Life
This poem is about a life circle3 total reviews
Comment from mumsyone
Oops! Your poem is not a 5-7-5! This category calls for a poem of only 3 lines, with 5, 7, and 5 syllables, so your poem won't work for this contest. Hope you can change it to work.
Life goes by like a (5 syllables)
circle we have five important parts of (10 syllables)
Our lives that lasts forever. (7 syllables)
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
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Oops! Your poem is not a 5-7-5! This category calls for a poem of only 3 lines, with 5, 7, and 5 syllables, so your poem won't work for this contest. Hope you can change it to work.
Life goes by like a (5 syllables)
circle we have five important parts of (10 syllables)
Our lives that lasts forever. (7 syllables)
Comment Written 12-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
Comment from Van
Hanna, your submission is actually a 5,10,7...the numbers are for counting the syllables. I personally think the Haiku, Senryu and other Japanese shorts are very difficult to establish meaning with. But a bunch of folks seem to like them. Drop your lines to syllable counts vice word counts.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
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Hanna, your submission is actually a 5,10,7...the numbers are for counting the syllables. I personally think the Haiku, Senryu and other Japanese shorts are very difficult to establish meaning with. But a bunch of folks seem to like them. Drop your lines to syllable counts vice word counts.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
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thank
you
Comment from healfromwithin
Good try at writing a metered poem. There are several things to note: The 5/7/5 meter wasn't right for contest entry. Meter/syllabic count in your piece is:
Line 1 = 5 syllables
Line 2 = 10 syllables
Line 3 = 7 syllables
Each line is better if it can stand on its own. "like a"
"circle..." (on next line)..."parts of..." "our lives..." on next line.)-I wouldn't capitalize "our" because you didn't capitalize "circle." (keep consistency)
"that last forever.
Good attempt. Please revisit it and tweak it up a bit.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
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Good try at writing a metered poem. There are several things to note: The 5/7/5 meter wasn't right for contest entry. Meter/syllabic count in your piece is:
Line 1 = 5 syllables
Line 2 = 10 syllables
Line 3 = 7 syllables
Each line is better if it can stand on its own. "like a"
"circle..." (on next line)..."parts of..." "our lives..." on next line.)-I wouldn't capitalize "our" because you didn't capitalize "circle." (keep consistency)
"that last
Good attempt. Please revisit it and tweak it up a bit.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2011
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thank you