The Glass Cat Eye
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "The Meeting of the Hearts"Talking to the dead has its consequences
34 total reviews
Comment from Patrates
hi amahra, sorry i just got the time now to check your work. It's very interesting. Im gonna bookmark it so I can read it from the beginning when I got the time. The story seems to have a romance, suspense and drama.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2011
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hi amahra, sorry i just got the time now to check your work. It's very interesting. Im gonna bookmark it so I can read it from the beginning when I got the time. The story seems to have a romance, suspense and drama.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2011
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Thank you; but on this site, the rules are when you give a writer 4 stars it means their work needs improving and you're suppose to tell them what it is. You didn't tell me what was wrong.
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hi, i just found time now to reply. i clicked on the wrong star coz i often do this on my iphone. i meant to give this a 5 star. sorry bout that.
Comment from Paradox Tremors
If you don't try to publish this as a novel, then you should try doing it as a novella--well written as usual. In some of these chapters (if you do a redraft) I think you can put in more details into your story. Doc and Steven makes a good team. It will be interesting to see if they both survive--if they do, this would be the perfect start-up to a series of books dealing with investigating of the paranormal and all that stuff (just a thought). You're a natural at this my friend.
reply by the author on 29-May-2011
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If you don't try to publish this as a novel, then you should try doing it as a novella--well written as usual. In some of these chapters (if you do a redraft) I think you can put in more details into your story. Doc and Steven makes a good team. It will be interesting to see if they both survive--if they do, this would be the perfect start-up to a series of books dealing with investigating of the paranormal and all that stuff (just a thought). You're a natural at this my friend.
Comment Written 29-May-2011
reply by the author on 29-May-2011
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You know what! I was feeling the same thing. I have fallen in loved with my characters and I was thinking off doing just that. I really love the relationship that I am trying to develop between Doc and Steven. But I need to give Steven and Esther more background information. But thanks, I agree with you.
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That's what follow-up stories are for, to give more information about the characters and what makes them tick. Just wait till (if its not already happening) the stories seems to write themselves out and your characters stops you in the middle of a scene to tell you they wouldn't be doing what you're writing out (I know, sounds crazy but that's what happens when I write about "Heather"). Anyway, its not often when a writer feels close to their character and want to write more about them. I can't wait to read more about, Doc, Steven, and Esther.
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Hey, I haven't had that happen yet; a character stopping me in the middle of a scene and saying they wouldn't do that. Wow, you are a writer. lol I've got to get where you are. lol
Comment from MacNizzle
I reached chapter 6 without even realizing it! The story plot is great so far and has got me hooked. Your characters are real and clear. There are a few things that puzzle me. I am not clear why Steven didn't want to get the heck out of Reece's house when he woke up there. The other is that the ends of a few of the chapters seem to be abbreviated. I do understand if you did this on purpose for FS reader's sake to shorten the chapters for easy reading, in which case, it is a pretty good idea. I just feel like I'm missing out on some of your wonderfully descriptive writing. I think all the chapters could be extended because I do love a fleshed-out story, but that is just my personal preference and something that can always be done later. As is, I think the story is incredibly interesting and appeals to me. I look forward to chapter 7! M:)
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2011
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I reached chapter 6 without even realizing it! The story plot is great so far and has got me hooked. Your characters are real and clear. There are a few things that puzzle me. I am not clear why Steven didn't want to get the heck out of Reece's house when he woke up there. The other is that the ends of a few of the chapters seem to be abbreviated. I do understand if you did this on purpose for FS reader's sake to shorten the chapters for easy reading, in which case, it is a pretty good idea. I just feel like I'm missing out on some of your wonderfully descriptive writing. I think all the chapters could be extended because I do love a fleshed-out story, but that is just my personal preference and something that can always be done later. As is, I think the story is incredibly interesting and appeals to me. I look forward to chapter 7! M:)
Comment Written 24-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2011
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. To answer you question: Steven had a good reason for staying. This is my first attempt at a story and it's not going well. My story started out as a short story; but now I realize it's too long for a short story and too short for a novel. I have no idea what to call it when it's finish. But thank you for the high rating.
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You can call it a novella. :)
Comment from Veekz
Sorry for not getting to this in awhile, I've been away and have just read your message and this chapter. I really like how you've included the background info a little more in-depth re Steven and Esther, although my heart broke for him when she did not return his affections. I have a feeling she is hiding something further too... Looking forward to Steven going to the murdered girls town and what he may find!
Fix up's
-blowfish needs a lower case letter
"Ok, see you then ."
-remove extra spaces
He never imaged not spending the rest of his life with her.
-never imagined perhaps?
Pow Wow = pow-wow
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2011
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Sorry for not getting to this in awhile, I've been away and have just read your message and this chapter. I really like how you've included the background info a little more in-depth re Steven and Esther, although my heart broke for him when she did not return his affections. I have a feeling she is hiding something further too... Looking forward to Steven going to the murdered girls town and what he may find!
Fix up's
-blowfish needs a lower case letter
"Ok, see you then ."
-remove extra spaces
He never imaged not spending the rest of his life with her.
-never imagined perhaps?
Pow Wow = pow-wow
Comment Written 20-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2011
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Thank you for you for your comments; and thanks for catching the errors. I made the corrections. It may be a while before the next chapter. I'm glad you liked this chapter.
