Flash Fiction
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "My Angel, I think!"Collection of Flash, Micro, etc.
21 total reviews
Comment from shaedysmom
Good luck with your entry. I enjoyed then ending the most. You could let it stay bleak, but the upbeat ending made it different from the other contest entries I have read. Good Job!
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2011
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Good luck with your entry. I enjoyed then ending the most. You could let it stay bleak, but the upbeat ending made it different from the other contest entries I have read. Good Job!
Comment Written 17-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2011
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My sincere apologies for neglecting to thank you and for copying this message..a house fire on Christmas morning and four surgeries on my honey since November seems to have put the rest of my life on hold..I sincerely appreciate your time and comments...Hope to be back writing soon. Happy New Year and wishing you the best in 2011...Smiles, Carol
Comment from jmdg1954
An excellent use of the required words. Each word was used in a sentence without being forced into action and let the flow of the story continue. "Must use" words is a challenge in itself, no less in flash fiction. Well done...
John
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2011
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An excellent use of the required words. Each word was used in a sentence without being forced into action and let the flow of the story continue. "Must use" words is a challenge in itself, no less in flash fiction. Well done...
John
Comment Written 17-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2011
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My sincere apologies for neglecting to thank you and for copying this message..a house fire on Christmas morning and four surgeries on my honey since November seems to have put the rest of my life on hold..I sincerely appreciate your time and comments...Hope to be back writing soon. Happy New Year and wishing you the best in 2011...Smiles, Carol
Comment from Connie P
Excellent, flawless entry. You've used all of the words effectively and told a good story. I hope you have good luck in the contest.
Connie
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2011
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Excellent, flawless entry. You've used all of the words effectively and told a good story. I hope you have good luck in the contest.
Connie
Comment Written 17-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2011
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My sincere apologies for neglecting to thank you and for copying this message..a house fire on Christmas morning and four surgeries on my honey since November seems to have put the rest of my life on hold..I sincerely appreciate your time and comments...Hope to be back writing soon. Happy New Year and wishing you the best in 2011...Smiles, Carol
Comment from adewpearl
One drink lead to another - led
You've incorporated the contest's required words well and stuck to the contest's strict word limitations in telling your story well - love the ending. I bet he'll wish the drinks had killed him. LOL Brooke :-)
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2011
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One drink lead to another - led
You've incorporated the contest's required words well and stuck to the contest's strict word limitations in telling your story well - love the ending. I bet he'll wish the drinks had killed him. LOL Brooke :-)
Comment Written 17-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2011
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My sincere apologies for neglecting to thank you and for copying this message..a house fire on Christmas morning and four surgeries on my honey since November seems to have put the rest of my life on hold..I sincerely appreciate your time and comments...Hope to be back writing soon. Happy New Year and wishing you the best in 2011...Smiles, Carol
Comment from MizKat
You told a great story using all the required words. I'm sure glad he didn't drive drunk and not make it home. I really enjoyed this.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2011
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You told a great story using all the required words. I'm sure glad he didn't drive drunk and not make it home. I really enjoyed this.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2011
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My sincere apologies for neglecting to thank you and for copying this message..a house fire on Christmas morning and four surgeries on my honey since November seems to have put the rest of my life on hold..I sincerely appreciate your time and comments...Hope to be back writing soon. Happy New Year and wishing you the best in 2011...Smiles, Carol
Comment from sasil
Will the narrator regret his "celebrating" MORE in morning's light? Bet your hat! Good story using story prompt words--I especially liked the dialog. Thanks for italicising the prompt words, instead of just listing them in author notes--in some places, the italics actually enhances the context. Good job!
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2011
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Will the narrator regret his "celebrating" MORE in morning's light? Bet your hat! Good story using story prompt words--I especially liked the dialog. Thanks for italicising the prompt words, instead of just listing them in author notes--in some places, the italics actually enhances the context. Good job!
