Redemption
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "The Newspaper"One Man's Return From Hell
54 total reviews
Comment from eclecticjules
Wow! I loved this! I must go back and read from the beginning. Through the excellent dialogue and the subtle descriptions, I was able to easily follow along. Not because the anything was simple but because each sentence is well developed and packs a punch. I was wondering, is "poor mans booby trap" possessive? Thanks for a great story!
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Wow! I loved this! I must go back and read from the beginning. Through the excellent dialogue and the subtle descriptions, I was able to easily follow along. Not because the anything was simple but because each sentence is well developed and packs a punch. I was wondering, is "poor mans booby trap" possessive? Thanks for a great story!
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Thank you very much for reading and for your kind and generous review. Chapter one is an introduction, and chapter two is an expanded back story. I would love for you to circle back! Regards, Bill
Comment from Shirley McLain
Very good chapter. I enjoyed reading it. You gave more information about Dax which made things a little better to understand. I did find one word left out of a sentence and I have pasted it below.
How could you Mexico out of anything we've seen
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Very good chapter. I enjoyed reading it. You gave more information about Dax which made things a little better to understand. I did find one word left out of a sentence and I have pasted it below.
How could you Mexico out of anything we've seen
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Thanks for reading and following this story. I'll circle back around and look at your find. I very much appreciate your help!
Comment from RebelRose
This is a riveting chapter with a lot of background info. Anyone not already following the story could glean a lot from this one chapter. Naturally, the part about making it easy for Dax to leave, caught my attention. I think it is already going to be hard for him to.
I just found one nit ..."How could you [ ] Mexico out of anything we've seen?"
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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This is a riveting chapter with a lot of background info. Anyone not already following the story could glean a lot from this one chapter. Naturally, the part about making it easy for Dax to leave, caught my attention. I think it is already going to be hard for him to.
I just found one nit ..."How could you [ ] Mexico out of anything we've seen?"
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Thank you Patty - I appreciate the help which I will circle back on and I appreciate your ongoing support. Warm regards, Bill
Comment from c_lucas
Give Dax an inch of information and he will take a mile. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Give Dax an inch of information and he will take a mile. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Thanks Charlie - I'm so glad you returned! My previous post was an accident, to this one was for real. Regards, Bill
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You're welcome, Bill. Charlie
Comment from livingwords
You are an excellent writer, not unlike myself (lol). Truly enjoy and can learn from your phrasing and attention to detail. I will be a fan!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dan :))
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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You are an excellent writer, not unlike myself (lol). Truly enjoy and can learn from your phrasing and attention to detail. I will be a fan!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dan :))
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Hi Dan - thanks for reading and thanks for bringing a smile to my face. Regards, Bill
Comment from barbara.wilkey
When I first tried to read your post, FS said it was deleted. I am glad it's back.
I only noticed one questionable speech tag and since I wasn't sure countered counted as a speech tag, I left it alone. Good job.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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When I first tried to read your post, FS said it was deleted. I am glad it's back.
I only noticed one questionable speech tag and since I wasn't sure countered counted as a speech tag, I left it alone. Good job.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Barbara - thank you so much for reading. I always appreciate a six, but to get one from someone I admire is very special. The last two times I've tried to pull things into FS, they wound up getting posted before I was ready. That's what happened with this one. Good thing you didn't get in. You would have had a field day! Always warm regards, Bill
Comment from dportwood
bhogg,
This is a gripping, well-written story that shows great originality and imagination. Apparently you have an acquaintance with weaponry. Very well done.
You may want to fix this little typo:
"Thanks, Cindy, we all better get [too] it."
should be [to].
Duane
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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bhogg,
This is a gripping, well-written story that shows great originality and imagination. Apparently you have an acquaintance with weaponry. Very well done.
You may want to fix this little typo:
"Thanks, Cindy, we all better get [too] it."
should be [to].
Duane
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Thanks Duane - for reading, for helping and for following this story! I do know a thing or two about weapons, but am also using this story attempt to hone some research skills. Regards, Bill
Comment from lola29
Ew! What Dax did to the leader of the Hezbollah group was not as good as waterboarding? Wow! I can't understand why Dax was evicted either. I would want that man on my team anytime. This was another great chapter.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Ew! What Dax did to the leader of the Hezbollah group was not as good as waterboarding? Wow! I can't understand why Dax was evicted either. I would want that man on my team anytime. This was another great chapter.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Thanks for reading Lola and for your continued support of the story. Regards, Bill
Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran
I enjoyed reading this story it has imagery and good flow . Your characters within the story caught my and held it to the end. Your story is good, a good write all round
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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I enjoyed reading this story it has imagery and good flow . Your characters within the story caught my and held it to the end. Your story is good, a good write all round
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Thank you so much for reading and for the wonderful compliment of a six! Regards, Bill
Comment from Max Edon
I haven't read the previous chapters, but I found this to be very exciting and interesting. I liked your descriptions--they were very vivid.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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I haven't read the previous chapters, but I found this to be very exciting and interesting. I liked your descriptions--they were very vivid.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Thank you very much Max! If you ever get a few minutes, chapter 1 is an intro and chapter 2 is a long back story about the primary character Dax. Regards, Bill
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You are welcome
