Comment from Pen&Ink

Excellent

Hello yel,

Within these twelve short lines you have encased an entire sermon that any minister would be proud to present to a congregation. In fact this could be made into a hymm. Steady meter and good rhymes. Couple that with the message, and you have a winner. Ray

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2010

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reply by the author on 28-Oct-2010

Thank you so much for the great review, Ray. I appreciate it with all my heart.

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Love the theme nad the fine rhyme, alliteraiton, consnance and asonance in this well scribed trio of quatrains.

Loved these lines-

Give in to Him, and you will see release.
(love the internal assonant rhyme of give in and begin)

He'll take your troubles in His holy hand
(nice alliteration on H and t)

and make them melt, He will restore the peace
(nice alliterative consonance on on M)

forever more in your grief-laden land.
(love the consonance o L here)

And love the meaning in all of above as well, of course! Deeply inspirational.

one tiny typo-
When you are tired of the worldly chores,
when life's ordeal is pestering your mind,
Begin to dream of the secluded shores (no cap on B in begin)
where perfect solace with the Lord you'll find.



Loved this one, Yelena dear.

Hugs and blessings,
rd

 Comment Written 24-Oct-2010

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reply by the author on 24-Oct-2010

Thank you, Rama, for such a blessed review. I love spiritual poetry, and will write more of it.

I just created a contest on the subject, and it is my fervent hope that you join it. Religion is a healer, it is our salvation; but trusting ourselves to the Lord, we bring out what is ailing us. Please do consider joining the contest; it is an important one.

I am humbled by your wonderful review, bless you, dear sister.

Love and hugs, Yelena

reply by rama devi on 24-Oct-2010

Thanks fr your sweet response and I'll look into your new contest soon. Lots of Love, rd

Comment from mountainwriter49

Excellent

This is a beautiful, inspirational and spiritual poem.
I liked the way you wrote the smooth, flowing words
of comfort advising the reader to just give in to God.
All will be well.

May I offer just a couple of suggestions for you to consider?
Give in to Him, and you will see[find] release.
He'll take your troubles in His h[H]oly h[H]and

Thanks for sharing this wonderful poem.
ray

 Comment Written 24-Oct-2010

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reply by the author on 24-Oct-2010

Thank you so much, Ray, for the great review. I love spiritual poetry, and find solace in it. Incidentally, I created the contest today on the subject, quoting this poem.

I did make one edit, your suggestion of [find] release is find, but I have "find" in the next line; so I changed it to "get" [release]. As far as His Holy hands, I capitalized "His", but am still thinking on the other. I appreciate your feedback.

Thank you for the review and editing suggestion; feel free to join the contest if it challenges you.

Comment from Realist101

Excellent

Hi Yelena! This is a lovely verse. I always see your faith shine through in your work, very vivid and real. I have trouble, because I am a doubter at times. It's hard for me to have that 'blind trust' spoken of. Thank you for a great little poem! Luv you...Susan

 Comment Written 24-Oct-2010

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reply by the author on 24-Oct-2010

Thank you so much, Sue, for the great review! I love spiritual poetry and find solace in it. Incidentally, I created the contest today with the same topic (seeking solace in religion). More should write on it, and get healed in the process! (smile).

Thanks again my friend, love you, Yelena

Comment from CodyJack

Excellent

I loved this poem and the way it testifies of God's love and how we need to put our faith in Him all the time. He is always there for us. Great job with imagery. Cody

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 Comment Written 24-Oct-2010

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reply by the author on 24-Oct-2010

Thank you so much for the great review. I am glad you liked it.

Comment from markk

Excellent

well written poem on a very deep and touching subject. Finding god and his help to recover ones life. I enjoyed this as you have gotten your message across very well.

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 24-Oct-2010

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reply by the author on 24-Oct-2010

Thank you so much for the great review. I am glad you enjoyed it.