Spiritual Oasis
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "I Welcome Life"a collection of spiritual poems
60 total reviews
Comment from karenina
I ADORE this poem. While she would never have conformed to a form of any kind, this has the absolutely joyous ring of my favorite--Emily Dickinson woven above, below and through every line! It is a word Monet...soft and delicate and reverent and perfect!--Karenina
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2020
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I ADORE this poem. While she would never have conformed to a form of any kind, this has the absolutely joyous ring of my favorite--Emily Dickinson woven above, below and through every line! It is a word Monet...soft and delicate and reverent and perfect!--Karenina
Comment Written 08-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2020
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Thank you so much for the six, Karen! I didn't know I could write like Emily Dickinson.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Well, 'I welcome life' in poetry that sings, and this, dear poet, most certainly does. I'm sure glad I didn't miss it! Very nicely done -- I wish it had been a contest entry. Wish I had a six for it too! (I'm all out.)
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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Well, 'I welcome life' in poetry that sings, and this, dear poet, most certainly does. I'm sure glad I didn't miss it! Very nicely done -- I wish it had been a contest entry. Wish I had a six for it too! (I'm all out.)
Comment Written 07-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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Thank you so much, dear friend. I am so glad you enjoyed this. I missed you.
Comment from Valerie Fish
I love this, such an uplifting poem. Your description is beautiful, ( I'm useless at it ), I can conjure up these images in my head.
Particularly like those last two lines.
In these troubled times we are in living in, a refreshing change to read about 'welcoming life'.
Well Done
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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I love this, such an uplifting poem. Your description is beautiful, ( I'm useless at it ), I can conjure up these images in my head.
Particularly like those last two lines.
In these troubled times we are in living in, a refreshing change to read about 'welcoming life'.
Well Done
Comment Written 07-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the great review. But why 4 stars? What does the poem need for a 5 star rating?
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Oh no, I meant five, honestly! Must have just clicked on wrong one. Definitely merits five, I will change it
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I thought so (lol)
Comment from RShipp
"I welcome life ..." A great beginning line to have repeated!
The "poppies ... clover ... bluebells ... and sunflowers" were my favorite picture that you paonted.
Well done. I enjoyed the read.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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"I welcome life ..." A great beginning line to have repeated!
The "poppies ... clover ... bluebells ... and sunflowers" were my favorite picture that you paonted.
Well done. I enjoyed the read.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the great review. I am glad you enjoyed the poem.
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
This treatise to life is a welcome poem. I mirror your feelings and love that you depict so much of this beautiful world.
"I welcome life in happy lovers' kiss;
In scented rainbows and the orchid's bliss." Your words are well chosen.
Ralf
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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This treatise to life is a welcome poem. I mirror your feelings and love that you depict so much of this beautiful world.
"I welcome life in happy lovers' kiss;
In scented rainbows and the orchid's bliss." Your words are well chosen.
Ralf
Comment Written 07-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the great review.
Comment from rjuselius
This is an exceptional and insightful piece of poetry dear eternal muse! I like the way you think as the poem is philosophical.
Thank you for sharing!
Blessings and a humongous hug-it-out hug!
Rebekka x
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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This is an exceptional and insightful piece of poetry dear eternal muse! I like the way you think as the poem is philosophical.
Thank you for sharing!
Blessings and a humongous hug-it-out hug!
Rebekka x
Comment Written 07-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the exceptional review and the six stars, Rebekka. It's an honor.
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My pleasure entirely <3
Comment from trimple
Good morning to you, Yelena
How lovely to be back and read you exquisite poetry again, my friend.
You have certainly brought home to your reader here, a rich reminder of the glorious nature that surrounds us and all the reasons we have so much to live for and see.
I particularly enjoyed--
In rolling waves of Adriatic Sea,
the mountains and the tumbling streams below.
and
the crimson poppies and the clover fair;
Beautiful :)
Much love
tracey
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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Good morning to you, Yelena
How lovely to be back and read you exquisite poetry again, my friend.
You have certainly brought home to your reader here, a rich reminder of the glorious nature that surrounds us and all the reasons we have so much to live for and see.
