Viewing the World With Fresh Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Ingenue's Debut"The fifteen Years of My Life
32 total reviews
Comment from Michelle S
What a wonderful story. It is very nerve wracking to stand in the spotlight like that and you did an excellent job portraying that.
A few nits that I noticed are marked below.
I've read it, and it('s) just the story of Mary finding out she is going to have a baby.
until she could hear ever(y) word clearly.
Of course, we('ll) be there.
Michelle
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reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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What a wonderful story. It is very nerve wracking to stand in the spotlight like that and you did an excellent job portraying that.
A few nits that I noticed are marked below.
I've read it, and it('s) just the story of Mary finding out she is going to have a baby.
until she could hear ever(y) word clearly.
Of course, we('ll) be there.
Michelle
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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Thank you so much for the review and for catching the nits. I've fixed them. I enjoyed your comments.
Beth
Comment from Penpal
Lol! That's what you get for doin' a good job. I enjoyed this reflection on your childhood, and the descriptive voice of a fourth grader's POV, was excellent. Here are a couple of observations for your consideration.
story of Mary finding out she is going to have a baby. You have to say it like you're Mary, and you're telling your story."
Of course, we('ll) be there. Beth would be thrilled to do it for you. What time would you like us to come?"
A well written story that brings the reader right into the heart of the young girl.
Pen
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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Lol! That's what you get for doin' a good job. I enjoyed this reflection on your childhood, and the descriptive voice of a fourth grader's POV, was excellent. Here are a couple of observations for your consideration.
story of Mary finding out she is going to have a baby. You have to say it like you're Mary, and you're telling your story."
Of course, we('ll) be there. Beth would be thrilled to do it for you. What time would you like us to come?"
A well written story that brings the reader right into the heart of the young girl.
Pen
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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Thank you so much for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed it and found it amusing. I really appreciate you catching the nits. I've fixed them.
Beth
