The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "The Family"A family learns their father is a serial killer
25 total reviews
Comment from Stalking Wolf
Writer is bringing story forward very smoothly. Action intense, and well described. The reader can the loss that James feels as he knows the truth and the pain it will cause. Enjoying.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2012
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Writer is bringing story forward very smoothly. Action intense, and well described. The reader can the loss that James feels as he knows the truth and the pain it will cause. Enjoying.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2012
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Thank you so much. This has been a book in the making for many years. I come from Washington state that at one time had the record for producing the most serial killers in America, something that always fascinated me.
Comment from lkline
This is the second chapter I read so far of your book, and I am looking forward to the next chapter. Once again, the writing flows and reads easily. Thanks for sharing!
Off the subject, but I saw you had a book for sale on Amazon. I may have to check that out! I write poetry and was wondering if you could give me any advice on how to get a book published. Where did you start? I would really appreciate any suggestions. Thanks so much!
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2012
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This is the second chapter I read so far of your book, and I am looking forward to the next chapter. Once again, the writing flows and reads easily. Thanks for sharing!
Off the subject, but I saw you had a book for sale on Amazon. I may have to check that out! I write poetry and was wondering if you could give me any advice on how to get a book published. Where did you start? I would really appreciate any suggestions. Thanks so much!
Comment Written 07-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2012
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Sadly, I really don't have any suggestions. The publisher came to me...I was very lucky. She is a great publisher and editor. Check my profile for her web address.
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Thanks! I will check that out. Good luck with everything!
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
Despite bragging to his co-workers and neighbors about his 'genius' son, behind closed doors[,] Dad never missed an opportunity to display his jealousy of
He told her what to wear[,] whom she could date, [and] took her shopping, telling Mom she had lousy taste in clothing.
"Good morning[,] James" went ignored as I walked out the back door.
What a terrible burden for anyone to bear, and especially a seventeen-year old.
Rpberta
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2012
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Despite bragging to his co-workers and neighbors about his 'genius' son, behind closed doors[,] Dad never missed an opportunity to display his jealousy of
He told her what to wear[,] whom she could date, [and] took her shopping, telling Mom she had lousy taste in clothing.
"Good morning[,] James" went ignored as I walked out the back door.
What a terrible burden for anyone to bear, and especially a seventeen-year old.
Rpberta
Comment Written 04-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2012
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Thanks for catching the spags. Yes, this is a terrible burden for anyone to have to bear.
Comment from Readywriter52
James is the only person that knows what will happen tomorrow. This chapter gives a good description of the family. It provides the dynamics of the family and how they interact with each other. It gives the reader an idea of how each member will act when their father/husband is arrested.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2012
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James is the only person that knows what will happen tomorrow. This chapter gives a good description of the family. It provides the dynamics of the family and how they interact with each other. It gives the reader an idea of how each member will act when their father/husband is arrested.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2012
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Because James knew what was going to happen it allowed me to inform the reader in advance...hopefully that worked. I am pleased you enjoyed this one.
Comment from Joan E.
It is fascinating to be back in the world of James and his intellect and his attempt to understand the sociopath and serial killer. Most of the chapter seemed familiar--it flows well, proving your edits are effective and seamless. -Joan
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
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It is fascinating to be back in the world of James and his intellect and his attempt to understand the sociopath and serial killer. Most of the chapter seemed familiar--it flows well, proving your edits are effective and seamless. -Joan
Comment Written 02-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
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The major changes I have made don't show up until chapter 5 or 6...the first chapter have minor changes. I am pleased you are glad James is back.
Comment from Kathryn Varuzza
Hello,
This made me say Wow!
Your words are powerful
This is full of emotion
You take the reader right there
Good descriptions
Good amount of suspense
And good way to end the chapter.
And I realize now that The Heir Apparent is the title of your book not your last chapter. I like the change.
Katie
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
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Hello,
This made me say Wow!
Your words are powerful
This is full of emotion
You take the reader right there
Good descriptions
Good amount of suspense
And good way to end the chapter.
And I realize now that The Heir Apparent is the title of your book not your last chapter. I like the change.
Katie
Comment Written 02-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
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Thanks so much. I am pleased you enjoyed this one.
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:)
Comment from Cranial Thinker
Wow!!!! My friend its on again and I am so ready for this....Every time I read this story its like so interesting
that I become so frustrated that I can not have the entire book so I can curl up in my chair with a nice cup of hot green tea of coffee and my classical music turned on softly playing with my mind totally and completely focusted on your every word in this story....This is such a wonderful write....Cranial Thinker
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
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Wow!!!! My friend its on again and I am so ready for this....Every time I read this story its like so interesting
that I become so frustrated that I can not have the entire book so I can curl up in my chair with a nice cup of hot green tea of coffee and my classical music turned on softly playing with my mind totally and completely focusted on your every word in this story....This is such a wonderful write....Cranial Thinker
Comment Written 02-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
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I am so pleased you like this. Your opinion means so much to me.
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Hi Valerie:)
I like the way you give more details about the family. The relationships between James' father and each family member enriches the background. I am also pleased that you give some background on the family wealth.
I am concerned with the sentence: " Dad's mother died when he was still a child and grandpa died when I was nine." {I am not confused, but you refer first to James maternal grandfather as 'grandpa' and then in this same paragraph, you call his paternal grandfather grandpa. I think people less familiar with the story may be confused about the grandfathers. I know this will be important later in the book.]
You do a great job of showing James' scholarly approach to learning more about sociopaths, psychopaths and serial killers.
This is an excellent build up to the coming events.
Love and Irish hugs,
Roger
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
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Hi Valerie:)
I like the way you give more details about the family. The relationships between James' father and each family member enriches the background. I am also pleased that you give some background on the family wealth.
I am concerned with the sentence: " Dad's mother died when he was still a child and grandpa died when I was nine." {I am not confused, but you refer first to James maternal grandfather as 'grandpa' and then in this same paragraph, you call his paternal grandfather grandpa. I think people less familiar with the story may be confused about the grandfathers. I know this will be important later in the book.]
You do a great job of showing James' scholarly approach to learning more about sociopaths, psychopaths and serial killers.
This is an excellent build up to the coming events.
Love and Irish hugs,
Roger
Comment Written 02-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
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This is a very good point. I mean to refer to James's parents as Grandmother and grandfather and James's mother's parents and grandma and grandpa.
Comment from Carolyn Hilliard
I take it this is the rewrite, so far it read smoothly. I found no typos. I did see under the author's notes that then editor at this site is doing funny stuff. Good so far.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2012
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I take it this is the rewrite, so far it read smoothly. I found no typos. I did see under the author's notes that then editor at this site is doing funny stuff. Good so far.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2012
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That's Evil Eddie again. I have yet to figure out why he does that. Glad you like this. I haven't made too many changes in the first 4 chapters. The major rewrite begins in chapter 5.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Are you rewriting this story as a whole or just altering it? I am a little confused although I did read chapter 1. When I was reading this story before, I thought it disappeared rather suddenly. In any case I'm pleased to see it back, and will look forward to th rehash. Giddy
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2012
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Are you rewriting this story as a whole or just altering it? I am a little confused although I did read chapter 1. When I was reading this story before, I thought it disappeared rather suddenly. In any case I'm pleased to see it back, and will look forward to th rehash. Giddy
Comment Written 01-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2012
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I am altering the first few chapters but have rewritten the rest of the book. I wasn't pleased with the original plot and pulled it to revise it. I am pleased you are glad to see it back.