Carrie's Prayer
100 word dash contest entry15 total reviews
Comment from whitteron
You have met the challenge. I thought they were being followed for their pain killers....didn't expect the twist.
Nice work.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2010
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You have met the challenge. I thought they were being followed for their pain killers....didn't expect the twist.
Nice work.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2010
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well tanks, I lost but your support is kind
Comment from Glynnis W
SE,
My first thought was, no way wd Jesus arrange for a person's murder, but then I thought about all of the pain in the world, and realized that He wd be up to it. I assume Carrie's was praying to be murdered to avoid commiting a mortal sin by killing herself, but I'm pretty sure praying for it might just be in the same category. Considering the frequency with which women were bein murdered, I'm surprised the police hadn't staked out the church.
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SE,
My first thought was, no way wd Jesus arrange for a person's murder, but then I thought about all of the pain in the world, and realized that He wd be up to it. I assume Carrie's was praying to be murdered to avoid commiting a mortal sin by killing herself, but I'm pretty sure praying for it might just be in the same category. Considering the frequency with which women were bein murdered, I'm surprised the police hadn't staked out the church.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
Comment from marcii
This one touched me because we all don't always want to live and can't do the job ourselves. I felt like this when I lost my only child.
Shows we don't always pray to have better things in our lives etc.......
Good luck in the contest
Marcii
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2010
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This one touched me because we all don't always want to live and can't do the job ourselves. I felt like this when I lost my only child.
Shows we don't always pray to have better things in our lives etc.......
Good luck in the contest
Marcii
Comment Written 24-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2010
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I can't even imagine the pain you must have felt and are probably still going through. I don't know how I'd ever manage. My deepest and most sincere empathy for your suffering.
Comment from LumchuckHickle
I've read almost all of the entries in this flash fiction contest (two or three more to read), and so far yours is...by far...by far, far...the best. It's a beautifully conceived little piece, and the ending, while a surprise, at least has some foreshadowing. It isn't "cheesy" like many of the endings of otherwise interesting stories that have been entered today. It's in tone with the story and the character. I liked your use of figurative language in this story as well (steaming...bathed). It was restrained but effective. There is also a strong sense of physicality in the story (footsteps...the click). This has a lot going for it, given it is only 100 words long. Very impressive. As I said, I have a couple left to read, but you'll likely get my vote. Great job.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2010
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I've read almost all of the entries in this flash fiction contest (two or three more to read), and so far yours is...by far...by far, far...the best. It's a beautifully conceived little piece, and the ending, while a surprise, at least has some foreshadowing. It isn't "cheesy" like many of the endings of otherwise interesting stories that have been entered today. It's in tone with the story and the character. I liked your use of figurative language in this story as well (steaming...bathed). It was restrained but effective. There is also a strong sense of physicality in the story (footsteps...the click). This has a lot going for it, given it is only 100 words long. Very impressive. As I said, I have a couple left to read, but you'll likely get my vote. Great job.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2010
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There were alot of entries and I commend you for reading them all. Thanks for your generous review.
Comment from sasil
This contest lends itself well to suprise endings...you capped on that well here! What a surprise the woman seeks solace in Death; although, I'm not sure if this premeditation would be considered 'suicidal'. Guess she'll have to take that up with the power's-that-be.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2010
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This contest lends itself well to suprise endings...you capped on that well here! What a surprise the woman seeks solace in Death; although, I'm not sure if this premeditation would be considered 'suicidal'. Guess she'll have to take that up with the power's-that-be.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2010
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Putting oneself in harms way conciously is a deciion, but I suppose when someone lights up a cigarette, they are also playing Russian oulette. Thanks for the read.
Comment from Begin Again
Writer,
I would hope that God would not answer her prayer in this fashion, but one never knows...He works in mysterious ways. A sharp, detailed story in so few words. Well done..
Carol
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2010
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Writer,
I would hope that God would not answer her prayer in this fashion, but one never knows...He works in mysterious ways. A sharp, detailed story in so few words. Well done..
Carol
Comment Written 23-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2010
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thanks
Comment from Bellringer
Well written and original flash fiction with an ironic twist. Hoping for a quick death to ease her pain she asks for and gets a heaven-sent assassin. Best wishes, Hector
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2010
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Well written and original flash fiction with an ironic twist. Hoping for a quick death to ease her pain she asks for and gets a heaven-sent assassin. Best wishes, Hector
Comment Written 23-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2010
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Thanks.
Comment from Tillom Gliss
I guess that's why they say be careful what you pray for! I am new to this flash fiction genre, but from what I have read and know of the contest rules, this was a well written and interesting story with a little twist at the end. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2010
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I guess that's why they say be careful what you pray for! I am new to this flash fiction genre, but from what I have read and know of the contest rules, this was a well written and interesting story with a little twist at the end. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2010
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thank you. Yes, its a tough exercise.
Comment from Writingfundimension
What a good idea. I think this is really well executed and meets the criteria creatively. One typo - alter should be altar. Otherwise, very well done.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2010
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What a good idea. I think this is really well executed and meets the criteria creatively. One typo - alter should be altar. Otherwise, very well done.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2010
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thanks
Comment from Judith Ann
Good job! You had a main character and one your reader could feel for. There was a believable storyline and resolution to the conflict. This entry is very creative as well. Good luck, Judy
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2010
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Good job! You had a main character and one your reader could feel for. There was a believable storyline and resolution to the conflict. This entry is very creative as well. Good luck, Judy
Comment Written 23-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2010
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Thank you
