The Red Dress
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "The Red dress chapter twenty two"The story of a teenage girl
13 total reviews
Comment from wordsfromsue
I don't trust this modeling agency, but we'll see. Why do I think Liam will be fat, balding, hair sprouting from various places and his studio will be quite suspicious? My antennaes are up!
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
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I don't trust this modeling agency, but we'll see. Why do I think Liam will be fat, balding, hair sprouting from various places and his studio will be quite suspicious? My antennaes are up!
Comment Written 16-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
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You're so right not to trust it, as your probably now know! Alexis x
Comment from G.B. Smith
Hello Beth
This is such a wonderful continence of the previous chapters.
So now Lisa, a nice 34C is going to model bras. I can just see Alan's jaw drop over this one. Cute chapter
Bear
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
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Hello Beth
This is such a wonderful continence of the previous chapters.
So now Lisa, a nice 34C is going to model bras. I can just see Alan's jaw drop over this one. Cute chapter
Bear
Comment Written 31-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
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Beth? I think it's a bit more like Alan dropping other peoples jaws in the next chapter. I hope you enjoy the consequences! Many thanks for following Alexis x
Comment from Malerie
Well, what's going on? Has Lisa's and Alan's romance cooled down some? Maybe reality is finally sinking in. Lisa is taking note of how people only see her as a pretty face and a great body. I'm waiting for the mature, independent Lisa t step forward even if it means leaving Alan behind, for a while. Another good chapter; keep writing, I'll keep reading.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
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Well, what's going on? Has Lisa's and Alan's romance cooled down some? Maybe reality is finally sinking in. Lisa is taking note of how people only see her as a pretty face and a great body. I'm waiting for the mature, independent Lisa t step forward even if it means leaving Alan behind, for a while. Another good chapter; keep writing, I'll keep reading.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
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Loads of different factors about to come into play. I really hope you enjoy them. Alexis x
Comment from AlexAX
Another great chapter. Great believable dialogue and visual. She is lucky she got that far in the modeling door already. Not to sure if Allan will be happy about her modeling bras. I only saw this .. As Lisa lay on(in)? his arms. Alex :)
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2012
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Another great chapter. Great believable dialogue and visual. She is lucky she got that far in the modeling door already. Not to sure if Allan will be happy about her modeling bras. I only saw this .. As Lisa lay on(in)? his arms. Alex :)
Comment Written 30-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2012
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Lol, well spotted! I'm sure Alan would be a bit hacked off with Lisa for lying on his arms and giving him pins and needles! Thank you. Alexis x
Comment from rwilliam
The reception of the agency was high tech with a chrome and beech reception desk, behind which sat a beautiful looking girl with long blonde hair caught up with a black spiked comb.--This is a great visual. Excellent!
WONDERFUL writing! I really enjoyed reading this chapter. It flowed very well. Great job!
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2012
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The reception of the agency was high tech with a chrome and beech reception desk, behind which sat a beautiful looking girl with long blonde hair caught up with a black spiked comb.--This is a great visual. Excellent!
WONDERFUL writing! I really enjoyed reading this chapter. It flowed very well. Great job!
Comment Written 30-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2012
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I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Thank you yet again for your lovely reviews and continued support. Alexis x
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi alexisleech
Good follow on from your last chapter, the dialogues are realistic and the wheeling and dealing of the agent (with all her wiles and contrived bonhommie) is great.
One correction -
she could have a full night's sleel. - sleep?
Patrick
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
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Hi alexisleech
Good follow on from your last chapter, the dialogues are realistic and the wheeling and dealing of the agent (with all her wiles and contrived bonhommie) is great.
One correction -
she could have a full night's sleel. - sleep?
Patrick
Comment Written 30-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
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Thank you so much for spotting that. It would seem I correct one thing and create another error in the process! Alexis x
Comment from MumEsGirl
Nice chapter. Lisa made me want to hit her when she went off spending money. It shows just how naive she really is.
Nice scene at the agency also. The reality of breaking into modelling - literally start at the bottom
best wishes
kate
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
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Nice chapter. Lisa made me want to hit her when she went off spending money. It shows just how naive she really is.
