The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "An Unexpected U-Turn"A family learns their father is a serial killer
30 total reviews
Comment from Readywriter52
This is an interesting chapter. James is very inpatient waiting for Mac and Mr. Hurley greet each other and get the pleasantries out of the way. He wants to hear what's in the letter. He learned that his father and grandfather killed women. It looked like his grandfather was trying to get his father to come home by blackmailing him.
reply by the author on 15-May-2011
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This is an interesting chapter. James is very inpatient waiting for Mac and Mr. Hurley greet each other and get the pleasantries out of the way. He wants to hear what's in the letter. He learned that his father and grandfather killed women. It looked like his grandfather was trying to get his father to come home by blackmailing him.
Comment Written 14-May-2011
reply by the author on 15-May-2011
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Thank you. I am pleased you liked this one.
Comment from moyramouse
You created a wonderful feeling of frustration at the beginning of this post, we identified strongly with James as Mac and Mr Hurley chatted and wasted time when all James wanted was to know what was in the letters. Mac's news confirmed what James already knew from what his mum had told him. The first letter intimates that James' father had started killing much earlier, together with his father, but when he left home he never contacted his father or replied to his letters. He gave James' grandma the notes and map of where everyone was buried to be given to the police if anything happened to him. It is highly likely that James' dad has killed them all. Then Mac decides not to open the second letter until forensics have had a look at it. What frustration! Very exciting post, Smurphgirl. xxmouse
reply by the author on 14-May-2011
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You created a wonderful feeling of frustration at the beginning of this post, we identified strongly with James as Mac and Mr Hurley chatted and wasted time when all James wanted was to know what was in the letters. Mac's news confirmed what James already knew from what his mum had told him. The first letter intimates that James' father had started killing much earlier, together with his father, but when he left home he never contacted his father or replied to his letters. He gave James' grandma the notes and map of where everyone was buried to be given to the police if anything happened to him. It is highly likely that James' dad has killed them all. Then Mac decides not to open the second letter until forensics have had a look at it. What frustration! Very exciting post, Smurphgirl. xxmouse
Comment Written 14-May-2011
reply by the author on 14-May-2011
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I am so pleased you found this chapter exciting. I was a bit worried it may be too technical.
Comment from raw form
Interesting twist to the story, I can only wonder what will come next? I dig the writing and how the characters are always being thrown for a loop it just makes for good reading. See you next chapter.
reply by the author on 14-May-2011
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Interesting twist to the story, I can only wonder what will come next? I dig the writing and how the characters are always being thrown for a loop it just makes for good reading. See you next chapter.
Comment Written 14-May-2011
reply by the author on 14-May-2011
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Thanks so much.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Wow, this changes everything. So James's father killed his own father. That's horrid. I wonder how many other's he's killed.
Beginning to sound like a robot, Mac continued. (comma)
reply by the author on 14-May-2011
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Wow, this changes everything. So James's father killed his own father. That's horrid. I wonder how many other's he's killed.
Beginning to sound like a robot, Mac continued. (comma)
Comment Written 14-May-2011
reply by the author on 14-May-2011
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I am glad you liked this one and thanks so much for catching the spag.
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did you do any radiation therapy and if you did, did you find anything that relieved the pain
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Yes, I did have radiation and although I experienced pain, I was very careful NOT to use any soap, deodorant or anything that left a residue on the skin. It helped but I still needed a prescription to help with the pain. It didn't take it away completely but it helped a little. The worst side effect I had with radiation was the debilitating exhaustion I felt. Blinking was an effort and wore me out. To be honest, I found radiation far more difficult than chemo, which I didn't much care for either. I wish I could give you a magical cure, but sadly, I really don't know of one. Are you in a lot of pain? How long do you have to have radiation? I had it five times in one week, then once a week for three weeks the first time. The second time It was more intense and a lot longer.
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I'm posting a cancer update maybe tonight and maybe tomorrow. I'm not sure. I have it 5 days for 6 weeks. I only have three treatments left. with Chemo I was fatigued, but never in pain.
