Iambic is the Treachery I Speak
Don't trust the form - it'll fool you!14 total reviews
Comment from Rasp E
Just catching up on some of what I missed. This is smooth the way good bourbon always is. You know? Mmmm, I envy those who can write sonnets. Not a talent I possess.
reply by the author on 16-May-2011
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Just catching up on some of what I missed. This is smooth the way good bourbon always is. You know? Mmmm, I envy those who can write sonnets. Not a talent I possess.
Comment Written 15-May-2011
reply by the author on 16-May-2011
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Erica, I have no doubt you could write a sonnet, but I thank you for the compliment - I've never had my work compared to whisky before, and you've given me a huge smile :-)
Mike
Comment from judy corcoran
lol - as i said before - show off!!!
great write mike, glad i could inspire something :)
'and so the mind arrests the deeper dreams
in favour of the motion of the tongue' - very true
love judy
reply by the author on 10-May-2011
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lol - as i said before - show off!!!
great write mike, glad i could inspire something :)
'and so the mind arrests the deeper dreams
in favour of the motion of the tongue' - very true
love judy
Comment Written 09-May-2011
reply by the author on 10-May-2011
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Thank you, Judy :-). I couldn't resist writing a sonnet about the potential pitfalls of writing sonnets!
Mike
Comment from Maxine Kendall
Oh so very clever!
Just love your tell it like it is Sonnet.
The second stanza is a stand-out for me and is worthy of a six all by itself, but unfortunately it's late on a Friday - need I say more!
Also, love the couplet and totally agree. Without the 'art' of it all, what would writing be? Boring that's what!
Well done.
Maxine x
reply by the author on 08-May-2011
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Oh so very clever!
Just love your tell it like it is Sonnet.
The second stanza is a stand-out for me and is worthy of a six all by itself, but unfortunately it's late on a Friday - need I say more!
Also, love the couplet and totally agree. Without the 'art' of it all, what would writing be? Boring that's what!
Well done.
Maxine x
Comment Written 06-May-2011
reply by the author on 08-May-2011
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Thank you, Maxine :-). I couldn;t resist the thought of writing a sonnet about the perils of writing sonnets!
Mike
Comment from Judian James
I have no sixers for you for a while yet, but this is superb. I love reading your sonnet about writing the perfect sonnet. Well done and smart as well.
"and so the mind arrests the deeper dreams
in favour of the motion of the tongue
that twists around the form to find no seams
and sighs unto the peers it swims among." I loved it!
reply by the author on 08-May-2011
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I have no sixers for you for a while yet, but this is superb. I love reading your sonnet about writing the perfect sonnet. Well done and smart as well.
"and so the mind arrests the deeper dreams
in favour of the motion of the tongue
that twists around the form to find no seams
and sighs unto the peers it swims among." I loved it!
Comment Written 06-May-2011
reply by the author on 08-May-2011
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Thank you, JJ :-). As someone who grudgingly took to form after joining this site, I still like to be irreverent about it. The poetry's in the words for me - form is just another of the tools we employ. I'm so happy you liked it!
Mike
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I agree with you completely but the challenge of forms somehow intrigues me at the same time, and I love a challenge!
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I can;t deny that restriction breeds creativity, and I love finding ways to utilise the characteristics of a form to accentuate the concepts I'm attempting to express.
Mike
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I just bought Sally Yocom's book on Elements and Styles of Poetry. It's really quite amazing. I was shocked at how much like a text book it is and only $14.95. Impressive to say the least. Plus, across from every page describing a form and giving a superb example is a blank page for you to have a go, and write your own. You'd love this book Mike!
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What a great idea for a poetry book! That's like coursework, encouraging you to have a stab at each stage.
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Holy smoking bottle Mike, I loved this! Not exactly sure why it resonated so strongly with me but it damn sure did...love it when that happens... now I've got to go find Judy's lol great work xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 06-May-2011
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Holy smoking bottle Mike, I loved this! Not exactly sure why it resonated so strongly with me but it damn sure did...love it when that happens... now I've got to go find Judy's lol great work xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 05-May-2011
reply by the author on 06-May-2011
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Thank you, my dear :-). I couldn't resist writing an iambic poem about iambic meter not being that great, especially after Judy's poem about trying to find the iambic vibe. I'm thrilled it worked so well for you!
