Lust In His Eyes
Free verse10 total reviews
Comment from judysavon
Wow! Very good. This ought to make a man think before he acts! I like how it is not rhyming or following a rhythm. The one rhyme jumps out and is a bit jarring, but over all I think it's great!
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
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Wow! Very good. This ought to make a man think before he acts! I like how it is not rhyming or following a rhythm. The one rhyme jumps out and is a bit jarring, but over all I think it's great!
Comment Written 27-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind review. No rhymes were intentional. Debbie
Comment from deb552
Wow! This is a very powerful poem with very strong images. I almost feel as this were happening to me...thank God it didn't. This is something that does happen to women and I'm sure any woman who's been raped, could relate to the vision you've created. It's a scary but well written free verse poem. deb
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
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Wow! This is a very powerful poem with very strong images. I almost feel as this were happening to me...thank God it didn't. This is something that does happen to women and I'm sure any woman who's been raped, could relate to the vision you've created. It's a scary but well written free verse poem. deb
Comment Written 27-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
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Thanks DEb. I live near a university where date-rape is so common and so ignored. It is an issue I think needs to be brought to the forefront. Debbie
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Believe me I know and you are so right about the need for bringing the subject to the public eye. There was a time when there was not such a thing as "date rape" the blame was put on the girl/woman because she was thought to be "easy" so for her to even tell someone was out of the question. Now at least it's being recognized; not nearly enough though.
Comment from sasil
This would flow better if the rhyme scheme uninterupted in last line--suggest switching to "a man with eyes, filled with lust" so lust rhymes with trust. Otherwise, this is brilliant--love the intriguing artwork--cool composition of unique objects, each a crafted piece on its own. Let me know if you agree with my opinion--not my goal to offend writers, just help improve. Best to you--S.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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This would flow better if the rhyme scheme uninterupted in last line--suggest switching to "a man with eyes, filled with lust" so lust rhymes with trust. Otherwise, this is brilliant--love the intriguing artwork--cool composition of unique objects, each a crafted piece on its own. Let me know if you agree with my opinion--not my goal to offend writers, just help improve. Best to you--S.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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I really hadn't intended this to have a rhyme scheme, but you are right, it might read better that way. Thanks for the kind review. Debbie
Comment from Gungalo
A dark and riveting free verse girl. It emanates fear and now mistrust for sure. Such situations are horrid to remember and something never forgotten. You did great with the telling of this one!!!!
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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A dark and riveting free verse girl. It emanates fear and now mistrust for sure. Such situations are horrid to remember and something never forgotten. You did great with the telling of this one!!!!
Comment Written 26-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much for your kind review. I liked how this one turned out. Debbie
Comment from Paula Andrea Pyle
what a powerfully gripping read. the poet has rendered these lines filled to overflowing with an intense riveting recall of horrendous events.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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what a powerfully gripping read. the poet has rendered these lines filled to overflowing with an intense riveting recall of horrendous events.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind review. Debbie
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yes.
Comment from lola29
The haunting image you carry inside of you must indeed be a heavy burden, and it's easily understand why your trust cannot be given to just anyone. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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The haunting image you carry inside of you must indeed be a heavy burden, and it's easily understand why your trust cannot be given to just anyone. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind review. Debbie
Comment from adewpearl
fought, screamed, kissed, ripped - strong high-impact verbs that convey the degree of lust involved. I like the effectiveness of repetition in uninvited/unwelcome/nowhere to run/nowhere to hide.
A compelling look at the consequences of lust. Brooke
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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fought, screamed, kissed, ripped - strong high-impact verbs that convey the degree of lust involved. I like the effectiveness of repetition in uninvited/unwelcome/nowhere to run/nowhere to hide.
A compelling look at the consequences of lust. Brooke
Comment Written 26-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind review. Debbie
Comment from LorieS
Oo ... strong imagery here about the horrors of rape and a hard lesson learned. Good flow, great imagery. Well done. Keep up the good work :)
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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Oo ... strong imagery here about the horrors of rape and a hard lesson learned. Good flow, great imagery. Well done. Keep up the good work :)
Comment Written 26-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind review. Debbie
Comment from Dave Sargeant
A terrible experience for anyone to go through. Memories, fear, hate. This does often take place and so many get away with it for some reason. Dave.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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A terrible experience for anyone to go through. Memories, fear, hate. This does often take place and so many get away with it for some reason. Dave.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind review. Debbie
Comment from Nomar Chagrin
Whoa, this is stark and looks like it really depicts the devestating feelings sexual abuse must cause. It almost made me sick to my stomach. I visualized the molester just coming in and attacking like he was an animal. Very heart-wrenching poem, DeJohn.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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Whoa, this is stark and looks like it really depicts the devestating feelings sexual abuse must cause. It almost made me sick to my stomach. I visualized the molester just coming in and attacking like he was an animal. Very heart-wrenching poem, DeJohn.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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I hope this wasn't too graphic, but i live near a university where date-rape is a frequent occurrence and is an issue that needs more attention than it gets. Debbie