Whats the Diffrence
diffence between men and women4 total reviews
Comment from Linda England Bonam
I liked your poem. It had alot of good points in it. I believe you should have entered it as just a general poem, rather than 5-7-5, because that isn't what you wrote. But, I still loved the message and the points you made in it were all legit. And welcome to FanStory, my friend. I see that you recently joined. ( I joined in Feb. and have learned alot since I first began. The people on here are
very helpful, and nice. I am going to become your first fan so that I will know when you post something new, they will notify me. Ok???
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2011
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I liked your poem. It had alot of good points in it. I believe you should have entered it as just a general poem, rather than 5-7-5, because that isn't what you wrote. But, I still loved the message and the points you made in it were all legit. And welcome to FanStory, my friend. I see that you recently joined. ( I joined in Feb. and have learned alot since I first began. The people on here are
very helpful, and nice. I am going to become your first fan so that I will know when you post something new, they will notify me. Ok???
Comment Written 18-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2011
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Thank you I'm looking foward to the helpful reviews because I'm in the begining stages of my writing and I will be posting somthing soon!
Comment from smudge
There must be some mistake with this poem, it says it is a 5-7-5 poetry competition entry, which is three lines long 5-7-5 syllables respectively. The poem itself has a good subject. Some of the lines would be better joined. You talk about the difference between men not men and women.
What is the difference between women and men?
Their emotional pools are shallow
Women start the day thinking about tomorrow
What foods to cook, what clothes to wear,
How to pin and wear there hair
Just a suggestion. Nice sentiments. God bless.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2011
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There must be some mistake with this poem, it says it is a 5-7-5 poetry competition entry, which is three lines long 5-7-5 syllables respectively. The poem itself has a good subject. Some of the lines would be better joined. You talk about the difference between men not men and women.
What is the difference between women and men?
Their emotional pools are shallow
Women start the day thinking about tomorrow
What foods to cook, what clothes to wear,
How to pin and wear there hair
Just a suggestion. Nice sentiments. God bless.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2011
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so sorry to disapoint its been years since i tried writing poerty i forgot all the rules and i didnt read the 5-7-5 sorry i was so worried about feed back i droped the ball.thank you for reviewing my poem anyway
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Good is still good. Just started at this. Not sure when the competition ends but you can always save your poem and go into edit and do a 5-7-5 as it will be disqualified
Comment from RileyBond
Haha...I like the last line of the poem. However, I am a bit confused. It says it's a 5-7-5 poem, but you have lines with 4, 9, etc. Is it supposed to in fact be 5-7-5? Also, the first line says, "The different between men is their emotional pools are shallow". Did you mean to say, "the different between men and WOMEN is,"? The second line talks about men's emotions, but doesn't lead anywhere. You abruptly switch topics and then talk about women's habits and then men's habits. But you never compare and contrast the differences of this emotional pool. Overall, the second part of the poem flows better and makes much more sense than the first half. If you address those discrepancies in the beginning, and focus on what format it's supposed to be in, you will have a great piece of poetry!
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2011
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Haha...I like the last line of the poem. However, I am a bit confused. It says it's a 5-7-5 poem, but you have lines with 4, 9, etc. Is it supposed to in fact be 5-7-5? Also, the first line says, "The different between men is their emotional pools are shallow". Did you mean to say, "the different between men and WOMEN is,"? The second line talks about men's emotions, but doesn't lead anywhere. You abruptly switch topics and then talk about women's habits and then men's habits. But you never compare and contrast the differences of this emotional pool. Overall, the second part of the poem flows better and makes much more sense than the first half. If you address those discrepancies in the beginning, and focus on what format it's supposed to be in, you will have a great piece of poetry!
Comment Written 10-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2011
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Thank you for taking the time to read my poem i was trying to write it so fast i kinda lost focus thanks again
Comment from donette1914
well i realy liked your poem! whats the diffrence, very talented, you seemed to know a lot about men and woman, well one thing, it's cheaper to keep her, if you have kids, just kidding! very well done, good job!!!
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2011
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well i realy liked your poem! whats the diffrence, very talented, you seemed to know a lot about men and woman, well one thing, it's cheaper to keep her, if you have kids, just kidding! very well done, good job!!!
Comment Written 10-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2011
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Thank you so much for taking the time to review my poem eventhough I made some big mistakes
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i like it just the way you wrote it
