Love
Night with my lover29 total reviews
Comment from mchapman
Very well written for a short love poem. The storyline is clear as is the imagery The painting compliments the poem good job and thanks for sharing....mary
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2011
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Very well written for a short love poem. The storyline is clear as is the imagery The painting compliments the poem good job and thanks for sharing....mary
Comment Written 05-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2011
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Tanks for the encouraging word Mary
Comment from Art Aliz
Your 5/7/5,is perfect in form. I like the long sounds of the vowels in your choice of words. The phrase,"Cool breeze dancing..." is beautiful, sensory and evocative.
All the best for the competition.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2011
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Your 5/7/5,is perfect in form. I like the long sounds of the vowels in your choice of words. The phrase,"Cool breeze dancing..." is beautiful, sensory and evocative.
All the best for the competition.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2011
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thanks a lot Art Aliz for your encouraging word.
Geetbhim
Comment from bbowen6757
Excellent 5/7/5 poem. I think you've picked some great artwork to illustrate your poem. It's hard to tell for sure which came first.
Enjoyed,
Bobby
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2011
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Excellent 5/7/5 poem. I think you've picked some great artwork to illustrate your poem. It's hard to tell for sure which came first.
Enjoyed,
Bobby
Comment Written 04-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2011
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Tanks for the encouraging word bobby
Comment from elliejean
Every simple but very well spoken. I like the abstract picture. It says to me, you can't explain love in a way the eye can see, only the way a heart must feel. Looking forward to reading more of your work,
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2011
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Every simple but very well spoken. I like the abstract picture. It says to me, you can't explain love in a way the eye can see, only the way a heart must feel. Looking forward to reading more of your work,
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2011
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Very well said elliejean I agree with you.
Thanks for the review
Geetbhim
Comment from waihekebach
This is a lovely 5-7-5 GEETBHIM and most romantic.
I like the way you have the breeze dancing.
Your syllable count is good, except last line. If you go back to portfolio, you can edit and fix this with just one more word.
The best of contest luck.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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This is a lovely 5-7-5 GEETBHIM and most romantic.
I like the way you have the breeze dancing.
Your syllable count is good, except last line. If you go back to portfolio, you can edit and fix this with just one more word.
The best of contest luck.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Thanks a lot for your encouraging words and for generous rating.
Last line have 5 syllable, i don't find any thing wrong in that.
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OOOOOOh I am so sorry. I am losing the plot today.
Comment from God's Writer
This is a wonderful Haiku. You have done it in the Japanese truest form, about nature. Also you have made a complete story instead of a bunch of one liners. A lot of poets have problems with this. If you remember with poetry you are telling a story under the constraints that the type of poem places on you, you will be a great poet. Great job!!!!
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2011
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This is a wonderful Haiku. You have done it in the Japanese truest form, about nature. Also you have made a complete story instead of a bunch of one liners. A lot of poets have problems with this. If you remember with poetry you are telling a story under the constraints that the type of poem places on you, you will be a great poet. Great job!!!!
Comment Written 29-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2011
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Thanks a lot happy poet for your encouraging word.
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Thank you for the wonderful Haiku.
Comment from Akarva
A nice poem on love set on the backdrop of a seashore. It evokes a beautiful feeling among the lovers who are together in the moonlight. Ideal place to be and an ideal time to be. Good one..
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2011
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A nice poem on love set on the backdrop of a seashore. It evokes a beautiful feeling among the lovers who are together in the moonlight. Ideal place to be and an ideal time to be. Good one..
Comment Written 22-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2011
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Thanks for reading and for generous rating.
geetbhim
Comment from healfromwithin
The second line was your best. I had some suggestions:
The poem's syllabic meter was 5/5/5. (contest calls for 5/7/5.) The background color and font color was hard on my eyes. The lines seemed disconnected and don't complement each other very well. (They could have been separate lines from 3 different poems with 3 different ideas.)
I think you can make this better with a little tweaking.
Good luck on your writing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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The second line was your best. I had some suggestions:
The poem's syllabic meter was 5/5/5. (contest calls for 5/7/5.) The background color and font color was hard on my eyes. The lines seemed disconnected and don't complement each other very well. (They could have been separate lines from 3 different poems with 3 different ideas.)
I think you can make this better with a little tweaking.
Good luck on your writing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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Thanks for the suggestion.
Can you please explain me how the first line is 6 syllable.
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sorry, 5/5/5
Comment from Hareem.S
This is a nice entry for a contest. Its simple yet effective, easy to understand. A vivid enough, and the words are well chosen.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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This is a nice entry for a contest. Its simple yet effective, easy to understand. A vivid enough, and the words are well chosen.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2011
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Thanks for the generous rating.
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thanks for the rating.
Frankly speaking i don't know how to add picture if you can help me for this.
thanks for reading
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OK, when you post you just have to click on the chose the picture item. You can chose from fan art review( a pile of pics here) or from you own pics. Its very easy:)
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thanks hareem with your help i was able to add the picture plz review it and give further suggestion if required.