Nice scene at the agency also. The reality of breaking into modelling - literally start at the bottom
best wishes
kate
Comment Written 30-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
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I know, she just couldn't help herself! I think you will be surprised what happens next... Thank you so much for your review. Alexis x
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I bet she takes off with Richard lol
kate
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Oh, I wish it were that simple. I will try and post this evening! x
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Another great read and full of surprising outcomes. Modeling is a tough business getting help not the norm with no portfolio.
Great flow and imagery around the scenes within this chapter. Well done.
I only question how the time is set up in a novel format.
"By one:thirty she was ready to ..." // not sure this is right. Maybe check into it.:)
Loved the read, and as always great delivery....
Maureen
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2012
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Another great read and full of surprising outcomes. Modeling is a tough business getting help not the norm with no portfolio.
Great flow and imagery around the scenes within this chapter. Well done.
I only question how the time is set up in a novel format.
"By one:thirty she was ready to ..." // not sure this is right. Maybe check into it.:)
Loved the read, and as always great delivery....
Maureen
Comment Written 29-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2012
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Can't believe I missed this review, Maureen! I seem to be having difficulty getting to the bottom of my review page at the moment. Thank you my friend, I only put the semi colon in because of someone else's suggestion, but I'm sure your right wc! Take care, Alexis xxx
Comment from axelbeariter
When Alan and Lisa left the party and got into his car/Use After instead of When, because the next paragraph begins with When----"Well you're not, so it doesn't apply," he said./Drop the attribution. The reader knows who's speaking----"Then there will be more of you to love..."/Nice retort----but now she realised she wasn't, she was suitably impressed/Put that between now and she----She sucked absent mindedly on the pen again./Nice. Shows Sarah's thinking.----enthusiastically/Show that with a body movement or dialogue that expresses enthusiasm instead of telling the reader.----Another great write.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
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When Alan and Lisa left the party and got into his car/Use After instead of When, because the next paragraph begins with When----"Well you're not, so it doesn't apply," he said./Drop the attribution. The reader knows who's speaking----"Then there will be more of you to love..."/Nice retort----but now she realised she wasn't, she was suitably impressed/Put that between now and she----She sucked absent mindedly on the pen again./Nice. Shows Sarah's thinking.----enthusiastically/Show that with a body movement or dialogue that expresses enthusiasm instead of telling the reader.----Another great write.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
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Thank you so much. You are so right about the exclamation mark thing. I am now looking at ast chapters and cringing (!) Alexis
Comment from LisaSilva
Wonderful! I'm so glad she told Alan about how it feels to be adored for your looks. I honestly don't think I would have been able to attract my husband of 27 years without being thin and attractive, as he constantly reminded me. But I also looked terrible without make-up. I've been rejected on that basis alone! That's because I have blonde hair, eyelashes and eyebrows. Without make-up my face blends into nothing, practically. Sometimes I wonder how it would have felt to be a hippy with no make-up and see who ended up wanting to be with me. I also remember needing $500.00 for a portfolio if I wanted to make money modeling. I was too short, but they said it didn't matter. So glad I'm 50 now and don't have to worry about all that;) Love, Alexis! Lisa
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
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Wonderful! I'm so glad she told Alan about how it feels to be adored for your looks. I honestly don't think I would have been able to attract my husband of 27 years without being thin and attractive, as he constantly reminded me. But I also looked terrible without make-up. I've been rejected on that basis alone! That's because I have blonde hair, eyelashes and eyebrows. Without make-up my face blends into nothing, practically. Sometimes I wonder how it would have felt to be a hippy with no make-up and see who ended up wanting to be with me. I also remember needing $500.00 for a portfolio if I wanted to make money modeling. I was too short, but they said it didn't matter. So glad I'm 50 now and don't have to worry about all that;) Love, Alexis! Lisa
Comment Written 29-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
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I know exactly what you mean, Lisa, that's why this chapter was so easy to write. It's not a nice feeling to think that without your face on, you won't be loved. Sadly, I remember it well too! I constantly tell my kids how gorgeous they are...just wish my mum had done it to me. Alexis x