Poison Pen
Moments of bliss for years of grief.6 total reviews
Comment from Gungalo
Ahhh you did well here with those words and what a tale you conjured from them. Awesome done and truly a really fantastic story you.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2010
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Ahhh you did well here with those words and what a tale you conjured from them. Awesome done and truly a really fantastic story you.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2010
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A few words for 12 years of pain. Some things you never really get over, especially a betrayal. Thank you so much my dear; and blessings. Bev
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Oh so very true, so very true. Awesome write you.
Comment from Connie P
Whoa, very intense, but how often this happens. The exciting challenge that is the allure so hard to resist. Good job and I hope you have good luck in the contest.
Connie
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2010
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Whoa, very intense, but how often this happens. The exciting challenge that is the allure so hard to resist. Good job and I hope you have good luck in the contest.
Connie
Comment Written 18-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2010
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Thanks so much Connie P. for your very encouraging words and review. I also appreciate your good wishes.
Comment from shariannegaylee
Good story, a different take on the list than many! However, what rates it only four stars for me is the number of mechanical and usage errors I see in a piece. Right out the gate you have a big one. "The new partner was arrogant" AND "riddled with self-doubt"? That's a contradiction in terms. Arrogant means "conceited, superior, over-confident"! "making his living by the precision of his knife" leave off the -weilding (Unweildy!) "soulmate" is ONE compound word. "Then I talked myself into believing it" (period missing). "and even more," (unnecessary--omit). I do very much like your ending. Work on your mechanics and you'll rate five stars with me!
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2010
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Good story, a different take on the list than many! However, what rates it only four stars for me is the number of mechanical and usage errors I see in a piece. Right out the gate you have a big one. "The new partner was arrogant" AND "riddled with self-doubt"? That's a contradiction in terms. Arrogant means "conceited, superior, over-confident"! "making his living by the precision of his knife" leave off the -weilding (Unweildy!) "soulmate" is ONE compound word. "Then I talked myself into believing it" (period missing). "and even more," (unnecessary--omit). I do very much like your ending. Work on your mechanics and you'll rate five stars with me!
Comment Written 18-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2010
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Thanks so much for your highly tecnical review and good advice. I've changed arrogant, though I will tell you that though it may not make a good write, it was very strangely the paradoxical quality of this man. The knife-wielding was due to his primary skill of being a surgeon and, as you say not necessary. Your suggestions were excellent; and I think they've much improved the piece. Thanks again!
Comment from Sallyo
Nice use of the prompt! The story is neat, succinct and manages to have style, despite its necessary brevity. No typos as far as I could see.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2010
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Nice use of the prompt! The story is neat, succinct and manages to have style, despite its necessary brevity. No typos as far as I could see.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2010
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Thank you Sallyo for taking time to read the poem and send along your excellent review. I appreciate it!
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I thought reviews for these contest stories were masked!
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Well your name shows up on the review; and I was using it to be polite. I noticed other people's names on their reviews also. So I'm not sure what that's all about.
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Not to worry. Maybe it's just the author's name that doesn't show up.
Comment from Matoshka
This is so true. People finding their soul mates outside of marriage and trying to change the other. The result is often like this. I enjoyed reading your story. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2010
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This is so true. People finding their soul mates outside of marriage and trying to change the other. The result is often like this. I enjoyed reading your story. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2010
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Thanks Matoshka for taking time to read and send along your excellent review. I appreciate very much your good wishes.
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You are so very welcome, I enjoyed it. Blessings.
Comment from marym224
An interesting version to this contest, author! And a lot of story wrapped into so few words is commendable. It makes the reader want to know about the circumstances and characters, which is what writing is all about, eh? Good luck in the contest. Merry Christmas!
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2010
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An interesting version to this contest, author! And a lot of story wrapped into so few words is commendable. It makes the reader want to know about the circumstances and characters, which is what writing is all about, eh? Good luck in the contest. Merry Christmas!
Comment Written 17-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2010
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Greetings marym. Thank you for your encouraging review and your good wishes. Happy Yule to you as well!
