Old Decrepit Woman Revised.
Written about a painting I saw.177 total reviews
Comment from LoveLifeKnight
very profound and lyrical. i loved it, a sad poem but the fact that it was written at saint andrews made me happy. thanks for sharing!!
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2011
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very profound and lyrical. i loved it, a sad poem but the fact that it was written at saint andrews made me happy. thanks for sharing!!
Comment Written 29-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2011
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Thank you very much Angelia.
Comment from livingwords
This is obviously a work of art transformed into a work of poetry and poignancy. It is to be admired. You should be proud to have accomplished this. Dan :))
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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This is obviously a work of art transformed into a work of poetry and poignancy. It is to be admired. You should be proud to have accomplished this. Dan :))
Comment Written 27-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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Thank you very much dan.
Comment from prophetess
I'm so glad I read the authors notes on this one, Lol, as so many of us will become "old decrepit women", it was almost depressing, and actually still, I'm still pondering it, and trying to not let it take me there. Lol. Good job.
Prophetess
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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I'm so glad I read the authors notes on this one, Lol, as so many of us will become "old decrepit women", it was almost depressing, and actually still, I'm still pondering it, and trying to not let it take me there. Lol. Good job.
Prophetess
Comment Written 27-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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Thank you prophetess.
Comment from RYME4U
Very descriptive and heart wrenching! The simile of "raisin losing its breath" is fresh and original. The repetition in the poem emphasizes the plight of the old woman in the picture. Great job
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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Very descriptive and heart wrenching! The simile of "raisin losing its breath" is fresh and original. The repetition in the poem emphasizes the plight of the old woman in the picture. Great job
Comment Written 27-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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Thank you ryme.
Comment from DragonSkulls
Wow, what a great write Justin. I wish I could see the painting you were writing about. I'm a little confused about the snake pit though. Life in general? We'll all get just as the old decrepit woman some day. Some will be more battered on the way than others but still the same outcome. I didn't know what an Ekphrastic was. Thanks, learn something new every day. Great write Justin. 2M
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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Wow, what a great write Justin. I wish I could see the painting you were writing about. I'm a little confused about the snake pit though. Life in general? We'll all get just as the old decrepit woman some day. Some will be more battered on the way than others but still the same outcome. I didn't know what an Ekphrastic was. Thanks, learn something new every day. Great write Justin. 2M
Comment Written 27-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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Thank you 2m. Yeah the snake pit I think could be a metaphor for life. I think I was thinking of it more as a symbol of death.
Comment from WRITER1
Very well done. You portrayed the subject well. I think this is a fine example of our human weakness. If only we could subside death.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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Very well done. You portrayed the subject well. I think this is a fine example of our human weakness. If only we could subside death.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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Thank you writer.
Comment from Chrisfiore
Hi Justin, This was a great exercise in writing a poem from an impersonal prompt. Sometimes we let emotions get in the way of good prose, but because you were apart from this picture and not a part of it, you were allowed to make some serious observations. A solid performance. Chrisfiore
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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Hi Justin, This was a great exercise in writing a poem from an impersonal prompt. Sometimes we let emotions get in the way of good prose, but because you were apart from this picture and not a part of it, you were allowed to make some serious observations. A solid performance. Chrisfiore
Comment Written 27-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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Thank you Chris.
Comment from Oatmeal
Justin Chopin,
I feel decrepit myself sometimes. It is scary because I never thought that I would live this long. (On 9-11 I will turn 49) I am very lucky to still be here. LOL
The theme was cute. The artwork complemented your words. The flow was smooth.
There was no SPAG.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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Justin Chopin,
I feel decrepit myself sometimes. It is scary because I never thought that I would live this long. (On 9-11 I will turn 49) I am very lucky to still be here. LOL
The theme was cute. The artwork complemented your words. The flow was smooth.
There was no SPAG.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 27-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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Thank you Oatmeal. Look forward to seeing you again as well.
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Justin,
You are a wonderful writer!
Love you,
Camille
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Thanks Camille.
Comment from Haggard
This piece does well in portraying one's lack in good fortune. Someone who has had everything taken from them (land, health, lifetsyle). I consider that a lot of people will enjoy the fascinating read, like I just did.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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This piece does well in portraying one's lack in good fortune. Someone who has had everything taken from them (land, health, lifetsyle). I consider that a lot of people will enjoy the fascinating read, like I just did.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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Thank you Haggard.
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a well done poem about the artwork shown. It flows well and the repetitiion makes the woman seem older and you feelings about her impending death stronger. It is sad that any one has to live such a horrible life and die without, it seems, any happiness.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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This is a well done poem about the artwork shown. It flows well and the repetitiion makes the woman seem older and you feelings about her impending death stronger. It is sad that any one has to live such a horrible life and die without, it seems, any happiness.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 27-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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Thank you poet.
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You're welcome, Justin.
dragonpoet