The Fox Hole
A desert epiphany22 total reviews
Comment from Jnetgame
Very powerfull 100 word story. You cerainly have all the necessary elements in the story. I especially like the sentence: His body was infused with soothing warmth. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2010
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Very powerfull 100 word story. You cerainly have all the necessary elements in the story. I especially like the sentence: His body was infused with soothing warmth. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2010
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Thank you for reading and the kind and generous feedback! Much appreciated.
Comment from sunny39
A very good entry for the contest. You had your main character, the setting, the conflict and the solution. I loved the solution - God.
This is certainly a winning entry.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2010
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A very good entry for the contest. You had your main character, the setting, the conflict and the solution. I loved the solution - God.
This is certainly a winning entry.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2010
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Thank you very much for reading and your kind words. I hope you are right about the outcome!
Comment from ImJLAD
Great job here.
There's a little bit of supsense and mystery to this.
And a nice twist to the ending.
Perfect contender for the contest.
Best of luck to you.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2010
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Great job here.
There's a little bit of supsense and mystery to this.
And a nice twist to the ending.
Perfect contender for the contest.
Best of luck to you.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2010
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Thanks for reading and for your feedback.
Comment from marcii
What an emotional story, sad as all around him seven men die.
The to be told by a voice that it's not your turn, do you believe it or do you think you are going mad, hearing things.
Very good
Good luck in the contest.
Marcii
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2010
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What an emotional story, sad as all around him seven men die.
The to be told by a voice that it's not your turn, do you believe it or do you think you are going mad, hearing things.
Very good
Good luck in the contest.
Marcii
Comment Written 24-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2010
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Thanks Marcii - I appreciate you reading the story and for your kind feedback.
Comment from LumchuckHickle
You truly had me with this story until the final paragraph. You had all the elements, and the writing and setup are both first rate. I'm guessing that he was killed and that those were his final thoughts, a memory or a delusion of some sort, but I'm not sure. A resolution needs to actually resolve. It can be ambiguous. That's possible. But if it is ambiguous, it must clearly be ambiguous: the ambiguity must be obvious and pointed. Yours (if that's what it is) is not. I don't like giving writing as competent as this is less than five stars, but in this case...because the ending seems to have no context...I feel it's justified.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2010
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You truly had me with this story until the final paragraph. You had all the elements, and the writing and setup are both first rate. I'm guessing that he was killed and that those were his final thoughts, a memory or a delusion of some sort, but I'm not sure. A resolution needs to actually resolve. It can be ambiguous. That's possible. But if it is ambiguous, it must clearly be ambiguous: the ambiguity must be obvious and pointed. Yours (if that's what it is) is not. I don't like giving writing as competent as this is less than five stars, but in this case...because the ending seems to have no context...I feel it's justified.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2010
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Thanks for reading. Given 100 words, it isn't always possible to write something exactly like you want. I can assure you that was the case here. As for ambiguity, I don't get your point. A voice (God's) said loosen up, it's not your time.
Comment from sasil
Such profound poignancy in so few words...beautiful. You capture the fear and exhaustion of the soldier and show the reader how this man of faith copes in such bleak conditions. Inspiring!
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2010
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Such profound poignancy in so few words...beautiful. You capture the fear and exhaustion of the soldier and show the reader how this man of faith copes in such bleak conditions. Inspiring!
Comment Written 24-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2010
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Thank you for reading and for your kind words.
Comment from Belinda
Yes, you cannot wish to die when it is not your time yet... Interesting 100 word dash, complete with all ingredients as required by the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2010
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Yes, you cannot wish to die when it is not your time yet... Interesting 100 word dash, complete with all ingredients as required by the contest.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2010
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Thanks Belinda - story writing is my genre of choice, but I've never tried one this short! I appreciate your kind words.
Comment from Begin Again
Writer,
We may wish and want but I honestly believe that one does not leave this earth until there time is right. Very well done.
Carol
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2010
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Writer,
We may wish and want but I honestly believe that one does not leave this earth until there time is right. Very well done.
Carol
Comment Written 23-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2010
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Thank you Carol - first for reading and then for your kind and generous feedback!
Comment from Veekz
Great contest entry! The fear your main character must have felt knowing he was the last left is extreme. You've managed to include the main character, setting, conflict and resolution within a 100 words well and it flows superb. Really well done story with a great story line, no changes needed as far as I'm aware :)
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2010
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Great contest entry! The fear your main character must have felt knowing he was the last left is extreme. You've managed to include the main character, setting, conflict and resolution within a 100 words well and it flows superb. Really well done story with a great story line, no changes needed as far as I'm aware :)
Comment Written 23-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2010
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Thanks V - I very much appreciate you reading the story and then for your kind words.
Comment from forestport12
One of my favorites thus far, partly because you infused great sensory descriptions; or , it could be, you are my alter ego of how I wish to write. Had me in that fox hole, and I was listening to that still small voice too.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2010
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One of my favorites thus far, partly because you infused great sensory descriptions; or , it could be, you are my alter ego of how I wish to write. Had me in that fox hole, and I was listening to that still small voice too.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2010
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What a kind review! I very much appreciate you reading and for your great feedback. I'm reading through the entries and as usual, many are quite good. Warm regards.
