Penelope
A photo inspired ghost story39 total reviews
Comment from Linda England Bonam
This was a very cute story you told here about the ghost of the little girl. Since she had a violent death she was still hanging around. I loved the creativity you used to tell this story and have it sound so sensible! Great job!
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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This was a very cute story you told here about the ghost of the little girl. Since she had a violent death she was still hanging around. I loved the creativity you used to tell this story and have it sound so sensible! Great job!
Comment Written 04-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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Thank you so much for the review and nice comments. I really appreciate you taking the time to review.
Beth
Comment from humpwhistle
Hey, Beth,
I like this story---especially the ending. You give me an idea about why Barnaby might have pushed Penelope.
I'm not sure what the parameters of your challenge were, but I wonder if paragraph 2 isn't a little too concise. I'm thinking that a young girl would give up that information in a more round-about way. Just my thought.
Good stuff, Beth.
Sorry I'm late, but I haven't had power for six days.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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Hey, Beth,
I like this story---especially the ending. You give me an idea about why Barnaby might have pushed Penelope.
I'm not sure what the parameters of your challenge were, but I wonder if paragraph 2 isn't a little too concise. I'm thinking that a young girl would give up that information in a more round-about way. Just my thought.
Good stuff, Beth.
Sorry I'm late, but I haven't had power for six days.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 04-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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Hi Lee,
I was beginning to worry about you. I know how it is to be without power as I was without it a week during April. I hope you managed to keep warm and I'm glad you have it back. Thanks for the great comments and the five stars. For the writing club, I try not to go over a page as others have to read theirs too.
You're right about paragraph two. I'll look into espanding it. At least I managed to get something on paper. I was beginning to think I lost the ability to write.
Beth
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Beth, coming out of the chill, I was really happy to see that you had posted a story---and a good one, too.
Actually, while I bumbling around in the cold and dark, I remembered that you had endured it, too. You were my beacon. Lee
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I enjoyed reading about your secret friend. My boys always had secret friends. My youngest had a tiger following him around.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2011
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I enjoyed reading about your secret friend. My boys always had secret friends. My youngest had a tiger following him around.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2011
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Thank you Barbara, I appreciate the review and nice comments.
Beth
Comment from peggles
Well written and very scary
The picture is perfect for your story
it is very sad the little ghost girl is so lonely
but her answer to end her loneliness is frightening
I enjoyed reading this
Well done
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2011
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Well written and very scary
The picture is perfect for your story
it is very sad the little ghost girl is so lonely
but her answer to end her loneliness is frightening
I enjoyed reading this
Well done
Comment Written 03-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2011
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Thank you so much for the five star review and the lovely comments. I figured if it was going to be Spooky story, I might as well add a little horror.
Beth
Comment from adewpearl
Love the photo - no wonder it inspired you :-)
Good back story for Penelope the ghost.
I love that she is afraid the light will melt her :-)
What a chilling ending as the ghost desires a permanent playmate. Brooke :-)
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2011
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Love the photo - no wonder it inspired you :-)
Good back story for Penelope the ghost.
I love that she is afraid the light will melt her :-)
What a chilling ending as the ghost desires a permanent playmate. Brooke :-)
Comment Written 03-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2011
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Thank you Brook for the review and the nice comments. You gave me my fifteenth review which is what I was hoping for.
Beth
Comment from WRITER1
This little ghost is a bit demented. It was a very good story and as always I enjoy your writing. You are so luck to have a writing club where you live.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2011
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This little ghost is a bit demented. It was a very good story and as always I enjoy your writing. You are so luck to have a writing club where you live.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2011
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Thank you so much for the review. I haven't written anything for months and I was about to think I lost whatever motivation I had to write.
Beth
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I know that feeling my book Emily is dragging along. I just can't seem to sit down and do it.
Comment from Rama Rao
Yes, It would be perfect for both of you. It's good to see you after a long break.
This piece, well scripted, made excellent reading. I thought with November on us, there would be no more ghost stories.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2011
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Yes, It would be perfect for both of you. It's good to see you after a long break.
This piece, well scripted, made excellent reading. I thought with November on us, there would be no more ghost stories.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2011
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Thank you so much for the review and comments. I guess I'm a bit of a procrastinator. I meant to get it in in October but the Writer's Club meeting isn't until tonight.
Beth
Comment from janalma
Well written and chilling. The picture is perfect for the story. You did a good job of melding the two. The little ghost is so innocent, but her solution for her lonliness is frightening. Good inventive writing. I didn't see any errors.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2011
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Well written and chilling. The picture is perfect for the story. You did a good job of melding the two. The little ghost is so innocent, but her solution for her lonliness is frightening. Good inventive writing. I didn't see any errors.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2011
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Thank you so much for the five star review and the nice comments. It is truly appreciated.
Beth
Comment from Belinda
Hi, Beth. I always like the idea of imaginary friends, and this is no exception, the more so because you write it in the point of view of the friend. This is a timely write in the Halloween season, and very interesting.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2011
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Hi, Beth. I always like the idea of imaginary friends, and this is no exception, the more so because you write it in the point of view of the friend. This is a timely write in the Halloween season, and very interesting.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2011
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Thank you Belinda. I really appreciate the five stars and nice comments.
Beth
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
What a great little story, Beth.
It starts so sadly, with her
innocence shining through, and
then there's the twist at the
end, which makes it really scary.
a couple of minor things...
I always went (to) his room
Finally(,) everyone
Margaret
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2011
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What a great little story, Beth.
It starts so sadly, with her
innocence shining through, and
then there's the twist at the
end, which makes it really scary.
a couple of minor things...
I always went (to) his room
Finally(,) everyone
Margaret
Comment Written 02-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2011
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Thank you so much Margaret for the review and your nice words. I haven't been on this site in months and I was about to lose confidence in my ability to write anything someone would enjoy reading. You affirming words make me feel better. I really appreciate you catching my spags.
Beth
