A Girl's Best Friend
A girl phones home31 total reviews
Comment from Jack Canada
Excellent story. The ending made the story, up until then you had no idea where this story was going. I mean the woman was having the worst day of her life. She kept going on and on and you had to wonder where this was going to end, then that fantastic ending. Great stuff. The cow at the deli counter slipping him an extra slice of salami was Priceless.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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Excellent story. The ending made the story, up until then you had no idea where this story was going. I mean the woman was having the worst day of her life. She kept going on and on and you had to wonder where this was going to end, then that fantastic ending. Great stuff. The cow at the deli counter slipping him an extra slice of salami was Priceless.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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Thank you. I'm glad you liked it and that the ending was a surprise.
Comment from writer c
A worthy winner in the Flash Fiction contest!! I like your crisp use of dialogue to tell the story, and I did not see the surprise ending coming. Congratulations.
Carol
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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A worthy winner in the Flash Fiction contest!! I like your crisp use of dialogue to tell the story, and I did not see the surprise ending coming. Congratulations.
Carol
Comment Written 18-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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You're very knind. Thank you for the review and generous score
Comment from sasil
Oh good, grief...the lady doesn't even recognize her own daughter's voice! Great dialog to tell the story, and twisted ending, but this doesn't seem plausible that BOTH callers wouldn't realize the voices didn't match the intended speaker. Perhaps if you'd mentioned the younger lady's mother had been ill of late and voice affected...Congratulations on your winning entry--you kept to the restrictions and definitions of this form and gave an entertaining story.
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reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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Oh good, grief...the lady doesn't even recognize her own daughter's voice! Great dialog to tell the story, and twisted ending, but this doesn't seem plausible that BOTH callers wouldn't realize the voices didn't match the intended speaker. Perhaps if you'd mentioned the younger lady's mother had been ill of late and voice affected...Congratulations on your winning entry--you kept to the restrictions and definitions of this form and gave an entertaining story.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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Thank you. I don't think voices are that distinctive over the phone. One of my brothers has a habit of not introducing himself over the phone, and it can take a while for me to recognise him. Unless I phone him first, of course, because his wife sounds nothing like him. Sorry that didn't work for you, but I thank you for your honest and generous review
Comment from RavenShrift
OMG!! I love this. This is certainly a well-deserved win. I must admit, I did not see that coming. Congratulations to you.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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OMG!! I love this. This is certainly a well-deserved win. I must admit, I did not see that coming. Congratulations to you.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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You're very kind, thank you
Comment from vickib
OMG I loved this so much, loved, loved. I see why it won. You got me hook, line and sinker? Sinker? LOL! Anyway my favorite and coolest description was, "Muriel's shrug travelled down the phone-line in her voice." Now that was a cool visual, along with many other great ones in this funny little conversation with mum. Congrats! I had to review this. XO Vicki Hey I did spell check on my review cause be, I can't spell. It said travelled is one L. Just sayin. LOL!
LOL I just read your profile... We'll spell it like we want. HAHA Never mind, I'm with you.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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OMG I loved this so much, loved, loved. I see why it won. You got me hook, line and sinker? Sinker? LOL! Anyway my favorite and coolest description was, "Muriel's shrug travelled down the phone-line in her voice." Now that was a cool visual, along with many other great ones in this funny little conversation with mum. Congrats! I had to review this. XO Vicki Hey I did spell check on my review cause be, I can't spell. It said travelled is one L. Just sayin. LOL!
LOL I just read your profile... We'll spell it like we want. HAHA Never mind, I'm with you.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your review and generous score. Travelled is spelled incorectly with one L in the States, but in the land of Shakespeare we spell it with two. Two nations divied by a common language and all that. Thanks again. Glad you liked it
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Of course I should have known there is another world out there. LOL!
Comment from jinxiegal
Haha! This is hilarious! I absolutely loved the ending, it was completely unexpected! Your characters are wonderfully realistic and vivid, and so is the dialog. GREAT job, congrats on winning the contest...you deserved it!
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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Haha! This is hilarious! I absolutely loved the ending, it was completely unexpected! Your characters are wonderfully realistic and vivid, and so is the dialog. GREAT job, congrats on winning the contest...you deserved it!
Comment Written 18-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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You're very kind, thank you for your review and generous score
Comment from bhogg
Congratulations on your win. This was a tough contest. I don't know how I missed your story on the first pass. Well written and certainly fulfilled the flash fiction requirement of no wasted words. Nice twist to the end! Regards, Bill
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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Congratulations on your win. This was a tough contest. I don't know how I missed your story on the first pass. Well written and certainly fulfilled the flash fiction requirement of no wasted words. Nice twist to the end! Regards, Bill
Comment Written 18-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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You're very kind. Thanks for your review
Comment from Adri7enne
I loved it, snod! Great rhythm, or pace, I guess. It just read right along and I could just watch it happening. That bit about her having "an -ology, for heaven's sake." And that bit "Muriel checked her hair in the mirror and wondered where her daughter got it from." You do have a knack of creating real, identifiable characters. You do altogether too good a job of getting the women down pat. Amazing! I hope you win this one.
Great stuff! Happy New Year, my friend.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2010
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I loved it, snod! Great rhythm, or pace, I guess. It just read right along and I could just watch it happening. That bit about her having "an -ology, for heaven's sake." And that bit "Muriel checked her hair in the mirror and wondered where her daughter got it from." You do have a knack of creating real, identifiable characters. You do altogether too good a job of getting the women down pat. Amazing! I hope you win this one.
Great stuff! Happy New Year, my friend.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2010
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You're very kind, thank you for your review, generous score and your good wishes. The same and more to you
Comment from WRITER1
This is so good, it was really cleaver how you turned that around. I think I know someone who had something like this actually happened to them. It is kind like the time I got a message from my mother who had past away three months earlier. I hope you had a great holiday.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2010
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This is so good, it was really cleaver how you turned that around. I think I know someone who had something like this actually happened to them. It is kind like the time I got a message from my mother who had past away three months earlier. I hope you had a great holiday.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2010
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Oh wow, that's better than this piece of fiction. It must have freaked you out. Thanks for the review
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actually it really did, my son had turned the tape over in the machine and I can say I almost joined her. lol
Comment from penelope
Ha,ha. That was very good. I think you've stuck to the Flash Fiction requirements, and although I've read something like this before somewhere, I didn't see it coming. 'smirking behind the brisket'--now that was funny. Good luck in the contest and a Happy New Year to you. Penelope
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2010
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Ha,ha. That was very good. I think you've stuck to the Flash Fiction requirements, and although I've read something like this before somewhere, I didn't see it coming. 'smirking behind the brisket'--now that was funny. Good luck in the contest and a Happy New Year to you. Penelope
Comment Written 31-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2010
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You're kind, thank you. and the same to you
