Flash Fiction
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "One Moment Can Change A LIfetime"Collection of Flash, Micro, etc.
43 total reviews
Comment from MJames82
Great story. It took me in right from the beginning and held my eyes captive right up until the end. will have to check out more of your work! Very well done.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2010
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Great story. It took me in right from the beginning and held my eyes captive right up until the end. will have to check out more of your work! Very well done.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2010
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I appreciate your kindness and encouragment more than you'll ever know..smiles, Carol
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Begin Again:
It is such a juxtaposition of emotions to
first think you have lost a loved one only
to find out that it is someone else you know
who has suffered the loss -- one almost feels
guilty for being relieved when you realize it
means someone else will be grieving
this is an excellent story
thanks for sharing
love,
jan
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2010
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Begin Again:
It is such a juxtaposition of emotions to
first think you have lost a loved one only
to find out that it is someone else you know
who has suffered the loss -- one almost feels
guilty for being relieved when you realize it
means someone else will be grieving
this is an excellent story
thanks for sharing
love,
jan
Comment Written 31-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2010
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Jan,
Yes, part of you is jumping for joy and part of you is looking around waiting for someone to shake their head. Glad you enjoyed...Smiles, Carol
Comment from Donald O. Cassidy
This story shows thankfulness for God's sparing. Yet they are not calloused to the griefs and losses to others. Grandma and Sara have occasion to pray and thank the Lord, considering Sara's pregnancy.
Further, Begin Again, I think this deals with the bare essentials. I needed an example of flash fiction. This seems to measure up.
Don
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2010
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This story shows thankfulness for God's sparing. Yet they are not calloused to the griefs and losses to others. Grandma and Sara have occasion to pray and thank the Lord, considering Sara's pregnancy.
Further, Begin Again, I think this deals with the bare essentials. I needed an example of flash fiction. This seems to measure up.
Don
Comment Written 31-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2010
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Don,
Thank you so much for the wonderful thoughts and the review. I keep trying to work at writing these flash fictions so I truly appreciate your support. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Carol ....
This is a nicely written short story. It has the sort of ending that could well be reality in today's world with the wives, mothers and children of soldiers being visited and told the news that their men-folk will not be returning from war.
There are just two small changes to recommend ...
* You have - I better get in the kitchen ... this should be - I had better get in ....
* You have - I better make some phone calls. Let the other wives know about Jack. I suggest - I had better make some phone calls to let the other wives know ....
As this is a Contest entry, I wish you well.
Love from ..... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2010
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Hullo Carol ....
This is a nicely written short story. It has the sort of ending that could well be reality in today's world with the wives, mothers and children of soldiers being visited and told the news that their men-folk will not be returning from war.
There are just two small changes to recommend ...
* You have - I better get in the kitchen ... this should be - I had better get in ....
* You have - I better make some phone calls. Let the other wives know about Jack. I suggest - I had better make some phone calls to let the other wives know ....
As this is a Contest entry, I wish you well.
Love from ..... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2010
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Nanette,
Thanks for your suggestions..I left it the way it was just because that was their way of talking..not perfect or correct...thanks again for stopping by..Carol
Comment from IndianaIrish
Carol, this is exceptional from the start to the incredible ending. You immediately draw the reader into the story. You took one moment of conflict and gave it a doozy of a resolution. Best wishes always!
karyn :>)
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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Carol, this is exceptional from the start to the incredible ending. You immediately draw the reader into the story. You took one moment of conflict and gave it a doozy of a resolution. Best wishes always!
karyn :>)
Comment Written 30-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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Your thoughts are awesome and the added glow from the stars ain't half bad either. LOL I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment..I apologize for my delay in thanking you..Carol
Comment from gramalot8
Begin Again. Very nice storyline. I have been on the receiving end of a knock on the door like that, but mine was for real. It is hard to take and you never get truly over it. Good dialog, good impressions of fright and hopefulness in your characters as they intereacted with each other. Thanks for sharing with us.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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Begin Again. Very nice storyline. I have been on the receiving end of a knock on the door like that, but mine was for real. It is hard to take and you never get truly over it. Good dialog, good impressions of fright and hopefulness in your characters as they intereacted with each other. Thanks for sharing with us.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment..I apologize for my delay in thanking you..Carol
Comment from Realist101
Oh Lord. This was tense Carol. INtense too. I was sure her husband had been killed. SO glad not. From the heat to the emotions and great dialogue this is most excellent!! I am relieved, there for a minute I found myself not breathing. ") Love!! Susan
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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Oh Lord. This was tense Carol. INtense too. I was sure her husband had been killed. SO glad not. From the heat to the emotions and great dialogue this is most excellent!! I am relieved, there for a minute I found myself not breathing. ") Love!! Susan
Comment Written 30-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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Susan,
There just isn't enought time in the day...Thanks, Carol
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Susan,
Thank you...thank you..thank you Smiles, CArol
Comment from ladybird
An excellent write. So sad. It's only human nature to thank God when you find that it is not one of your loved ones that has been taken, but someone elses' dad, son, brother. Feelings like this doesn't make you a bad person.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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An excellent write. So sad. It's only human nature to thank God when you find that it is not one of your loved ones that has been taken, but someone elses' dad, son, brother. Feelings like this doesn't make you a bad person.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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Thank you...Thank you..Thank you, my friend.
As always I appreciate your comments.
Smiles, CArol
Comment from misscookie
Wow this is truly deep, this is truly a tear jerker I got a lump n my throat still. This touch me more today because last night I went to awake of a 21 year old mother ,she left a child age 3...she Was a member of my church.
This is a godhood write.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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Wow this is truly deep, this is truly a tear jerker I got a lump n my throat still. This touch me more today because last night I went to awake of a 21 year old mother ,she left a child age 3...she Was a member of my church.
This is a godhood write.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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Cookie,
Thanks again..You are the best! Carol
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Have a wonderful day, you wonderful lady.
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Have a wonderful day, you wonderful lady.
Comment from bowls
What a surprise! You've obviously tried to lead on the reader to believe the visit was for either the young woman or the older one. At first it wasn't clear what the men wanted, but later it was clear there was bad news to be delivered. It isn't until late in the story you reveal the mistake. Nicely structured!
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2010
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What a surprise! You've obviously tried to lead on the reader to believe the visit was for either the young woman or the older one. At first it wasn't clear what the men wanted, but later it was clear there was bad news to be delivered. It isn't until late in the story you reveal the mistake. Nicely structured!
Comment Written 29-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2010
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bowls,
Thanks for the review and the kind comments. Appreciate it very much..Smiles, Carol
