Reviews from

Pappa's Memories and Ramblings

Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Billion Dollar Blunder"
Poems, Rants, Short Stories and Ramblings

6 total reviews 
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It's late and I'm tired, but this line just doesn't make much sense to me:

While from Mans capital's evil deeds increase to spout,

Otherwise this poem clearly states your views clearly and has good strong rhymes!!! Debbie

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 13-Jul-2011
    Thank you for the review
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Although this is well
written and you do mention
God and ask at the end
how can anyone doubt,
I didn't feel the piece
was actually in Praise of
God... which is what the
contest is all about.

Good luck to you, my friend.

Margaret

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 13-Jul-2011
    Thank you for the review
Comment from Mara del Mar
Excellent
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A poem is well expressed, with a strong message of protest and denunciation, as well as a call to sanity of human beings before its imminent destruction. With what is spent in the arms race would solve many problems of humanity. Congratulations, a great job.


 Comment Written 10-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 10-Jul-2011
    Thank you so much for the review
Comment from katinka
Excellent
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Some of this is very good. In the first stanza I would leave off the last sentence, repetitious 'blunder'.
The smell in your 'snout' doesn't do it for me, you can do better. All in all well done.

 Comment Written 10-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 10-Jul-2011
    Thank you
Comment from Just2Write
Excellent
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All will turn out as it should. Man has been battling the demon within since the day before he was turned out of the garden. Can he find peace and serenity? Perhaps - but no war will win him that prize. No battle, save the one to quell his ambitions to conquer another.

I do believe, as you do that nature is in rebellion. The quakes and volcanes are not caused by man. (At least I don't think so) but the hurricanes, floods and much of the melt-down are.

I hope we wake up real soon, or there will be nothing to wke up to.
Your poem does much to make us think about what the heck we are doing to ourselves. A good place to start, would be to stop fighting apart for power and to starting fighting together for peace.

 Comment Written 10-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 10-Jul-2011
    Thank you for the review
Comment from The Stranger
Excellent
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war is a crime perpetrated by corrupt politicians and dictatorships, the usual reason for hostilities is the lure of the "black gold"-oil

 Comment Written 10-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 10-Jul-2011
    Thanks for the review