Mike
Comment from adewpearl
iambic/beats, belting/becomes/built - great consonance of B sounds
excellent enjambment from stanza one to two.
Excellent verb choices, and, of course, steady iambic meter.
Strong rhymes - I especially like the pairing of treachery/soliloquy.
What a fascinating look at the poetic process, Mike, and in fine sonnet form :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 06-May-2011
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iambic/beats, belting/becomes/built - great consonance of B sounds
excellent enjambment from stanza one to two.
Excellent verb choices, and, of course, steady iambic meter.
Strong rhymes - I especially like the pairing of treachery/soliloquy.
What a fascinating look at the poetic process, Mike, and in fine sonnet form :-) Brooke
Comment Written 05-May-2011
reply by the author on 06-May-2011
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Thank you, Brooke! Judy had written a poem about trying to write iambic meter, so I couldn't resist writing about how iambics aren't so great, iambically of course! She called me a show-off, lol :-). Guilty as charged ;-/
Mike
Comment from Philip Shin
Sometimes the man can be more blessed for lambic beats. The men have more skill for makiing the neck lace and such a thing. But the women is the symbol for making the lambic beats. The woman work at the lambic factory and the men love to say someday we can meet. Anyway The lambic is for skill and it is kind of sports to race with each other.I hope the woman can win over the skilled man.
reply by the author on 06-May-2011
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Sometimes the man can be more blessed for lambic beats. The men have more skill for makiing the neck lace and such a thing. But the women is the symbol for making the lambic beats. The woman work at the lambic factory and the men love to say someday we can meet. Anyway The lambic is for skill and it is kind of sports to race with each other.I hope the woman can win over the skilled man.
Comment Written 05-May-2011
reply by the author on 06-May-2011
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Thank you, Philip. I'm glad you read so much into my poem :-)
Mike
Comment from Keri353
The picture goes well with the poem. Question: why are the first two paragraphs not in capitol letters but the last two are? I hate to be ignorant about poetry, so I had to ask.
Lines are not forced and story flows very well. Thanks so much for sharing.
reply by the author on 08-May-2011
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The picture goes well with the poem. Question: why are the first two paragraphs not in capitol letters but the last two are? I hate to be ignorant about poetry, so I had to ask.
Lines are not forced and story flows very well. Thanks so much for sharing.
Comment Written 05-May-2011
reply by the author on 08-May-2011
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Thank you, Keri. I write my poems as sentences, with capitals where I start one, rather than opening lines with them, or intentionally not doing so. I guess in poetry it's all a style choice :-)
Mike
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Ah, I see now. That is a great idea :)
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written with good form and good flow, a great job writing this, i am not a master of iambic writing, every time i think i have it i don't so there are a lot of contests i cant' enter
reply by the author on 06-May-2011
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this is very well written with good form and good flow, a great job writing this, i am not a master of iambic writing, every time i think i have it i don't so there are a lot of contests i cant' enter
Comment Written 05-May-2011
reply by the author on 06-May-2011
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I find it's a minset, and once it 'clicks', it can become very difficult to write any other way! Thank you so much for the review :-)
Mike
Comment from Sasha
Iambic, triambic and everything in between completely confuses me. This is both a fascinating, informative, and clever poem. I especially like the last stanza: For meter's only King if art is Queen, and free's the verse combining them unseen...now this I can relate to.
reply by the author on 06-May-2011
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Iambic, triambic and everything in between completely confuses me. This is both a fascinating, informative, and clever poem. I especially like the last stanza: For meter's only King if art is Queen, and free's the verse combining them unseen...now this I can relate to.
Comment Written 05-May-2011
reply by the author on 06-May-2011
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Thank you, my friend :-). The closing couplet pretty much sums up my feelings on poetry. To me, the art must outweigh the craft, otherwise you're drawing a technical schematic and calling it impressionist.
Mike