The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "A Talk With Mom"A family learns their father is a serial killer
34 total reviews
Comment from marcii
A lot of the time when one says things are left unsaid they usually are. Although I can understand how much this would frustrate James.
Marcii
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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A lot of the time when one says things are left unsaid they usually are. Although I can understand how much this would frustrate James.
Marcii
Comment Written 09-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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James's curiosity is his primary motivation. His stubborn nature adds to the problem. Glad you liked this one.
Comment from Showboat
Excellent, Sasha and it's so good to be back in the fray!
This is an excellent chapter that spells out some things that had to go into a short chapter, so the reader will not forget them.
Kudos, m'dear,
Hugs and love,
Gayle
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2011
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Excellent, Sasha and it's so good to be back in the fray!
This is an excellent chapter that spells out some things that had to go into a short chapter, so the reader will not forget them.
Kudos, m'dear,
Hugs and love,
Gayle
Comment Written 07-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2011
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Thanks. Glad you liked this one.
Comment from Aski
You have clearly shown that James is not going to have an easy time getting information out of his mom. Her uncharacteristic drinking is one factor. His need to yell to get cooperation to talk to her alone is another. Also the fact that she is in a different mental space all work for you. I suspect I missed a couple of chapters because James' mom was not near drinking last I read.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2011
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You have clearly shown that James is not going to have an easy time getting information out of his mom. Her uncharacteristic drinking is one factor. His need to yell to get cooperation to talk to her alone is another. Also the fact that she is in a different mental space all work for you. I suspect I missed a couple of chapters because James' mom was not near drinking last I read.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2011
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No, she seldom ever drinks. She is definitely on the edge right now. James has to be careful not to push her too hard. Glad you liked this one.
Comment from Readywriter52
James is insisting that his mother talk about his father. The request seems to disturb her. She might tell James the truth, but it will take a lot of effort on her part.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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James is insisting that his mother talk about his father. The request seems to disturb her. She might tell James the truth, but it will take a lot of effort on her part.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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Yes, it is not going to be an easy task but James is determined. Glad you liked this one.
Comment from axelbeariter
Realizing my hope of getting a good night's sleep before confronting Mom, was not going to happen only added to my already fragile mental state./no comma needed----I ignored Mom. I looked at Charlie/too many I's in that paragraph--suggestion/Ignoring Mom, I looked at...Confused, they looked over at Mom then back at me. Again, I asked them to leave./try--Again, my request was the same----every one else got up and left the room/every one else left the room--economize on wordage. There are other places to fix that way, but I'm going to let you find them--you learn better that way----Mom got up/She got up--the reader knows who you are talking about.----My brain felt like the inside of a metal rock tumbler packed with a hundred questions, each slamming violently against the other turning my usually well organized thoughts into a jumbled pile of chaotic debris./nice word picture----She was visibly shaken./not needed--previous sentence shows her consternation----I knew we were not in the same room./great hook
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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Realizing my hope of getting a good night's sleep before confronting Mom, was not going to happen only added to my already fragile mental state./no comma needed----I ignored Mom. I looked at Charlie/too many I's in that paragraph--suggestion/Ignoring Mom, I looked at...Confused, they looked over at Mom then back at me. Again, I asked them to leave./try--Again, my request was the same----every one else got up and left the room/every one else left the room--economize on wordage. There are other places to fix that way, but I'm going to let you find them--you learn better that way----Mom got up/She got up--the reader knows who you are talking about.----My brain felt like the inside of a metal rock tumbler packed with a hundred questions, each slamming violently against the other turning my usually well organized thoughts into a jumbled pile of chaotic debris./nice word picture----She was visibly shaken./not needed--previous sentence shows her consternation----I knew we were not in the same room./great hook
Comment Written 06-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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Tanks for the suggestions. I will go back over this and see what I can do to fix them. Glad you liked this chapter.
Comment from MaryMeadid
Hi Smurphgirl- The Crack in the Mirror- this is my first read and I loved what I read. Really good job. Superb characters and how you described reactions, etc. Well written. As an aside, how did you get your pen name- Smurphgirl and have you ever considered changing it? I only ask because I have seen your name several times while perusing stories, but have never stopped in- my loss, I see that now. But honestly, the name just didn't draw me in! You are a gifted writer and regardless to what you call yourself, I will be back.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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Hi Smurphgirl- The Crack in the Mirror- this is my first read and I loved what I read. Really good job. Superb characters and how you described reactions, etc. Well written. As an aside, how did you get your pen name- Smurphgirl and have you ever considered changing it? I only ask because I have seen your name several times while perusing stories, but have never stopped in- my loss, I see that now. But honestly, the name just didn't draw me in! You are a gifted writer and regardless to what you call yourself, I will be back.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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My mother's first name was Shirley and her last was Murphy so I just came up with Smurphgirl, and yes I have considered changing it but can't seem to come up with anything I like. I am thrilled you liked this chapter especially knowing you have not read previous ones. I sincerely appreciate the 6 stars too.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Smurph,
This chapter intrigues me and I too am wondering about the truth of James' father. I know he was a killer, but why? Will James inherit his evil ways? What was going through his mom's head when he asked her to tell her more? Yikes so many questions and I know I have to wait for the next chapter so hurry up! This is a great chapter and your words put me in kitchen chair watching the events take place. Well done...blessings, chey
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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Hi Smurph,
This chapter intrigues me and I too am wondering about the truth of James' father. I know he was a killer, but why? Will James inherit his evil ways? What was going through his mom's head when he asked her to tell her more? Yikes so many questions and I know I have to wait for the next chapter so hurry up! This is a great chapter and your words put me in kitchen chair watching the events take place. Well done...blessings, chey
Comment Written 06-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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Thank you so very much. I am thrilled you enjoyed this one.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
James may have pushed Mom too far. I am curious what the big secret about Dad's childhood. I have know many people who came from horrible childhoods and weren't serial killers. This is another great post.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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James may have pushed Mom too far. I am curious what the big secret about Dad's childhood. I have know many people who came from horrible childhoods and weren't serial killers. This is another great post.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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Yes, you are right. Most people who come from horrible/abusive backgrounds do not become serial killers,this most definitely is not the norm. However, most (not all)serial killers do come from abusive backgrounds. Good observation. I am pleased you liked this chapter.
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very true
Comment from Joan E.
(On my screen, your "Background" notes were cut off at "shor".) I particularly admired your characterization of the mother as not being in the "same room," and your "metal rock tumbler" (which I did not remember from the first version) is choice. -Joan
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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(On my screen, your "Background" notes were cut off at "shor".) I particularly admired your characterization of the mother as not being in the "same room," and your "metal rock tumbler" (which I did not remember from the first version) is choice. -Joan
Comment Written 06-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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Having been in a rock tumble a few times myself, I thought it was a great way to describe the massive confusion poor James felt. Glad you liked this one.
Comment from lola29
Your writing always places me in the scene with your characters, and I hope someday I can learn that art. I can't wait to find out what James' mother is concealing from him. Great chapter!
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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Your writing always places me in the scene with your characters, and I hope someday I can learn that art. I can't wait to find out what James' mother is concealing from him. Great chapter!
Comment Written 06-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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Thanks. I hope to post the next chapter sometime today.