Living Through Bruises
a modified Octogram17 total reviews
Comment from ulster3
Hello Mike.
This is dark and yet has it's truth at the same time. It feels like a jilted lover or even a Dom type. Your poem brings all kinds of extremist thoughts. You have used wonderful form, rhyme and rhythm. This is excellent!!!!!
Fondly, Rebecca
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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Hello Mike.
This is dark and yet has it's truth at the same time. It feels like a jilted lover or even a Dom type. Your poem brings all kinds of extremist thoughts. You have used wonderful form, rhyme and rhythm. This is excellent!!!!!
Fondly, Rebecca
Comment Written 01-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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Thanks, Rebecca :-). I love a slice of darkness, and Gungalo provided the excuse with her club. It felt good, plumbing the depths of human anguish for poetry :-)
Mike
Comment from Ankh
This is a great dark piece that comes across as heart felt and true. The darkest dark is the realistic dark, not the fantasy stuff. Good work here mate :-)~
Seth
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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This is a great dark piece that comes across as heart felt and true. The darkest dark is the realistic dark, not the fantasy stuff. Good work here mate :-)~
Seth
Comment Written 01-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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Thanks, Seth. I'm glad you saw what I was trying to do, focusing on the human aspects that truly generate darkness.
Mike
Comment from kiwigirl2821
This one is a good Dark Entry Mike...it goes to the extreme to get rid of thoughts about someone...that's for sure! I like the depth that you bring to your work. Well done. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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This one is a good Dark Entry Mike...it goes to the extreme to get rid of thoughts about someone...that's for sure! I like the depth that you bring to your work. Well done. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 27-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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Thanks, Kiwi :-). I think it's the lengths people's minds go to that create true horror and darkness - when we break that barrier between what we do in our heads, and our actions in the real world ... that's when the real nastiness starts! Muhahahaaar
Mike ;-)
Comment from jlsavell
Oh, these seeping walls that seem to gloat
with damnable shrieks of drilling dread
Raw intrusive thoughts breed bleak revolt
As soaked of sorrow I fall to bed
Needled thorns wreathe my heart like a vise
Piercing its mortal veins with your deceit
Its bled chambers filled with loathings rise
Deferring its fragile force to love's defeat
Gnashing, thrashing, I convulse in ire
Begging this base betrothal with death
My blackened shell once held my heart's fire
Scourge this plagued mind of sweet crafter's breath
Take the tainted blade, drive it deep and turn
Rip the pain that sleeps inside my door
Toss its rotted flesh, let not this heart return
Cease the abysmal charnal washed ashore
Dulcet dagger, release my anguished core
Haunting my wanton soul never more
could not help myself...
such a great write
jlsavell
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2011
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Oh, these seeping walls that seem to gloat
with damnable shrieks of drilling dread
Raw intrusive thoughts breed bleak revolt
As soaked of sorrow I fall to bed
Needled thorns wreathe my heart like a vise
Piercing its mortal veins with your deceit
Its bled chambers filled with loathings rise
Deferring its fragile force to love's defeat
Gnashing, thrashing, I convulse in ire
Begging this base betrothal with death
My blackened shell once held my heart's fire
Scourge this plagued mind of sweet crafter's breath
Take the tainted blade, drive it deep and turn
Rip the pain that sleeps inside my door
Toss its rotted flesh, let not this heart return
Cease the abysmal charnal washed ashore
Dulcet dagger, release my anguished core
Haunting my wanton soul never more
could not help myself...
such a great write
jlsavell
Comment Written 27-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2011
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Well, I don't know what to say! You've written me a review just as good as my poem, and I loved reading it :-). Thank you so much!
Mike
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no not as good as your poem, just inspired by your poem. I love the dark side of creativity. Hitcher and I use to see who could trump the darkest many moons ago..he has me beat and you are well on your way,,hope I did not offend by writing a poem instead of a review..it is just what your exceptional write inspired.I attempted to give it six shining stars, but I was not allowed.
now you go take on the day
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Not offended in the least; indeed, greatly complimented. Hitch and I used to pat each other's backs over darkness too, but I've been out of practice during his absence. Perhaps it's time for a return!