Comment from Chuck23
I enjoyed this chapter from "The Glass Cat eye". I thought it was well written. I appreciate that you provide a summary of the previous chapter as a lead in to the next, as I had net yet been following your story. I am looking forward to reading the previous to catch up though, and following this story in the future.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2011
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I enjoyed this chapter from "The Glass Cat eye". I thought it was well written. I appreciate that you provide a summary of the previous chapter as a lead in to the next, as I had net yet been following your story. I am looking forward to reading the previous to catch up though, and following this story in the future.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2011
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Thank you so much. I really appreciate you stopping by and reading. I hope you like the previous chapters as well. It will be a while before it's completed. So take your time a catch up.
Comment from chita
This chapter is well written--you drew me into the story from the very first line-a lot of intrigue and you maintain the readers interest--I am going to have to catchup with the other chapters but you have done a great job and I want to know why Steven wants to get on the first flight--great job.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2011
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This chapter is well written--you drew me into the story from the very first line-a lot of intrigue and you maintain the readers interest--I am going to have to catchup with the other chapters but you have done a great job and I want to know why Steven wants to get on the first flight--great job.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2011
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. This short story thing is harder than I thought. But I'm going to finish it. Thank you again.
Comment from quashdog
Very good chapter, it mixed the drama of the ongoing mystery with the personal feelings of love thatSteven had towards Esther making it multidimensional. I really enjoyed reading from start to finish.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2011
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Very good chapter, it mixed the drama of the ongoing mystery with the personal feelings of love thatSteven had towards Esther making it multidimensional. I really enjoyed reading from start to finish.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2011
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Thank you so much for stopping by. I'm glad you liked it. Boy this book writing is hard.
Comment from Tawnyowl
I thought this was excellent writing. You have and can maintain interest and possess quite good characterization skills namely with your mysterious character Madame Reece. Your telephone dialogue is a good device and you use it skilfully, interpolating it as you do with the main body of text. Your layout is good - plenty of space so it is easy to read. The description of Esther is good and quite sensual and on the whole I found this an involving piece of writing. The artwork chosen was brilliant too !
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2011
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I thought this was excellent writing. You have and can maintain interest and possess quite good characterization skills namely with your mysterious character Madame Reece. Your telephone dialogue is a good device and you use it skilfully, interpolating it as you do with the main body of text. Your layout is good - plenty of space so it is easy to read. The description of Esther is good and quite sensual and on the whole I found this an involving piece of writing. The artwork chosen was brilliant too !
Comment Written 17-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2011
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I thanked you in the message room more thoroughly. But I will repeat one thing and that is I'm quite flattered that you took the time to read and review. I really do appreciate you.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I have given a few suggestions. One of my biggest suggestions, expecially with this long of a post is to post higher. You will get more reviews and therefore more help. Some reviews will be worthless, but others will help. Chose carefully. Many reviewers don't know what they are talking about. You will learn who you can trust.
Staring into his bathroom mirror, (I have been gigged big time for starting sentences with 'ing' endings. It should not be done. I realize once in a while you need to use one in a sentence, but try to use a minimum amount. It is telling not showing and cause the reader to sit on the outside looking in and not part of the story.)
Watch your use of the word 'said'. Again sometimes it's necessary, but you can use an action tag to show action and still let the reader know who's talking.
"Yeah, like you did in Madame's basement," Doc snapped.
"I won't make the same mistakes," he snapped back.
(snapped is used twice in two sentences. Change one of them.)
You used the name Steven a lot. Change it up.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2011
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I have given a few suggestions. One of my biggest suggestions, expecially with this long of a post is to post higher. You will get more reviews and therefore more help. Some reviews will be worthless, but others will help. Chose carefully. Many reviewers don't know what they are talking about. You will learn who you can trust.
Staring into his bathroom mirror, (I have been gigged big time for starting sentences with 'ing' endings. It should not be done. I realize once in a while you need to use one in a sentence, but try to use a minimum amount. It is telling not showing and cause the reader to sit on the outside looking in and not part of the story.)
Watch your use of the word 'said'. Again sometimes it's necessary, but you can use an action tag to show action and still let the reader know who's talking.
"Yeah, like you did in Madame's basement," Doc snapped.
"I won't make the same mistakes," he snapped back.
(snapped is used twice in two sentences. Change one of them.)
You used the name Steven a lot. Change it up.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2011
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Thanks for you review.
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I hope it helps. You have a good story line and great characters. The dialogue worked well. Just a few mechanical errors.
Comment from moyramouse
Poor Stephen, he's in that awful position of loving someone who doesn't love him in the same way. I am sure he will try to be what Esther wants him to be, a friend, but perhaps what is to come ( as I am sure there is ahead) will change her mind. She's clearly deeply involved with Madame Reece and he is very worried about her. He's researched the death of the young girl and is now going to the town, in spite of Doc warning him not to be so stupid. Now he's on his way, hope he took his laptop with him to work on breaking those codes. I just know trouble lies ahead. A great chapter, lots happening and plenty of clues that there are going to be many more twists of the tale. xxmouse
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2011
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Poor Stephen, he's in that awful position of loving someone who doesn't love him in the same way. I am sure he will try to be what Esther wants him to be, a friend, but perhaps what is to come ( as I am sure there is ahead) will change her mind. She's clearly deeply involved with Madame Reece and he is very worried about her. He's researched the death of the young girl and is now going to the town, in spite of Doc warning him not to be so stupid. Now he's on his way, hope he took his laptop with him to work on breaking those codes. I just know trouble lies ahead. A great chapter, lots happening and plenty of clues that there are going to be many more twists of the tale. xxmouse
Comment Written 17-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2011
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Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read and review my latest chapter. This is harder than I thought. This is much harder than poetry. I really appreciate your support. Blessings to you my friend.
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I think you did a great job with this chapter - you told us so much and hinted at lots more to come. I am learning so much from watching and reading all you talented authors on this site. xxmouse