Comment from lancellot

Excellent

This is a interesting mostly narrative. Though we learn that Toby, the main character is poor, the actual subject and circumstances of that poverty are only lightly touched on. We are told in the notes, the time period, not in the story. I think more depth into the subject matter would help.

 Comment Written 27-May-2023

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reply by the author on 27-May-2023

Thank you for the review. You're right. The story should stand alone without relying on the notes. Salaries in the fifties and sixties made it almost impossible for single women to raise children alone. In this case the absentee father was likely not contributing to child support.
Beth

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

This is a well written story that zings with atmosphere and character building. Your dialogue is particularly well done and dear Toby's thoughts and the manner in which he is treated fill you with immediate love and empathy for him. Your text is also clearly laid out with good paragraph spacing. So no complaints here! An enjoyable read. Well done! Debbie

 Comment Written 27-May-2023

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reply by the author on 27-May-2023

Thank you Debbie. I really appreciate the review and your awesome comments. I'm glad you liked it.
Beth

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

Your story was intense and poignant at the same
time, Beth. You did a great job with the dialect.
Your words flowed smoothly with great descriptions.
I like the way the POV of several of the characters
was developed. You gave readers a snapshot of life
for this minority group in a true way.
Thanks for sharing, Jan

 Comment Written 27-May-2023

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reply by the author on 27-May-2023

Thank Jan. I'm glad you feel you got to know their personalities. I really appreciate the review.
Beth

Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

I would have offered you a six, but as I have none left, please accept my congratulations for your interesting and vividly written story, which kept me engrossed from beginning to end. Excellent writing!
Wendy

 Comment Written 27-May-2023

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reply by the author on 27-May-2023

Thank you Wendy. I'm so glad you found it interesting. I appreciate the review and I enjoyed your comments.
Beth

Comment from Tom Horonzy

Excellent

I simply find it fascinating that we lived in the day not far away but further than it seems it to be, yesterday in the nineteen fifties. I lived in a Jewish neighborhood of row homes in the Northeast, and across the street living in identical homes were a block of Negroes, as they were called back then, and as a child played together never knowing they were black until I reached my teens.

 Comment Written 26-May-2023

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reply by the author on 27-May-2023

I'm sure your parents would have informed you of the difference if you'd been from the South where anyone who wasn't southern and white was different. The Jewish kids probably suffered in the south as well but most of their parents had clothing stores and money. Thanks for the review and comments.
Beth

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner

Exceptional

This story is well-told and very dear to my heart as I know just what type of child-care person Miss Berta Mae was. My parents left my baby sister and me with old white woman who was as hard to please as Berta Mae. I was terrified of her.

 Comment Written 26-May-2023

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reply by the author on 27-May-2023

Thank you Carol. Kids of working parents are often subject of obusive sitters and the parents don't realize what the kids may be going though. I really appreciate the six stars.
Beth

Comment from Jim Wile

Excellent

This is a wonderful story, Beth, and I wish I had a 6 left to give you. You made me really feel for this poor little boy who is abused and ignored. Nobody takes the time to play with him or teach him or show him any affection, and it is very sad.

Aside from being bereft of money, he is bereft of virtually everything that a little child needs to grow and prosper. It's so sad, and probably more common than we'd like to think.

Excellent job of writing. Jim

 Comment Written 26-May-2023

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reply by the author on 26-May-2023

Thank you Jim, I appreciate the review. I think this story made everyone feel sad. It is sad when children are born in to situation where they end up suffering.
Beth

Comment from Anne Johnston

Excellent

I like how you have depicted poverty as viewed through the eyes of a child. It is sad how so many children in this world, face situations like this, and can do nothing about it.

 Comment Written 25-May-2023

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reply by the author on 26-May-2023

Thank you Anne. I appreciate the review and comments. Yes, poverty is bad and children seem to be hurt the worst.
Beth

Comment from Jesse James Doty

Excellent

Growing up is hard no matter whether you are poor or rich and it may look easier in adulthood but it gets harder and harder until one day the Lord comes and takes you away to Heaven.
Thanks for not pulling the race card! I only ask that you give all the races and greeds the respect they deserve!
Jesse

 Comment Written 25-May-2023

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reply by the author on 25-May-2023

Thank you for an excellent review. I believe ever human being deserves respect. We are all God's children and he loves all of us. Unfortnately, not all have had equal chances to grow up with a chance for education or plenty of food.

reply by Jesse James Doty on 25-May-2023

I agree completely.

Comment from papa55mike

Exceptional

That story fits every race trapped in poverty. Please check this one line in the first paragraph; ever sat (on) him. Please put the "on" in the line. What a wonderfully written story. Best of luck with your writing!

Have a great day, and God bless.
mike

 Comment Written 25-May-2023

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reply by the author on 25-May-2023

Thank you, Mike. I'm glad you pointed out the missing word. I really appreciate the six stars and the nice review.
Beth