I particularly enjoyed--
In rolling waves of Adriatic Sea,
the mountains and the tumbling streams below.
and
the crimson poppies and the clover fair;
Beautiful :)
Much love
tracey
Comment Written 07-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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Thank you, dear Tracey. Yes, I am back, after being away from the site for almost three years. I am happy to be back! I missed everyone. I am glad you enjoyed this poem, it's among my own personal favorites, how nice to see you again, much love, Yelena
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Like you, Yelena, I havn't been on the site very much for a long while now. Sometimes it's healthy to take a break and come back afresh :)
Lovely to see you again and I hope to read more of your works in the near future.
much love
tracey
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I reviewed your sonnet for the contest. I was very good.
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I know! And I'm about to respond :)
Thank you!
If anyone knows about writing sonnets, it's you!
I hope to see you there in the competition.
Warren Rodgers is hosting it. Another of my fav writers. :)
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It's a wonderful contest. I saw some creative entries.
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Are you going to enter?
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Not sure yet. It's a challenging contest.
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And who better to challenge them than you?
You are renowned for your exquisite sonnets.
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Thank you, dear
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:)
Comment from Benshu-bookgai
I have a soft spot for sonnets and picked up on that immediately :) I also really liked the "scented rainbows" description. absolutely lovely.
Two suggestions:
stanza 1: "...waves of Adriatic Sea", with it missing the preceeding article "the" ("the Adriatic Sea") to me created more dissonance than the meter achieves by removing it. It's also the only hyper-specific reference to a proper noun, so switching it up to match the non-proper nouns everywhere else would help it fit in, e.g. "in rolling waves of any azure sea" (which would keep it in iambic pentameter)
stanza 3: "...songbirds hammering..." comes across as a glaring outlier compared to all the other natural occurrences established elsewhere--trees bud, waves roll, horses traverse things, newborns are innocent, lovers kiss, but 'songbirds hammering' comes across as unintentionally cartoonish--replacing it with something like "a pair of sparrows busy with their nest" would help keep the iambic pentameter but give it a more comparable image to the rest of the piece.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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I have a soft spot for sonnets and picked up on that immediately :) I also really liked the "scented rainbows" description. absolutely lovely.
Two suggestions:
stanza 1: "...waves of Adriatic Sea", with it missing the preceeding article "the" ("the Adriatic Sea") to me created more dissonance than the meter achieves by removing it. It's also the only hyper-specific reference to a proper noun, so switching it up to match the non-proper nouns everywhere else would help it fit in, e.g. "in rolling waves of any azure sea" (which would keep it in iambic pentameter)
stanza 3: "...songbirds hammering..." comes across as a glaring outlier compared to all the other natural occurrences established elsewhere--trees bud, waves roll, horses traverse things, newborns are innocent, lovers kiss, but 'songbirds hammering' comes across as unintentionally cartoonish--replacing it with something like "a pair of sparrows busy with their nest" would help keep the iambic pentameter but give it a more comparable image to the rest of the piece.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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Thank you.
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And this is not a sonnet - take another look.
Comment from Minglement
Such lovely lyrical rhyme and rythym and to this beautiful testimony to life in every aspect. Beautiful and uplifting in tone and each vivid word picture. Well done. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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Such lovely lyrical rhyme and rythym and to this beautiful testimony to life in every aspect. Beautiful and uplifting in tone and each vivid word picture. Well done. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the great review.
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You are most welcome.
Comment from lyenochka
Loved your celebration of life in your poem - from beautiful flowers, to all the life in the sea, to horses wild and free and the magical life of newborn babies and the life that is in love. Thanks for this enthusiastic call to look for life and celebrate it in your well crafted sonnet!
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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Loved your celebration of life in your poem - from beautiful flowers, to all the life in the sea, to horses wild and free and the magical life of newborn babies and the life that is in love. Thanks for this enthusiastic call to look for life and celebrate it in your well crafted sonnet!
Comment Written 07-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
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Thank you so much. Yes, I celebrate life in this poem - there is so much to be grateful for every day! Glad you enjoyed it.
