The Red Dress
Viewing comments for Chapter 31 "The Red Dress chapter thirty one"The story of a teenage girl
12 total reviews
Comment from wordsfromsue
You have created a tragedy of errors! The girls are totally barking up the wrong tree, Lisa's barking up the wrong tree, Alan's wobbling along to the tune of Bob Dylan's song "Knock Knock Knocking on Heaven's Door".... When will there be some happiness?
I am waiting.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2012
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You have created a tragedy of errors! The girls are totally barking up the wrong tree, Lisa's barking up the wrong tree, Alan's wobbling along to the tune of Bob Dylan's song "Knock Knock Knocking on Heaven's Door".... When will there be some happiness?
I am waiting.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2012
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As you now know, not for a little while yet! Thank you my little ray of sunshine! Alexis x
Comment from G.B. Smith
Hey there Alexis
How can such a pretty face write such a devious plot. This is getting under my skin. Just about the time I think I've got you figured out, you dump me like a bad date on a Friday night
Bear
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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Hey there Alexis
How can such a pretty face write such a devious plot. This is getting under my skin. Just about the time I think I've got you figured out, you dump me like a bad date on a Friday night
Bear
Comment Written 06-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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So easily, my friend. I can write a novel (400 standard pages) in eight weeks, but it then takes me two months to edit! Never mind, I get there in the end! Alexis x
Comment from Malerie
The plot thickens once again. The "Team" are really trying to cheer Lisa up but they are only complicating the matter. Another good chapter. This is a small typo in the sentence reference below:
"Wel,l I am still nervous." (Just remove the ,"
Thanks for sharing this story; keep writing, I'll keep reading.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2012
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The plot thickens once again. The "Team" are really trying to cheer Lisa up but they are only complicating the matter. Another good chapter. This is a small typo in the sentence reference below:
"Wel,l I am still nervous." (Just remove the ,"
Thanks for sharing this story; keep writing, I'll keep reading.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2012
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Your eyes are going to be worse than mine at this rate! Thank you so much for your review and eagle eyes. Alexis x
Comment from MumEsGirl
Good fast moving chapter. Yes Lisa is really tryig everybody's patience. Hopefully she will start to move on soon, actually I have already read your next chapter and I see she makes a remarkable recovery lol
best wishes
kate
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2012
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Good fast moving chapter. Yes Lisa is really tryig everybody's patience. Hopefully she will start to move on soon, actually I have already read your next chapter and I see she makes a remarkable recovery lol
best wishes
kate
Comment Written 05-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2012
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Ah, the resilience of youth! Thank you so much for following and reviewing, I really do appreciate it. Alexis x
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, alexis, you did a great job writing this chapter where lisa thinks everything is over with alan because he's back with carla. and her roommate wants to kick her out of her slump
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2012
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this is very well written, alexis, you did a great job writing this chapter where lisa thinks everything is over with alan because he's back with carla. and her roommate wants to kick her out of her slump
Comment Written 05-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2012
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My goodness, you have been a marathon! I'm so glad your enjoying the book so far. Thank you for your lovely reviews, they are really appreciated. Alexis x
Comment from debskatz
Hey alexis,
Lawd have mercy! They're going to get Nick. We don't know what's going on with Alan. Geez!!!
A little spag:
Lisa sat on the bed, dry(-)eyed,
'Nobody(,)' she had replied
she had told Amy (that) he was good(-)looking.
"Well(,) I am still nervous.
Better on the spag! I'm trusting you to change it, so I gave you a 5.
On to the next chapter!
smiles,
deb
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2012
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Hey alexis,
Lawd have mercy! They're going to get Nick. We don't know what's going on with Alan. Geez!!!
A little spag:
Lisa sat on the bed, dry(-)eyed,
'Nobody(,)' she had replied
she had told Amy (that) he was good(-)looking.
"Well(,) I am still nervous.
Better on the spag! I'm trusting you to change it, so I gave you a 5.
On to the next chapter!
smiles,
deb
Comment Written 04-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2012
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Ah, trust is so important. Don't worry, Boss, all sorted! Alexis x
Comment from rwilliam
Another great chapter. Boy these girls have it ALL wrong... as does Lisa. *Sigh* I'm afraid Alan's going to pull through only to find her with Nick. Boo Hoo!!
I didn't catch anything to fix so I"m off to read more. Good work!
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2012
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Another great chapter. Boy these girls have it ALL wrong... as does Lisa. *Sigh* I'm afraid Alan's going to pull through only to find her with Nick. Boo Hoo!!
I didn't catch anything to fix so I"m off to read more. Good work!
