Reflections For The New Day
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Failure and Success"13 total reviews
Comment from Lainee
Hi jewell,
I think you have a unique way of sharing your thoughts and by doing good we all hope it will come back tenfold by way of simple things.
Thankyou for sharing this,
Lainee :)
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Hi jewell,
I think you have a unique way of sharing your thoughts and by doing good we all hope it will come back tenfold by way of simple things.
Thankyou for sharing this,
Lainee :)
Comment Written 04-Mar-2005
Comment from El Romantico
You may have rambled on a little bit but you ask a lot of thought provoking questions that we should reflect on within our own lives. We can always say we did this and we did that, but are we actually taking the time to learn and appreciate the ones in our lives that has helped us along our journey? Are we helping those as well and returning the favor. Your last line summed it up when you said it will come back tenfold. Treat others how you would want to be treated. Thanks for your messages. You are talented.
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You may have rambled on a little bit but you ask a lot of thought provoking questions that we should reflect on within our own lives. We can always say we did this and we did that, but are we actually taking the time to learn and appreciate the ones in our lives that has helped us along our journey? Are we helping those as well and returning the favor. Your last line summed it up when you said it will come back tenfold. Treat others how you would want to be treated. Thanks for your messages. You are talented.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2004
Comment from InfinitySeven
Jewell, I give you five stars because I think this piece works as it is. It is your unique voice and vision. However, I would have liked it more if you trimmed out some of the extra words that don't carry as much weight...
"My strongest desire
is to be receptive to
the thoughts and ideas
of others,
in order for them to
teach me from their
own bank of wisdom"
In the above you could toss out "own bank of" and probably not lose a thing.
Also, I think your poem would be more powerful if you made the reader answer each question. There are a lot of ways to do this if you decide you like this suggestion. If not, just disregard.
I hope you don't mind the critical comments. I won't mind if you don't follow them. Thank you for sharing this moment.
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Jewell, I give you five stars because I think this piece works as it is. It is your unique voice and vision. However, I would have liked it more if you trimmed out some of the extra words that don't carry as much weight...
"My strongest desire
is to be receptive to
the thoughts and ideas
of others,
in order for them to
teach me from their
own bank of wisdom"
In the above you could toss out "own bank of" and probably not lose a thing.
Also, I think your poem would be more powerful if you made the reader answer each question. There are a lot of ways to do this if you decide you like this suggestion. If not, just disregard.
I hope you don't mind the critical comments. I won't mind if you don't follow them. Thank you for sharing this moment.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2004
Comment from suneagle
Admirable sentiments, Jewell, cast forth in a poem of intricate weaving of thoughts, concepts and intentions that could only be spoken well of. Sort of like a New Year resolution. Well done.
back to me ten fold ("tenfold" is one word.)
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Admirable sentiments, Jewell, cast forth in a poem of intricate weaving of thoughts, concepts and intentions that could only be spoken well of. Sort of like a New Year resolution. Well done.
back to me ten fold ("tenfold" is one word.)
Comment Written 21-Dec-2004
Comment from Jaxson Phoenix
Jewell,
I think you kept your focus well throughout the piece. The ending just put an exclamation point to end the thought process. It is another fine example of your literary talents.
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Jewell,
I think you kept your focus well throughout the piece. The ending just put an exclamation point to end the thought process. It is another fine example of your literary talents.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2004
Comment from Cloaked Writer
Dear Author,
Failure and Success is very thoughtful as well as thought-provoking poem which the author has written with depth, creativity, and insight. I like how you ponder upon failure, success, wisdom, responsibility, leading, and being receptive to the ideas of others. I love the idealistic nature of this piece.
Great job,
The Masked Writer
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Dear Author,
Failure and Success is very thoughtful as well as thought-provoking poem which the author has written with depth, creativity, and insight. I like how you ponder upon failure, success, wisdom, responsibility, leading, and being receptive to the ideas of others. I love the idealistic nature of this piece.
Great job,
The Masked Writer
Comment Written 20-Dec-2004
Comment from Ice Maiden
This finishes nicely with the writing of karmic ways. A lot of truths throughout...I wouldn't want to change any of this poem. Freedom in speech written for others to see it...it's great.
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This finishes nicely with the writing of karmic ways. A lot of truths throughout...I wouldn't want to change any of this poem. Freedom in speech written for others to see it...it's great.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2004
Comment from newdeepxx
I love the ending, you certainly did not ramble! Very uplifting. The idea of Karma is very powerful to me, and you wrote with such a wonderful sense of it. Thankyou for sharing!
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I love the ending, you certainly did not ramble! Very uplifting. The idea of Karma is very powerful to me, and you wrote with such a wonderful sense of it. Thankyou for sharing!
Comment Written 20-Dec-2004
Comment from Dawn of Tomorrow
I like it Jewel. I don't see anything in there that needs deleting. It's not repetitive and each stanza speaks a part of the lesson. I say well done.
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I like it Jewel. I don't see anything in there that needs deleting. It's not repetitive and each stanza speaks a part of the lesson. I say well done.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2004
Comment from made2soar
Yes! Great poem and great attitude to center one's self on. Failure is only to test you to see how bad you want it, it whispers come on, try it again. Thank you for sharing, Jewell. Jim
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Yes! Great poem and great attitude to center one's self on. Failure is only to test you to see how bad you want it, it whispers come on, try it again. Thank you for sharing, Jewell. Jim
Comment Written 20-Dec-2004