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The opposite for me.Chemo made me so sick I developed ulcers in my mouth and throat. They were excruciating and made both breathing and eating very painful. I also developed severe muscle contractions and for several months required a wheelchair to get around. Now that was painful! Strange how the side effects of treatments vary depending upon the specific medication and patient.
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every person is different. they have new meds now that helps with the side-effects
Comment from CALLAHANMR
This chapter just blows me away. I'd give anything to be able to write this kind of emotional intensity. The dialogue and your way of presenting it, even your deliberate use of cliche is flawless. And the little is a kick in the gut. Just a few little nits. Long lost is a compound adjective so should be long-lost. nine-year-old. No hyphens. Five-years ago. No hyphens. a hundred miles an hour. No hyphens. I might put a few more contractions in some of the dialogue and take out a few ly adverbs such as impatiently waited, but that is personal taste and not important. I am fascinated about where these monsters come from. Is it born in them or does something make them that way? Or is it a combination of both? If they are born that way, do they have a choice? If they don't have a choice are they a force of nature, like cyclones and earthquakes? What then is the nature of evil? Everyone does something evil at one time or another, so where is the line crossed? My favorite writer for doing this type of thing is the late John D. MacDonald. You do it as well as he did. Best wishes, Marilyn
reply by the author on 13-May-2011
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This chapter just blows me away. I'd give anything to be able to write this kind of emotional intensity. The dialogue and your way of presenting it, even your deliberate use of cliche is flawless. And the little is a kick in the gut. Just a few little nits. Long lost is a compound adjective so should be long-lost. nine-year-old. No hyphens. Five-years ago. No hyphens. a hundred miles an hour. No hyphens. I might put a few more contractions in some of the dialogue and take out a few ly adverbs such as impatiently waited, but that is personal taste and not important. I am fascinated about where these monsters come from. Is it born in them or does something make them that way? Or is it a combination of both? If they are born that way, do they have a choice? If they don't have a choice are they a force of nature, like cyclones and earthquakes? What then is the nature of evil? Everyone does something evil at one time or another, so where is the line crossed? My favorite writer for doing this type of thing is the late John D. MacDonald. You do it as well as he did. Best wishes, Marilyn
Comment Written 13-May-2011
reply by the author on 13-May-2011
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The majority of serial killers are created by physical, sexual, and psychological abuse. Some have been diagnosed with a frontal lobe disorder (the part of the brain that monitors impulse control issues, anger, and obsessive disorders. As far as right and wrong are concerned, these are learned behaviors. Sociopaths have a psychological condition that prevents them from caring about anyone other then themselves but it does not mean they do not know the difference between right and wrong, they just don't care. The percentage of killers that fall into this category is actually unknown since it has only been recently identified. But the number of killers that have been subjected to severe abuse is quite high. Again, it does not mean they don't know right from wrong. I personally do not believe a person is born bad. People like Manson, Ted Bundy, The Hill Side Strangler and so on all had emotional trauma in their childhoods that just screwed them up. Sounds a bit over simplified, but that is pretty much it in a nutshell. There is no evidence whatsoever that it can be passed on from parent to child, unless the parent continues the abuse that he or she experienced. There is no proof at this time that there is a 'killer' gene lurking in someone waiting to be passed on. Probably more than you wanted to know, but I have researched this so much, I feel like a walking encyclopedia on the subject. There are many who disagree with me. All that said thank you so much for the awesome 6 stars and catching the spags, I sincerely appreciate it.
Comment from RebelRose
Man, that letter was a shocker. So, it was a father and son team killing the girls? Evil breeds evil. This is a great chapter. Very revealing.
reply by the author on 13-May-2011
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Man, that letter was a shocker. So, it was a father and son team killing the girls? Evil breeds evil. This is a great chapter. Very revealing.