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oh yes it is
Comment from judy corcoran
awesome write mike
'what wounds unbled
exist for me to split anew
with blackest filthy blades I drew'
and
'In violent anguish beat my skin
to black and blue.
If only so I feel alive'
- i really admire someone who can write dark poetry
- my attempts end up humorous i'm afraid
- this little butterfly can't really describe dark - but i can relate.... must be that i just don't like to think that way...
but i will attempt another, just so as i can belong to the club (i like to belong lol)
so if you come accross one, don't laugh too hard will you...
love judy
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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awesome write mike
'what wounds unbled
exist for me to split anew
with blackest filthy blades I drew'
and
'In violent anguish beat my skin
to black and blue.
If only so I feel alive'
- i really admire someone who can write dark poetry
- my attempts end up humorous i'm afraid
- this little butterfly can't really describe dark - but i can relate.... must be that i just don't like to think that way...
but i will attempt another, just so as i can belong to the club (i like to belong lol)
so if you come accross one, don't laugh too hard will you...
love judy
Comment Written 27-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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Thank you, Judy :-). I do love to write the darker stuff, and try to get to the core of what really is dark, as opposed to simply gory or violent. For this, it was all about the tortures we lay on ourselves when things happen beyond our control.
So glad you liked it, and what an awesome review to read on this sunny Sunday in London :-)
Mike
Comment from Hitcher
Looking forward to reading the dark brilliance that is you and yours Mike, yea mate! I think its time for me to return to the fold and drink from the cup one more time, why not? Loved this slice of darkness mate, an octogram...interesting Form. See you soon mate!
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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Looking forward to reading the dark brilliance that is you and yours Mike, yea mate! I think its time for me to return to the fold and drink from the cup one more time, why not? Loved this slice of darkness mate, an octogram...interesting Form. See you soon mate!
Comment Written 27-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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Hitch, mate! Great to hear from you :-) I see you've posted, too - will have to take a gander. A pure octogram has more rhyming rules, but I wanted to use the flow of it (with the longer lines leading towards the end) without being bound by the other bits.
I haven't written much proper darkness recently, but Gungalo and her 'Dark Club' gave me the perfect excuse to break out the black ink!
Mike
Comment from pigwit
This is suicide speak at it's best. You capture the anger and bitterness very well.
to cull my life, just to deprive
my mind of you.
Without a flame to focus life,
my death will do.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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This is suicide speak at it's best. You capture the anger and bitterness very well.
to cull my life, just to deprive
my mind of you.
Without a flame to focus life,
my death will do.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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Thanks, PW :-). I was determined to hint at the drivers behind the desolation, as well as the anguished emotions themselves.
Mike
Comment from Judian James
Well, I must say this IS a dark one. As always, you're brilliant mind has captured the essence of your intention perfectly ... just a really sad scenario. Well done Mike
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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Well, I must say this IS a dark one. As always, you're brilliant mind has captured the essence of your intention perfectly ... just a really sad scenario. Well done Mike
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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Thank you, JJ. I couldn't resist an opportunity to write dark! It has been a little while :-)
Mike
Comment from Jewell McChesney
Oh wise one, you can even make the dark look more appealing.
What an eloquent way with words you have.
Thanks for sharing this poetic emptying of the soul.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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Oh wise one, you can even make the dark look more appealing.
What an eloquent way with words you have.
Thanks for sharing this poetic emptying of the soul.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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Thank you, my dear :-). I'm glad you enjoyed my foray into shadow.
Mike
Comment from Maxine Kendall
This is indeed an anguished piece. Written in modified Octogram form no less... very creative.
A fitting write for the Dark Club.
I enjoyed this pain filled poem.
Well done.
Maxine x
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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This is indeed an anguished piece. Written in modified Octogram form no less... very creative.
A fitting write for the Dark Club.
I enjoyed this pain filled poem.
Well done.
Maxine x
Comment Written 25-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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Thank you, Maxine :-). I've often struggled with the idea of what is dark, what is horror etc. I can write gore and violence like there's no tomorrow, but I think the true darkness is the thoughts that lead to it...
Mike