Comment Written 17-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2011
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My sincere apologies for neglecting to thank you and for copying this message..a house fire on Christmas morning and four surgeries on my honey since November seems to have put the rest of my life on hold..I sincerely appreciate your time and comments...Hope to be back writing soon. Happy New Year and wishing you the best in 2011...Smiles, Carol
Comment from shariannegaylee
Good story, but the italics threw me off until I realized you were trying to highlight the words necessary for the contest. (Do them in BOLD next time. Bold still emphasizes the words but doesn't STRESS them like italics does.) I also think too little was said about the "angel" (sister?). I know this is flash fiction, but the title, which is very catchy, by the way, leads you to believe the story is about the "angel" not about the "fallen." If the title referred to a fallen angel (in this case our football hero) the story that followed would have made more sense. With that in mind, I must say, I really liked your depiction of the boy. So completely typical!
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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2011
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Good story, but the italics threw me off until I realized you were trying to highlight the words necessary for the contest. (Do them in BOLD next time. Bold still emphasizes the words but doesn't STRESS them like italics does.) I also think too little was said about the "angel" (sister?). I know this is flash fiction, but the title, which is very catchy, by the way, leads you to believe the story is about the "angel" not about the "fallen." If the title referred to a fallen angel (in this case our football hero) the story that followed would have made more sense. With that in mind, I must say, I really liked your depiction of the boy. So completely typical!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2011
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My sincere apologies for neglecting to thank you and for copying this message..a house fire on Christmas morning and four surgeries on my honey since November seems to have put the rest of my life on hold..I sincerely appreciate your time and comments...Hope to be back writing soon. Happy New Year and wishing you the best in 2011...Smiles, Carol
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So sorry to hear of the challenges you've faced, but I understand, been there. Hope your honey is better soon, and keep writing, even if it's only in snatches!
Comment from Matoshka
Oh...the hangover the next day from these shots. I could see the celebration and the drinking. The angel being, who knows, sister or brother. Dad's going to kill you. The fear he felt. I enjoyed this so much. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2011
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Oh...the hangover the next day from these shots. I could see the celebration and the drinking. The angel being, who knows, sister or brother. Dad's going to kill you. The fear he felt. I enjoyed this so much. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2011
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My sincere apologies for neglecting to thank you and for copying this message..a house fire on Christmas morning and four surgeries on my honey since November seems to have put the rest of my life on hold..I sincerely appreciate your time and comments...Hope to be back writing soon. Happy New Year and wishing you the best in 2011...Smiles, Carol
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You are so welcome Carol. May the peace of God comfort and be with you all. Blessings.
Comment from dportwood
author,
Oh oh! One miserable drunken night. Applause for accepting the challenge of these cruel contest requirements and handling it remarkable well. Good luck.
Duane
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2011
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author,
Oh oh! One miserable drunken night. Applause for accepting the challenge of these cruel contest requirements and handling it remarkable well. Good luck.
Duane
Comment Written 17-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2011
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My sincere apologies for neglecting to thank you and for copying this message..a house fire on Christmas morning and four surgeries on my honey since November seems to have put the rest of my life on hold..I sincerely appreciate your time and comments...Hope to be back writing soon. Happy New Year and wishing you the best in 2011...Smiles, Carol
Comment from cmj97r
This was a story that everyone can relate to at some point in their life! We've all been there...part of growing up and maybe a little rebelling, I think. You told this really well. I could feel his hangover and that sense of dread of the parents finding out! To the point...great job!
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2011
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This was a story that everyone can relate to at some point in their life! We've all been there...part of growing up and maybe a little rebelling, I think. You told this really well. I could feel his hangover and that sense of dread of the parents finding out! To the point...great job!
Comment Written 17-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2011
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My sincere apologies for neglecting to thank you and for copying this message..a house fire on Christmas morning and four surgeries on my honey since November seems to have put the rest of my life on hold..I sincerely appreciate your time and comments...Hope to be back writing soon. Happy New Year and wishing you the best in 2011...Smiles, Carol
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Oh no apology needed....I'm so sorry that you're going through such a difficult time. I hope the fire did not cause too much damage and that your honey is going to be alright. Take good care. Wishing you the best too in 2011 :) Cindy