Comment Written 04-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2012
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You do make me laugh! What could possibly make you think that? xxx
Comment from axelbeariter
Backgrond--Lisa is convinced Alan to back with Carla./Re-write: Lisa is convinced Alan is back with Carla.----You sure know how to keep the reader hanging from an 8th story hotel room ledge by a fingernail. There's more twists in this one than a triple-tied shoelace.----Great stuff.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2012
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Backgrond--Lisa is convinced Alan to back with Carla./Re-write: Lisa is convinced Alan is back with Carla.----You sure know how to keep the reader hanging from an 8th story hotel room ledge by a fingernail. There's more twists in this one than a triple-tied shoelace.----Great stuff.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2012
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I thought that was what I was supposed to do(!) You've got me now. I've never heard of a triple tied shoe lace--- must be all those high heels I wear. Thank you, Axel. Alexis x
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I try to construct original similes and metaphjors, but I quit wearing high heels when I knew I couldn't dance. Axel
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That comment could so have done with a ! Sorry, couldn't resist (!)
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
in that horrible place where you don't know whether to cry[] or laugh at your own stupidity.
throw it away[] because it was her only proof of them ever having been together.
[Now] all that remained was the two halves of a train ticket, which [now] lay on the bed like her heart- ripped in two.
and she felt the weight of guilt at having treated him so badly[] sit heavily on her shoulders. If he
Lisa decided that it was only right that she should suffer now in a similar way[].
"What's the story[,] Teddy? I could do with some inside information on this guy. In fact[,] I'm desperate for anything you can tell me.
I see you're still paragraphing the same way. Did you research it and find it's correct? Did you research block style?
"You have to eat something first to make yourself sick[] if you're bulimic.
"Christ, you don't think she's pregnant[,] do you?" suggested Linda, imagining the trouble Lisa would be in[] if she was.
had enough[] and was now seriously pissed off with her. Lisa realized she had been so preoccupied by her grief[] that she'd taken everyone's patience for
Perhaps you're sitting here crying[] when he's desperately trying to get hold of you."
Satisfied[] that she had got the answer she wanted, Amy stood up and told Lisa not to worry. Everything would work itself out...
had happened[] and was still madly in love with her.
"Well[,] I am still nervous. This man must have something wrong with him, or why has Lisa not, how you say, engaged herself to him?"
and there had been loads of times Lisa could have mentioned it[] if there was.
Roberta
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2012
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in that horrible place where you don't know whether to cry[] or laugh at your own stupidity.
throw it away[] because it was her only proof of them ever having been together.
[Now] all that remained was the two halves of a train ticket, which [now] lay on the bed like her heart- ripped in two.
and she felt the weight of guilt at having treated him so badly[] sit heavily on her shoulders. If he
Lisa decided that it was only right that she should suffer now in a similar way[].
"What's the story[,] Teddy? I could do with some inside information on this guy. In fact[,] I'm desperate for anything you can tell me.
I see you're still paragraphing the same way. Did you research it and find it's correct? Did you research block style?
"You have to eat something first to make yourself sick[] if you're bulimic.
"Christ, you don't think she's pregnant[,] do you?" suggested Linda, imagining the trouble Lisa would be in[] if she was.
had enough[] and was now seriously pissed off with her. Lisa realized she had been so preoccupied by her grief[] that she'd taken everyone's patience for
Perhaps you're sitting here crying[] when he's desperately trying to get hold of you."
Satisfied[] that she had got the answer she wanted, Amy stood up and told Lisa not to worry. Everything would work itself out...
had happened[] and was still madly in love with her.
"Well[,] I am still nervous. This man must have something wrong with him, or why has Lisa not, how you say, engaged herself to him?"
and there had been loads of times Lisa could have mentioned it[] if there was.
Roberta
Comment Written 04-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2012
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Thank you so much for your really helpful review, Roberta. I promise to spend time studying your notes next week before posting more. Alexis x
Comment from Maureen's Pen
How much longer are you going to have me on the edge of my seat?? I'm ready to fly over and become a bloody BC...
Everything penned was without a flaw...except of course the plot which as we speak is making my brain hurt.
Yes, yes get on with it girl. Driving me bonkers it is. Now I am ready for a stiff drink to drown my sorrows.
Maureen
wc
x
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2012
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How much longer are you going to have me on the edge of my seat?? I'm ready to fly over and become a bloody BC...
Everything penned was without a flaw...except of course the plot which as we speak is making my brain hurt.
Yes, yes get on with it girl. Driving me bonkers it is. Now I am ready for a stiff drink to drown my sorrows.
Maureen
wc
x
Comment Written 04-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2012
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Now calm down wc. You know this is just a story... Don't you? Only another 14 $%^&*(^%%* to go..... SBC xxx (or was it 12?)
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LOL your crazy ....just like me....:)
happy writing my friend.....
your da best BC ever....after a few drinks everything is rosey!!
Hugs
wc
xo