Dreaming
The ending of a dream.5 total reviews
Comment from Metal Head
Okay. Normally I don't do poetry as my mind's simply not wired to appreciate it, certainly the more abstract stuff. But I read this, and I got it. It made sense, so that's a plus.
On the flip side, to me it doesn't conform to a 5-7-5 poem. The last line has six syllables. This is assuming of course you pronounce often with two syllables, as us Brits do.
If I'm wrong on the pronounciation let me know and I'll re-rate accordingly.
Regards
Michael D
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011
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Okay. Normally I don't do poetry as my mind's simply not wired to appreciate it, certainly the more abstract stuff. But I read this, and I got it. It made sense, so that's a plus.
On the flip side, to me it doesn't conform to a 5-7-5 poem. The last line has six syllables. This is assuming of course you pronounce often with two syllables, as us Brits do.
If I'm wrong on the pronounciation let me know and I'll re-rate accordingly.
Regards
Michael D
Comment Written 27-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2011
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no you are probably right.. i will have to recheck the last line i thought it was five. if not i will have to find a way to fix that. i probably didn't count often as two sylables. thanks for pointing that out. i will go check it now.
Comment from Judian James
Here you are. So, you joined after all? Well, this is short and there's a lot of "dream"s in such a brief piece, however when one really thinks about this, it's true. IF you're living the dreamer's dream, the dream is over!
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Here you are. So, you joined after all? Well, this is short and there's a lot of "dream"s in such a brief piece, however when one really thinks about this, it's true. IF you're living the dreamer's dream, the dream is over!
Comment Written 26-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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It is a haiku.. I was only allowed the 5'7'5 sylables. No I haven't joined. I was offered this contest per signing up for a free account. It is the only thing that I am and was allowed to write something. I never even heard of a haiku before so it was
a challenge to try and do. At least they gave me a small example.
Comment from daniela.albu
You play with the word dream confering it multiple meanings. The background comes across as rather heavy for the eye and difficult to read the font. You manage to convey a feeling of living in a dream.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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You play with the word dream confering it multiple meanings. The background comes across as rather heavy for the eye and difficult to read the font. You manage to convey a feeling of living in a dream.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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thank you. I also changed the backround back to the origional black and white as you and one other mentioned that it made it hard to read.
Comment from cercie
Thank you for sharing I am not sure that I got it though. I would think it hard to write three lines to make a meaningful poem. I found it hard to read do to the color of the back ground. I would like to read more of your work
Chris/cercie
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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Thank you for sharing I am not sure that I got it though. I would think it hard to write three lines to make a meaningful poem. I found it hard to read do to the color of the back ground. I would like to read more of your work
Chris/cercie
Comment Written 20-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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Thank you for your kind words. I did change the backround back to the origional color. I just joined this site earlier today. I just learned that i have to pay for it in order to post any of my work. Which I am unable to do at this time. I was only allowed to enter this contest upon joining the site. I will upgrade when I can because I would like to get opinions of my writings.
Comment from c_lucas
It is a fine thing to dream as long as you act upon your dreams. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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It is a fine thing to dream as long as you act upon your dreams. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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Thank you. It was really hard to try and write something with the 5-7-5 rule. Since I am not a paid member as of yet this was the only contest that I was able to enter. I just wrote it on the spur of the moment. took about 30 sec to a min to get the right amount of sylables for each line.
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You're welcome. Alila. Charlie
