Reviews from

Funeral

a villanelle

20 total reviews 
Comment from honeytree
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

We see this type of situation often.

Emotions can be so different when someone dies.

We can cry or not cry.

True feelings of caring could be false.

We can not judge but God can.

The words written are very interesting to read.

Honey tree

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2010


reply by the author on 12-Dec-2010
    Thanks for an exceptional review; I am truly appreciative.
Comment from R. K. Alan
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Remarkable and memorable. Loved the solemn message, the anguish and sorrow felt. Amazing bit or poetry bringing in a list of words and incorporating them into a rigid poetic form. Nicely done indeed. Ray aka Krylon

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2010


reply by the author on 11-Dec-2010
    Thanks for a great review. I am incredibly appreciative.
Comment from Joan E.
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The nine required words disappear seamlessly into your poem of great pathos. I admired your rhymes and meter in this Villanelle form. Best wishes in the contest.

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2010


reply by the author on 14-Dec-2010
    Thank you for this excellent review and your good wishes.
Comment from Realist101
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Alvin, I am so glad you did not make the required words a different color or different font. I much prefer to have them blend into the piece. This is so sad. Too real. So many never forgive, even their own family members for disappointing them. I know. Excellent work, and I wish you the best in the contest too, Al. Susan

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2010


reply by the author on 14-Dec-2010
    Thanks for an excellent review and your good wishes. I thought about highlighting the required words and am glad I did not.
Comment from Shirley B
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Dear Alvin, You make all poetic forms seem so easy. They flow so smoothly and with such grace. This poem made me hold my breath. It had so much raw emotion and pain. I think I have known too many pretend families in my life. Thank you for sharing this poem with us, Shirley

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2010


reply by the author on 11-Dec-2010
    You are more than kind, Shirley. Thank you so much for this exceptional review.
Comment from whizpurr ^-^
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello Alvin,
The truth is sometimes chilling and your truthful poem had that effect on me. So sad when one denies their own heart and turns away from someone who needs their love and support. Though you broke my heart with this one, the fact remains that it is a well written poem which uses the chosen words naturally and effectively without sounding forced.
Hugs, W ^-^

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2010


reply by the author on 14-Dec-2010
    Thanks for an excellent review. I know it is a very, very sad poem.
Comment from seewhatimwritingnow
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

AH... Leave it to Alvin to take a difficult contest- (using all the words) and make it even MORE difficult, writing it as a villanelle! LOL and do it with absolute perfection! LOL- Very well done my friend- I loved this emotionaly piece. Thanks for sharing- Betty (best wishes in the contest)

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2010


reply by the author on 14-Dec-2010
    I always try to challenge myself. I am gald it worked out well, at least this time! Thanks for a great review.
Comment from richard7
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

A great villanelle over a man put out of his (and their?) misery, the hell beneath the sky, his personal hell and the scorching sun, well written and the scenario is tragic in it's reality.
The alternating lines are fine!
Very nice to read a few times.

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2010


reply by the author on 11-Dec-2010
    Thanks for a great review. You are more than kind. I appreciate it ever so much.
Comment from Valkarie
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This of course is a well penned piece from you the master, your poem is most visual and concise with that creative and expressive narration. Emotional and descriptive in tone and balance, your poem is well executed. With a most adequate word play which is so coherent and utilized your piece is well thought out and is most creative in vocabulary and thought.

Valkarie...

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2010


reply by the author on 14-Dec-2010
    Thanks for an excellent and complimentary review.
Comment from cheyennewy
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Al,

This is a very accomplished poem and you wove the required words so cleverly that I didn't even notice them. I should attempt a Villanelle, they are so lovely when done right. I like the theme, the rhyme and even flow. You get my last six! Well done and good luck in the contest....chey

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2010


reply by the author on 11-Dec-2010
    Chey, you are more than kind. I was worried about this poem and you have reassured me. Thank you so much. I know I owe you some reviews; my FanStory time has been busy with class. I hope to have some time this week and, if not this week, next week to review your stunning work.
reply by cheyennewy on 11-Dec-2010
    I look forward to it, when you have time, I'll be here!