The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Now What?"A family learns their father is a serial killer
35 total reviews
Comment from raw form
I must say that I really like the perspective of this story and I am totally engrossed in it. I was just telling my wife about it and she thinks its a good one too! you got chops SG and I'm feelin' your story.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2011
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I must say that I really like the perspective of this story and I am totally engrossed in it. I was just telling my wife about it and she thinks its a good one too! you got chops SG and I'm feelin' your story.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2011
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I am so pleased you like this. It is a story that has been spinning in my head for quite some time. I originally wrote 3/4 of it last year but was not happy about the direction it was taking so I pulled it and did a rewrite. I am much happier with it now.
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SG the ones that spin in us are the best ones. I got one of them too and I will get back to it one day when I think I can pull it off but for now I am just going to soak up yours like a sponge. Steve
Comment from marcii
James blurting things out the way he did was better the saying it at a later date.
The more I read the more I feel I have read some of this before.
You need to read and edit the last line.
Marcii
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2011
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James blurting things out the way he did was better the saying it at a later date.
The more I read the more I feel I have read some of this before.
You need to read and edit the last line.
Marcii
Comment Written 21-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2011
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You probably have. This is a rewrite of the original A Crack in the Mirror, now called The Crack in the mirror.
Comment from Cali Girl
Brilliant chapter. Loving this new version of the story. Also enjoying being able to read about the family before the nightmare started, the way they interact with one another and the type of people they are.
Well done.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2011
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Brilliant chapter. Loving this new version of the story. Also enjoying being able to read about the family before the nightmare started, the way they interact with one another and the type of people they are.
Well done.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2011
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Thank you very much. This is why I did the rewrite, I wanted to delve more into each individual family member to provide the reader with more information on who they are and why they react the way they do. I pleased you like this so far.
Comment from Tillom Gliss
My body feels weak as I type this...tears fell in empathy for the family, James, and Mac. I am on the edge of my seat wanting to know more...I am grateful to know I have the next chapter waiting! This is truly a great write!
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2011
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My body feels weak as I type this...tears fell in empathy for the family, James, and Mac. I am on the edge of my seat wanting to know more...I am grateful to know I have the next chapter waiting! This is truly a great write!
Comment Written 14-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much. To know that my words can have that strong an effect is a marvelous compliment.
Comment from Magic Wand
Your story is good, the visuals vivid, and the emotion is strong and realistic. Another excellent chapter, reeling me in with every word.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2011
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Your story is good, the visuals vivid, and the emotion is strong and realistic. Another excellent chapter, reeling me in with every word.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2011
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I am so pleased you like this one.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
What a terrible thing for a family to have to face.
It can ruin all their lives.
Oh(,) that would
or on any other day(,) this would
from the kitchen(,) both Mom and Charlie came
clenched his firsts - fists
Well penned, my friend.
Margaret.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2011
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What a terrible thing for a family to have to face.
It can ruin all their lives.
Oh(,) that would
or on any other day(,) this would
from the kitchen(,) both Mom and Charlie came
clenched his firsts - fists
Well penned, my friend.
Margaret.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2011
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Thank you again for catching the spags. I am so pleased you are enjoying this. I always look forward to your reviews and comments.
Comment from gene_ink
Very good job, Smurfgir. Happy to see this story back. Good descriptions and excitement.
Gene
I'll just have (a, or some milk) glass of milk
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2011
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Very good job, Smurfgir. Happy to see this story back. Good descriptions and excitement.
Gene
I'll just have (a, or some milk) glass of milk
Comment Written 12-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much for the awesome 6 stars, I sincerely appreciate it.
Comment from Aski
The tension held until the police shared their decision to arrest the Dad. In spite of the control that the father exercised Charlie has a surprising support for the father. Him seeing their relations as normal could account for that, but from the outside it still is surprising. I expect the tension between James and the rest of the family will still keep the reader's attention. This is all working out well.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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The tension held until the police shared their decision to arrest the Dad. In spite of the control that the father exercised Charlie has a surprising support for the father. Him seeing their relations as normal could account for that, but from the outside it still is surprising. I expect the tension between James and the rest of the family will still keep the reader's attention. This is all working out well.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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Hearing the words your father is a killer and actually seeing photographs of the victims is the difference between believing and denial. Only James saw what his father did. Until the police knocked on their door, to the rest of the family Dad was just a control freak that never showed any signs of violence. In my research, I learned that denial is the most common reaction when families first learn what their loved one has done. Some never accept the truth, others are left emotionally scarred for life, others develop a hatred that almost destroys them. Far too many families never recover. I am pleased you find this interesting so far.
Comment from fictionwriter
This seems so different from the last time you posted it. So much more impactful this way. I can see the emotions of each character. Great job.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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This seems so different from the last time you posted it. So much more impactful this way. I can see the emotions of each character. Great job.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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Thanks. That is what I was aiming for. More depth of character plus a few more twists to keep you on your toes.
Comment from RKagan
The reaction of the rest of the family is very believable. Although we would like to think that they would care about the dead girls it is obvious why they don't. I think in a disfunctional family they always try to keep secrets and James has broke the code.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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The reaction of the rest of the family is very believable. Although we would like to think that they would care about the dead girls it is obvious why they don't. I think in a disfunctional family they always try to keep secrets and James has broke the code.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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Yes, they are definitely reacting as a dysfunctional family. In my research I learned that most families go into complete denial first. The sad truth is, the family is usually the last to know. There are seldom any signs that would point to their loved one. Most are never openly violent, calm spoken, and highly regarded in the community.