Comment Written 13-May-2011
reply by the author on 13-May-2011
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Not exactly. The father and son apparently killed young girls when Dad still lived at home more than twenty years ago. Dad left, but continued with his killing spree. Hope that makes sense...if not, let me know.
Comment from Kathryn Varuzza
Hi,
I think it's clear.
Great chapter.
Oh, I wanted them to read the other letter!
Great descriptions.
Great dialogue.
Good way to end the chapter, leaving us hanging like that!
Katie
reply by the author on 13-May-2011
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Hi,
I think it's clear.
Great chapter.
Oh, I wanted them to read the other letter!
Great descriptions.
Great dialogue.
Good way to end the chapter, leaving us hanging like that!
Katie
Comment Written 13-May-2011
reply by the author on 13-May-2011
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Thanks so much. I am thrilled you liked this one.
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You're welcome.
Katie
Comment from axelbeariter
I settled for a glass of ice water hoping it would put out the anxiety-induced fire raging in my stomach; it didn't./Works better for an 18-year-old.----"You mean like what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?" My attempt at humor was not well received./perfect usage of a cliche----"You mean like what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?" My attempt at humor was not well received.
"Damn it, James. I am serious. If anyone and I do mean anyone, knew I was discussing classified information with you, it could potentially blow the case we are trying to build against your father, out of the water."
Clearly the time for jokes and sarcasm-x- had passed./Put dueling cliches where the x is to indicate you are aware you have used two cliches in adjacent paragraphs./ An icy shiver raced up my spine knowing I was only nine-years old in 2002./This might sound smoother: Knowing I was only nine-years old in 2002, an icy shiver raced up my spine.----My heart was racing again/Use an active voice on this: My heart raced again--Another great and informative one; about character and info.
reply by the author on 13-May-2011
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I settled for a glass of ice water hoping it would put out the anxiety-induced fire raging in my stomach; it didn't./Works better for an 18-year-old.----"You mean like what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?" My attempt at humor was not well received./perfect usage of a cliche----"You mean like what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?" My attempt at humor was not well received.
"Damn it, James. I am serious. If anyone and I do mean anyone, knew I was discussing classified information with you, it could potentially blow the case we are trying to build against your father, out of the water."
Clearly the time for jokes and sarcasm-x- had passed./Put dueling cliches where the x is to indicate you are aware you have used two cliches in adjacent paragraphs./ An icy shiver raced up my spine knowing I was only nine-years old in 2002./This might sound smoother: Knowing I was only nine-years old in 2002, an icy shiver raced up my spine.----My heart was racing again/Use an active voice on this: My heart raced again--Another great and informative one; about character and info.
Comment Written 13-May-2011
reply by the author on 13-May-2011
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Thanks for the suggestions, I like them. I will go back and make the changes.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
I was so pleased to see you'd
posted another chapter, Sasha,
and it was certainly worth
waiting for... a most enjoyable
read... as always.
against your father(,) out of the water
slumpped
slumped
Margaret
reply by the author on 13-May-2011
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I was so pleased to see you'd
posted another chapter, Sasha,
and it was certainly worth
waiting for... a most enjoyable
read... as always.
against your father(,) out of the water
slumpped
slumped
Margaret
Comment Written 13-May-2011
reply by the author on 13-May-2011
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As always, thanks for catching the spags. I am thrilled you found this very dark chapter enjoyable.
Comment from WRITER1
I can understand James fears. What if it runs in the blood and he or his siblings turn out to be murders. I think that would play on me too.
reply by the author on 13-May-2011
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I can understand James fears. What if it runs in the blood and he or his siblings turn out to be murders. I think that would play on me too.
Comment Written 13-May-2011
reply by the author on 13-May-2011
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The good news is that there is no scientific proof that genetics plays any role in offspring developing sociopathic or psychotic behaviors. There are certain brain disorders (usually found in the frontal lobe) that can potentially have genetic repercussions but most serial killers are created environmentally and socially, i.e. child abuse, physical abuse, psychological abuse and so on. James's primary fear is that there will be more victims of father.
