Sadness
Capturing a lost heart.6 total reviews
Comment from Kevin C
This is a very good write. I like the words you choose and the emotions you show in so few words. You form is excellent and I can relate with what you write. The only thing is some artwork would add to you poem. Nicely written.
reply by the author on 18-May-2011
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This is a very good write. I like the words you choose and the emotions you show in so few words. You form is excellent and I can relate with what you write. The only thing is some artwork would add to you poem. Nicely written.
Comment Written 17-May-2011
reply by the author on 18-May-2011
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thank you very much for your reply.
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i am very glad that you enjoyed my piece.
Comment from WiggleJavelin
I like it, the beginning seems like total despair, but the end suggests you still have enough left in you to beg for salvation. I've been there, so it feels pretty accurate.
reply by the author on 16-May-2011
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I like it, the beginning seems like total despair, but the end suggests you still have enough left in you to beg for salvation. I've been there, so it feels pretty accurate.
Comment Written 16-May-2011
reply by the author on 16-May-2011
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thank you very much for your comment, i like to remember that no matter how dark life gets there is always light at the end of the tunnel.
Comment from adewpearl
staceyjayne, your poem is in excellent 5/7/5 form.
You use this form to express the feelings of loss and sorry at that loss most compellingly. You contrast visually the darkness of sorrow and the light of love/hope. Brooke
reply by the author on 16-May-2011
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staceyjayne, your poem is in excellent 5/7/5 form.
You use this form to express the feelings of loss and sorry at that loss most compellingly. You contrast visually the darkness of sorrow and the light of love/hope. Brooke
Comment Written 16-May-2011
reply by the author on 16-May-2011
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Thank you Brooke. I appreciate he
ing how you and others interperate the poem. I have been surprised i must admit by the amount of people that liked it.
Comment from londiscarpenter
I enjoyed reading Sadness by staceyjayne.
There is little I could suggest to improve on except I would like to see the first line end with a period since it is a complete sentence and the second line begin with a capitol I. If that is not done then replace the comma at the end of the first line with a semi colon. It is a simple fix but would go a long way to improve the writing at the only place where I can see the reader might be distracted. Because this is so easily fixed and because I really like the read I think the poem deserved four stars.
reply by the author on 15-May-2011
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I enjoyed reading Sadness by staceyjayne.
There is little I could suggest to improve on except I would like to see the first line end with a period since it is a complete sentence and the second line begin with a capitol I. If that is not done then replace the comma at the end of the first line with a semi colon. It is a simple fix but would go a long way to improve the writing at the only place where I can see the reader might be distracted. Because this is so easily fixed and because I really like the read I think the poem deserved four stars.
Comment Written 15-May-2011
reply by the author on 15-May-2011
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Thank you for your advice i will try to remember it in future.
Comment from Espresso momma
i see no light at the end. I suggest you:
(I see no light at the end.)
This is a clear definition of darkness when one is depressed and feeling down. In truth, color is even lost from their view at times. Thank you and best wishes.
reply by the author on 15-May-2011
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i see no light at the end. I suggest you:
(I see no light at the end.)
This is a clear definition of darkness when one is depressed and feeling down. In truth, color is even lost from their view at times. Thank you and best wishes.
Comment Written 15-May-2011
reply by the author on 15-May-2011
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Thank you for your comments.
Comment from quashdog
Darkness is symbolic of Satan and the light is symbolic of God. We are always looking for the light for it is our natural tendency to seek God no matter how many times we sin.
reply by the author on 15-May-2011
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Darkness is symbolic of Satan and the light is symbolic of God. We are always looking for the light for it is our natural tendency to seek God no matter how many times we sin.
Comment Written 15-May-2011
reply by the author on 15-May-2011
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Thank you for your comments
