Penelope
A photo inspired ghost story39 total reviews
Comment from Realist101
GOOD LORD Beth!! Now, I can't finish my trick or treat story, because I was going to have the kids kill the witch...much like this superb ending here! LOL!! This is grusome without being grusome. AND it did NOT get to my box either!!! I am having a lot of trouble with my account and hopefully Tom will help? Listen, this is fantastic...I love this sort of writing...xoxo! Susan
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2011
  |
GOOD LORD Beth!! Now, I can't finish my trick or treat story, because I was going to have the kids kill the witch...much like this superb ending here! LOL!! This is grusome without being grusome. AND it did NOT get to my box either!!! I am having a lot of trouble with my account and hopefully Tom will help? Listen, this is fantastic...I love this sort of writing...xoxo! Susan
Comment Written 02-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2011
-
Wow! Susan. Your review make me feel like I'm walking on air. I haven't written anything in so long, I thought I'd forgotten how. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the wonderful six star rating and let those kids kill that witch.
Beth
-
Well, maybe? LOL! I really enjoyed Penelope...you ought to make it go for a couple more episodes! ")) S.
Comment from Just Alyx
Something different, which I really enjoyed. Excellent story to represent the picture, and you captured the child's voice beautifully. The ominous conclusion really sealed it and let the imagination fly, really liked that. Boredom and entrapment can do that to you, I guess. Even dead. And then there's jealousy to consider. Captivating piece, and photo. Great write. You just have a couple of random typos to adjust:
*I was born in 1876 ... My hateful cousin, [Barnaby] ... tell on him for stealing [Mama's] ring
*Barnaby could see me though ... He'd scream [something] awful
*Mama was so sad ... because the [bright] light
*I wish I could still eat candy ... go to school [anymore]
Happy to come back. Cheers. Alyx.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2011
 |
Something different, which I really enjoyed. Excellent story to represent the picture, and you captured the child's voice beautifully. The ominous conclusion really sealed it and let the imagination fly, really liked that. Boredom and entrapment can do that to you, I guess. Even dead. And then there's jealousy to consider. Captivating piece, and photo. Great write. You just have a couple of random typos to adjust:
*I was born in 1876 ... My hateful cousin, [Barnaby] ... tell on him for stealing [Mama's] ring
*Barnaby could see me though ... He'd scream [something] awful
*Mama was so sad ... because the [bright] light
*I wish I could still eat candy ... go to school [anymore]
Happy to come back. Cheers. Alyx.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2011
-
Thank you so much for the nice review and for finding the
typos. I think I've fixed them.
Beth
-
Perfect. No worries, you're welcome.
Comment from jasmine 53
a beautiful and impressive story. the writer has met the with grit which shows her superb writing skill.The picture showing a child holding a skull is very scary but when the story starts with a blend of innocence and compassion the reader gets involved in the story.the author has webbed the story with such an art that grips the attention of the reader tightly.The ghost of child narrates the occurrence of her tragic death moving out of her family,grief of her mother on her death that for a moment i also felt like crying.And then comes the Halloween the trick and treat session and playmate offer to accompany her... followed by the child ghost intention and the plan to keep her playmate with her forever. The story has all the qualities of a perfect short story.Keep it up because writing a short story is not that easy
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2011
|
a beautiful and impressive story. the writer has met the with grit which shows her superb writing skill.The picture showing a child holding a skull is very scary but when the story starts with a blend of innocence and compassion the reader gets involved in the story.the author has webbed the story with such an art that grips the attention of the reader tightly.The ghost of child narrates the occurrence of her tragic death moving out of her family,grief of her mother on her death that for a moment i also felt like crying.And then comes the Halloween the trick and treat session and playmate offer to accompany her... followed by the child ghost intention and the plan to keep her playmate with her forever. The story has all the qualities of a perfect short story.Keep it up because writing a short story is not that easy
Comment Written 02-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2011
-
Thank you so much for the wonderful review and comments. I so glad you like and I truly appreciate the five stars.
Beth
Comment from oozer
I simply do not know how to solve this, Penelope. Perhaps I should not even try. Wiser than I have tried and have been found wanting. I can only wish and hope and feel. Of course I feel very much for you, dear Penelope. I am worried and I fear that you may be tempted to become a force for, shall we say, spreading unhappiness... That would be going towards powers of darkness. You are a spirit now and have
nothing to fear from the Light. All spirits must make for the Light. Only in the Light shall we all find contentment and PEACE.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2011
|
I simply do not know how to solve this, Penelope. Perhaps I should not even try. Wiser than I have tried and have been found wanting. I can only wish and hope and feel. Of course I feel very much for you, dear Penelope. I am worried and I fear that you may be tempted to become a force for, shall we say, spreading unhappiness... That would be going towards powers of darkness. You are a spirit now and have
nothing to fear from the Light. All spirits must make for the Light. Only in the Light shall we all find contentment and PEACE.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2011
-
I love you review which you wrote as if your were actually talking to Penelope. Thank you so much for the five stars. They are truly apprecated.
Beth
Comment from ruby.sahay
An excellent story ! The good ghost as it comes across, draws the reader's sympathy and offers a fictional explanation to why spirits haunt someone or some place. The conclusion is interesting but sounds really scary. I'm sure none of us would want Emily to die.
The simple, lucid language is appreciable. Good read!
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2011
|
An excellent story ! The good ghost as it comes across, draws the reader's sympathy and offers a fictional explanation to why spirits haunt someone or some place. The conclusion is interesting but sounds really scary. I'm sure none of us would want Emily to die.
The simple, lucid language is appreciable. Good read!
Comment Written 02-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2011
-
Thank you so much for the five star review and the nice comments. I truly appreciate it.
Beth
Comment from mmmichelle34
You should continue this in a longer story it is very good I have all the episodes of a haunting and I bet that could passably have somewhat of a true meaning the ghost being a child. But knowing this ins fiction it would be a great story to take this peace over to a book. I liked it good work.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2011
|
You should continue this in a longer story it is very good I have all the episodes of a haunting and I bet that could passably have somewhat of a true meaning the ghost being a child. But knowing this ins fiction it would be a great story to take this peace over to a book. I liked it good work.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2011
-
Thank you so much for your encouraging review and the five stars.
Comment from Edsnells
This is a nice little story. The photo is kind of terrifying!! I like how you built it into a character sketch and shared some of the feelings the lost girl deals with.
I wish I'd had this to read on Halloween!!
Thanks!!
ES
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2011
 |
This is a nice little story. The photo is kind of terrifying!! I like how you built it into a character sketch and shared some of the feelings the lost girl deals with.
I wish I'd had this to read on Halloween!!
Thanks!!
ES
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2011
-
I see you are new with fan story. Welcome. I'm glad you liked the story. I meant to write it before Halloween.
Comment from Mariea
Hello Beth. What a scary story that is. The story progressed well as it developed and without any clutter. The ghost character was well portrayed and very appropriate photography.
Have a great day, hugs Mia
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2011
|
Hello Beth. What a scary story that is. The story progressed well as it developed and without any clutter. The ghost character was well portrayed and very appropriate photography.
Have a great day, hugs Mia
Comment Written 02-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2011
-
Thank you Mia I really appreciate you nice review and comments.
Beth
Comment from Paul Greatrix
a nice new perspective given here in this ghostly piece. Your narrative voice is especially strong here. You were very convincing speaking as a long dead child. Nice work.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2011
|
a nice new perspective given here in this ghostly piece. Your narrative voice is especially strong here. You were very convincing speaking as a long dead child. Nice work.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2011
-
Thank you Paul. I appreciate the five star review and nice comments. I'm glad you found the voice convincing.
