Personal Prison
A song to someone special who is lost right now17 total reviews
Comment from Zombie's Woof
Hi-
Wow, this is like some bizarre, cultish,
brain-washing poem... come into the fold
and drink the cool-aide little one...
you have forgotten the way... the
Donner Party awaits you... we are hungry
and cold and starving... oops, no, you
are hungry and cold and starving...
oh, and bring us pizza before we
devour you.
Scary, imaginative stuff!
Great work! ZW
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2011
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Hi-
Wow, this is like some bizarre, cultish,
brain-washing poem... come into the fold
and drink the cool-aide little one...
you have forgotten the way... the
Donner Party awaits you... we are hungry
and cold and starving... oops, no, you
are hungry and cold and starving...
oh, and bring us pizza before we
devour you.
Scary, imaginative stuff!
Great work! ZW
Comment Written 08-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2011
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Are you kidding me? I honestly don't believe you thought I was writing tongue-in-cheek. My authors notes clearly stated that this was a prayer I am praying for a friend who is struggling to find hope. If you don't believe in what I am writing then please don't review, if you can't separate. I can understand and respect that because their are alot of things on this site that I don't like, and so I pass it by. But to insult me by using the words cultish and brainwashing is not ok.
Comment from chita
Your author notes are superb-you have good imagery and a good flow with your write-I love your write for many people can really relate to these well written lyrics-I love all of your write and especially where you write(You want to trust His promises-To make you whole once more) what a well penned lyric--with so much Spirituality and feeling--great job.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2011
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Your author notes are superb-you have good imagery and a good flow with your write-I love your write for many people can really relate to these well written lyrics-I love all of your write and especially where you write(You want to trust His promises-To make you whole once more) what a well penned lyric--with so much Spirituality and feeling--great job.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2011
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I am so glad you understood this piece. Thank you.
Comment from Piggies Grandma
I enjoyed reading your poem/song very much. It is cleverly written and very well thought out. I hope your friend liked it too. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2011
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I enjoyed reading your poem/song very much. It is cleverly written and very well thought out. I hope your friend liked it too. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2011
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Thank you. It is going to be a long road for her, but I keep praying every day that she feels hope.
Comment from waihekebach
Wonderful lyrics for a song or poem.
The flow is melodoius so will sound beautiful when sung.
The lyrics hold hope as well as faith.
Very well done and the best of luck.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2011
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Wonderful lyrics for a song or poem.
The flow is melodoius so will sound beautiful when sung.
The lyrics hold hope as well as faith.
Very well done and the best of luck.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2011
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Thank you. I appreciate your kind review.
Comment from Betty517
This would be an awesome song for the church choir. I love the beautiful sentiment. I'm not sure how the song went but it flows very well.
Betty
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2011
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This would be an awesome song for the church choir. I love the beautiful sentiment. I'm not sure how the song went but it flows very well.
Betty
Comment Written 06-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2011
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Thank you. I am glad you liked this.
Comment from kathryn85
I am so sorry to give you 3 stars. But less is more. There was too many words and I never heard of pre-chorus or bridge. I could just be out of the loop. This was a deep poem and you are a gifted writer but it was not structured as a song. Sorry
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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2011
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I am so sorry to give you 3 stars. But less is more. There was too many words and I never heard of pre-chorus or bridge. I could just be out of the loop. This was a deep poem and you are a gifted writer but it was not structured as a song. Sorry
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2011
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I have to disagree, As a musician this is exactly how music is structured. I play in a band and when you follow music this is how it is layed out. Please rate me on the content of the piece and now how you feel a song should be structured.
Comment from SharonSue
Good job. Really can feel the comfort knowing that God is there just for the asking. Easy to read and flows very nicely. Peaceful words for a peaceful song. Good Luck!
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2011
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Good job. Really can feel the comfort knowing that God is there just for the asking. Easy to read and flows very nicely. Peaceful words for a peaceful song. Good Luck!
Comment Written 05-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2011
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Thank you. I appreciate your insightful review.
Comment from Judith Ann
Outstanding poem and one that has so much feeling. You describe the hopeless sense which surrounds us at times but you also hold out hope because of Faith. I really love the bridge:
Refresh Me
Renew Me
My heart longs for truth.
Redeem Me
Redeemer
My soul cries out to you.
Well done. -Judy
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2011
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Outstanding poem and one that has so much feeling. You describe the hopeless sense which surrounds us at times but you also hold out hope because of Faith. I really love the bridge:
Refresh Me
Renew Me
My heart longs for truth.
Redeem Me
Redeemer
My soul cries out to you.
Well done. -Judy
Comment Written 05-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2011
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Thanks, this five sure helps the two i got. LOL
Comment from WilliamDeen
Your song is a beautiful spiritual song for God and he loves it, I am sure! Your song has a good rhyming scheme and a super rhythm to it.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2011
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Your song is a beautiful spiritual song for God and he loves it, I am sure! Your song has a good rhyming scheme and a super rhythm to it.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2011
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Thank you. I am glad this song made sense to you. I appreciate the read.
Comment from forestport12
Wow. Another solid Christian song. I'm amazed at how many entries had gospel ring to them. Other's might think the Christians are taking it over, but I love this one. This had depth and some powerful words to recall. Good luck.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2011
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Wow. Another solid Christian song. I'm amazed at how many entries had gospel ring to them. Other's might think the Christians are taking it over, but I love this one. This had depth and some powerful words to recall. Good luck.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2011
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Thank you. I have not had a chance to look at the other entries now I am excited to. So many of my songs are Christian cuz it just speaks of my heart. So glad you enjoyed this. Blessings