The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "The Beginning of a Very Long Night"A family learns their father is a serial killer
30 total reviews
Comment from vickib
I know about panic attacks, good job, I could sense the panic. Also love the waitress and Mac connection. I bet they have cake there. :( XO
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2011
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I know about panic attacks, good job, I could sense the panic. Also love the waitress and Mac connection. I bet they have cake there. :( XO
Comment Written 05-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2011
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Not sure about cake, but I know they have lots of coffee. Glad you liked this one.
Comment from Kathryn Varuzza
Hi,
Great chapter.
You depict emotions so well.
You also make us feel like we are right there.
Good descriptions.
I like the dialogue.
Good way to end the chapter as well.
Katie
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2011
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Hi,
Great chapter.
You depict emotions so well.
You also make us feel like we are right there.
Good descriptions.
I like the dialogue.
Good way to end the chapter as well.
Katie
Comment Written 07-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2011
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Thank you very much. It has been total chaos here since it is Carnaval. Hope to be back to my regular schedule next week.
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You're welcome. I've been super busy as well and am behind..
Katie
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
Sasha, I've been away so long, I don't know if you've changed or added much more to this book. I will have to go back and have a look but it will be tomorrow now as it is two thirty in the morning here and I really need my bed.
This is as riveting as ever. I love your style of writing. The dialogue is so natural and you describe things so well. Looking forward to catching up and reading more too.
Hugs
Kat
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2011
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Sasha, I've been away so long, I don't know if you've changed or added much more to this book. I will have to go back and have a look but it will be tomorrow now as it is two thirty in the morning here and I really need my bed.
This is as riveting as ever. I love your style of writing. The dialogue is so natural and you describe things so well. Looking forward to catching up and reading more too.
Hugs
Kat
Comment Written 03-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2011
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Yes, I have made quite a few changes to the story. I am pleased you enjoyed this chapter. It is good to have you back. We have all missed you.
Comment from whitteron
You are becoming a master at building tension as they ho-hum through the laborious steps of a murder investigation. Each chapters leads a pinch closer with a tiny new clue. YOu go girl.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2011
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You are becoming a master at building tension as they ho-hum through the laborious steps of a murder investigation. Each chapters leads a pinch closer with a tiny new clue. YOu go girl.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2011
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Thanks so much. From now on there things will start moving at a faster pace. I am thrilled you liked this one.
Comment from Showboat
Oh man, don't stop now! Sasha, another excellent chapter. You set us us, got us all primed and left us with a fabulous hook.
Kudos, m'dear, outstanding. If I had a sixer left, you'd have it.
Hugs,
Gayle
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2011
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Oh man, don't stop now! Sasha, another excellent chapter. You set us us, got us all primed and left us with a fabulous hook.
Kudos, m'dear, outstanding. If I had a sixer left, you'd have it.
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment Written 02-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2011
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Thanks so much. I am trilled you liked this one.
Comment from marcii
You have done a good job of describing a anxiety attack, I have them often, obviously not for the reason James had this one.
I have read all your story, I don't know what you mean by ghost, I'll go back an read the last chapter.
Marcii
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2011
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You have done a good job of describing a anxiety attack, I have them often, obviously not for the reason James had this one.
I have read all your story, I don't know what you mean by ghost, I'll go back an read the last chapter.
Marcii
Comment Written 01-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2011
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You aren't supposed to know. At the moment James doesn't even know, he is just describing it as a ghost..something that familiar, but unknown, keeps flashing in his head. For some reason it is frightening him and he doesn't know why.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I joy James sense of humor and intelligence. It sounds like he has a handle on everything, even if he saw a "ghost". I really enjoyed this chapter. You did a great job describing the panic attack.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2011
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I joy James sense of humor and intelligence. It sounds like he has a handle on everything, even if he saw a "ghost". I really enjoyed this chapter. You did a great job describing the panic attack.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2011
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I like his sense of humor too. The 'ghost' will reveal itself soon. Glad you liked this chapter.
Comment from Readywriter52
The stress is taking its toll on James. He is having panic attacks. Mac was able to calm him a little. I wonder if he can answer James' question about his past.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2011
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The stress is taking its toll on James. He is having panic attacks. Mac was able to calm him a little. I wonder if he can answer James' question about his past.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2011
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Thanks for continuing to follow this story. I hope you are enjoying it.
Comment from The Wood Work
And it continues...I like the relationship that has formed with these two and can see where it will become one of the most important in the story. I found no obvious errors. Can't wait for more...
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2011
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And it continues...I like the relationship that has formed with these two and can see where it will become one of the most important in the story. I found no obvious errors. Can't wait for more...
Comment Written 01-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2011
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Thank you very much for your enthusiastic review. Yes, the relationship between James and Mac is going to grow as the story continues.
Comment from missy98writer
Sasha,
chapter twenty is oustanding. There are not enough adjectives to adaquately describe how well this chapter is written. I'm enjoying reading all over again. Your dialogue is perfect with excellent narrative and great descriptive writing. I look forward to reviewing future chapters. I gave a six already or I'd give you a six. Check out Visionarypoet777 and her outstanding poem titled The Fading Song by VisionaryPoet777. Keep on cranking out the fantastic rewrites, my friend.
Love ya. . .Melissa!
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2011
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Sasha,
chapter twenty is oustanding. There are not enough adjectives to adaquately describe how well this chapter is written. I'm enjoying reading all over again. Your dialogue is perfect with excellent narrative and great descriptive writing. I look forward to reviewing future chapters. I gave a six already or I'd give you a six. Check out Visionarypoet777 and her outstanding poem titled The Fading Song by VisionaryPoet777. Keep on cranking out the fantastic rewrites, my friend.
Love ya. . .Melissa!
Comment Written 01-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2011
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Thank you so much for your enthusiastic review. I will definitely check out VisionaryPoet 777's poem.
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Thanks smurphy. I have over $135 in my bank from reading and reviewing. I'm tired. I may take a nap this phenomina has me under the weather. I'm still clogged a little and blowing my nose so hard I feel I'm blowing my buggers out.
Melissa.
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Thanks smurphy. I have over $135 in my bank from reading and reviewing. I'm tired. I may take a nap this phenomina has me under the weather. I'm still clogged a little and blowing my nose so hard I feel I'm blowing my buggers out.
Melissa.