Reviews from

The Glass Cat Eye

Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "The Midnight Seance"
Talking to the dead has its consequences

25 total reviews 
Comment from Dustybones
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I mentioned I was interested in your writings. I saw this one in your profile and took a change. It turned out to be a very good investment of time. I loved it. The content and story are clever. At first it reminded me of a writer known as Carl Hiaasen style of easy going murder with a funny easy going way about his stories. And I may still have that opinion later, I'll have to read on to see what mischief comes with the evil girl. boo!

BTw you do write very good. Way better than most of what I have read here at the fan so far. SIX.

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2013


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2013
    I'm so glad you are enjoying this novella.
Comment from GFDRobin
Excellent
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Amahra, this story caught my interest and I plan to follow other chapters. Good, work, I'm impressed. My grandmother was a firm believer in Ouija boards, and warned me to stay away from them. You've got a good subject matter to work with, good luck on your story.
Robin

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 20-Jul-2011
    Thank you Robin. You'll be glad to know that the novelett is finished. And when you get time, check out all 10 chapters. I plan on having it published and I put it on here for you guys to check it out first. So feel free to make suggestions. I won't make changes on this site because it's to difficult to make major changes on here. But I'll make them on the manuscript I have on "Word." And again, thanks for reading it.
Comment from Paradox Tremors
Excellent
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I thought I had read this before and left a review but the evidence says otherwise; anyway, I think you have started this out perfectly and makes me understand Stephen is just trying to protect a good friend, Esther. Well written--sorry I didn't leave a review the first go-around. I guess I'm just losing my mind.

 Comment Written 29-May-2011


reply by the author on 29-May-2011
    No Tremors, lol. You did this one all ready. I said to take a look at chapter 8. It's very short. Come on, now...I need you for chapter 8. lol lol
reply by Paradox Tremors on 29-May-2011
    okay, I meant the chapter, not the whole story, but I move ahead to chapter 8 and then come back to the ones I missed.
Comment from MacNizzle
Excellent
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I keep trying to read this a keep getting interrupted by life! I finally got the first chapter finished and I have found it fantastic so far. All the elements of great writing are there, and your plot is very intriguing already. A few things I noticed...

50 scent - 50 Cent

In "Six in the Morning..." - 'should get a better understand(ing)'

On to chapter 2. Hopefully, I can get to it today. Cheers and happy writing... M:)

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2011


reply by the author on 17-Apr-2011
    Thanks for reading chapter I lol. But it was chapter 6 I wanted you to read. But take your time. And thank you so much for your review. Blessings to you.
reply by MacNizzle on 17-Apr-2011
    I am surely working my way to chapter 6. I want to get the 'big picture' by starting from the beginning. :)
Comment from Cletus Hardiman
Excellent
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Well, I certainly think it is deserving of the five stars! I enjoyed reading it! You took me into a world of the unknown to me! LOL Thanks! Clete

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2011


reply by the author on 04-Apr-2011
    Thank you clete. Hey I'm surprised you read the long one, but thank you just the same. I'm glad you did.
reply by Cletus Hardiman on 05-Apr-2011
    You are welcome, my dear! I'll get the others eventually! Clete
Comment from Mastery
Excellent
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Hi, Harriett. Well, after reviewing this chapter I can honestly say you are on the right track and a storyteller's. You did say however that these were "very small chapters" That they are not. LOL..

Anyway, I do have a few suggestions if you don't mind, Harriett:

"Steven hated that she never came on to him. But here she was squeezing his hand at the midnight session. Her hand was soft and high yellow. She had long pointed red fingernails that looked freshly painted"

(Your sentence structure here is a tad off, grammatically. And I don't know what "high yellow" means for a hand?

I would rephrase this accordingly: (Even though she had never came on to him, she was now squeezing Stevens hand at the seance. Her hand was ? And the red nails appeared freshly painted at the tips of her long fingers.

"But he was axed by a jealous suitor who later pled guilty to second degree manslaughter and got fifteen years to Life.

("But he was asked (not axed) by a jealous suitor who had spent time in prison.")

" But nothing prepared her for the summer of 88. Katherine had allowed Reece to spend a weekend with this strange looking new kid who seemed to have a fascination with the color black, and whose parents seemed always out of town."

(and whose parents always seemed to be out of town.)

I'm sorry, Harriett, these are but three examples of your main setback which is "sentence construction" which causes bad-sounding grammar.

You should not listen to every comment nmade by every reviewer on this site. Don't make hasty changes just to appease. Consider all of then reviews and consider who you trust. Who, by their record on the site looks like they know what they are talking about? Make your changes after you weightlifting...don't Concern yourself so much with the number of stars...concentrate On doing better with what you have before you.

I saw many other problems with grammar, but quite frankly I cannot take all the time to make corrections.

I wish you good luck, and just keep writing and working at your craft. Blessings, Bob

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2011


reply by the author on 31-Mar-2011
    High yellow is an African American term for very lightskinned black people. And I'm confused about why you want me to replace "But he was axed.." with "But he was asked.." The jealous suitor killed him with an ax not an asked. lol Thanks for your help; I'll check over it and consider the changes.
Comment from dinoscribe
Excellent
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What can I say, if I had a six, you would have it. I'm officially impressed. Your use of narrative,dialogue and description really brings the whole story to life, and you opening paragraph grabbed me and ran with me all the way down the page. Beautifully written. Thank you for sharing this with us at the fanstory site.

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2011


reply by the author on 30-Mar-2011
    Wow you read chapter one. That is really long. That's why I shorten the others. But thank you so much for reading. If you have time, please skip over to the other two, they are very short. I cut them up just not to over burden the readers.
reply by dinoscribe on 30-Mar-2011
    Of course I read chapter one, and it was worth the read. Forget about how long or short a piece is, if it's good, folk will read it. This is good. It's your story, you dictate the length, not the reader. 'You is da boss'. And you is also 'da boss' of writing a good story. I will read over the other chapters. Remember I already have read one of them. Take care not to over work yourself trying to please everyone, 'cos that aint never gonna happen. Read you soon, Dino. :)
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2011
    Thank you so much for your support of my story. I really do appreciate you. Blessings to you my friend.
Comment from JoniE
Excellent
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Oh no! Don't stop there! I'm very intrigued about where this story is heading. I must know what happens next. This has definitely caught my attention.

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2011


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2011
    Ok Ok you're the tenth person who is no me to finish. I'm writing but not ready to post. I need for it to be worthy of what's already written. So glad you like it JoniE. Blessings.
Comment from RebelRose
Excellent
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This is a very interesting story. It grabbed and held my interest all the way through. I am looking forward to reading about plan B.

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2011


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2011
    Thanks RebelRose. I

    Thanks RebelRose. I think I better start writing it. lol
Comment from Gungalo
Excellent
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Wow!!! This is quite the story. I love your attention to details in this write and the way your characters take on real life. Amazing use of imagery and a wonderful sense of the written word. Great tale you spin. Will have to read more for sure!!!!

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2011


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2011
    Thank you Gungalo. I'm writing more now.
reply by Gungalo on 12-Feb-2011
    Ahhh good. Let me know. Oh, I'll just go become a fan!! LOL.