The Whimsical Dish Called Poet
a sonnet for psychotic sonneteers30 total reviews
Comment from LumchuckHickle
Nice last stanza, though I'm not sure it fully integrates with the rest of your poem. What it lacks, for me, is a true feeling (from the poem) of the wish...what would it be here in this poem? I probably just missed it, but... well, I guess I missed it.
I had a little trouble with the metrics, the rhythm in your first stanza and a few other places. The last line of the first stanza, in particular, seemed to have an awkward combination of stresses.
I also had a little trouble with the structure of your argument, not with the argument itself (which is a good one, especially in relation to FS) but with its structure. I think it kept the mood a bit too uneven, and I'm not sure it resolved or expressed in a way that I'd say is consistently level. I understand the argument as this: We (poets, presumably here) generate words and ideas wildly like crazy people until the words catch in a pattern that others (everyone who isn't poetically afflicted) can, at least at some level, accept and understand. But real poets know that the real craziness inhabits those who edit and inhibit their imaginations and gain thereby the unexamined or mundane recognition of the unexamined or mundane readers they were writing for.
You are preciously close to an interesting parallel here: poets craft poems in a similar way to the way pseudo-poets write poem-like things...and what appears insane in poets is really just creativity peeping through the necessary structures, but what appears sane in pseudo-poets is really insanity that has become insane because of the fear of creativity.
All that, now that I rethink it, is quite twisted, not just in language but in thought, and I guess that is my major hold-back feeling from your poem: it's a bit twisted not just in language but in thought. Anyway, for what it's worth: it would be miraculous to get this much meaning out of a poem that is fully tamed, so...ultimately...I do like your wild poem. I'm glad you are willing to and brave enough to take risks like this.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2010
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Nice last stanza, though I'm not sure it fully integrates with the rest of your poem. What it lacks, for me, is a true feeling (from the poem) of the wish...what would it be here in this poem? I probably just missed it, but... well, I guess I missed it.
I had a little trouble with the metrics, the rhythm in your first stanza and a few other places. The last line of the first stanza, in particular, seemed to have an awkward combination of stresses.
I also had a little trouble with the structure of your argument, not with the argument itself (which is a good one, especially in relation to FS) but with its structure. I think it kept the mood a bit too uneven, and I'm not sure it resolved or expressed in a way that I'd say is consistently level. I understand the argument as this: We (poets, presumably here) generate words and ideas wildly like crazy people until the words catch in a pattern that others (everyone who isn't poetically afflicted) can, at least at some level, accept and understand. But real poets know that the real craziness inhabits those who edit and inhibit their imaginations and gain thereby the unexamined or mundane recognition of the unexamined or mundane readers they were writing for.
You are preciously close to an interesting parallel here: poets craft poems in a similar way to the way pseudo-poets write poem-like things...and what appears insane in poets is really just creativity peeping through the necessary structures, but what appears sane in pseudo-poets is really insanity that has become insane because of the fear of creativity.
All that, now that I rethink it, is quite twisted, not just in language but in thought, and I guess that is my major hold-back feeling from your poem: it's a bit twisted not just in language but in thought. Anyway, for what it's worth: it would be miraculous to get this much meaning out of a poem that is fully tamed, so...ultimately...I do like your wild poem. I'm glad you are willing to and brave enough to take risks like this.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2010
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It's not often I receive a review that makes me really go back and look into one of my poems with new ideas and an alternative viewpoint. I found your thoughts on my piece most interesting. This was one which really flew out of me and, as you astutely noticed, I stopped and had to think about the couplet, which got written several times. Hence, they do come from a different 'place' within me. The main body is unadulterated, raw inspiration, and as such I chose to leave well alone. It's as open to interpretation for me as it is for anyone else, since the conscious 'me' played only a transient part in its becoming. The couplet is me, very consciously, trying to match the tone and attitude of the preceding poetry. Of course, it's never going to be that easy when there are eagle-eyed reviewers around to notice!
The flow/meter - I think it works, but this is also basically a single sentence, utilising heavy enjambment (which is never going to work for everyone). The end result is content slightly at odds with the struture I've used - something else you touched on.
As for taking risks, I'm a firm believer in writing the poetry that wants to be written, be it off the wall, mad, considered, structured, insane, rhyming, free, or all of the above sitting in a psychiatrist's waiting room together, each nervously casting sideling glances at the others.
Thank you for an awesome review, for making me think, and for taking so much time and interest!
Mike :-)
PS: Nobody ever said you have to love them all.
Comment from krdeering
Thanks for slinging some more words around for us to read, Mike! This is a great read, a premier post in the "Nutcase Suite" (all the poems about poets and the poetic process). Such a wild sonnet. Such enthused enjambment (really one of the best features)!
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010
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Thanks for slinging some more words around for us to read, Mike! This is a great read, a premier post in the "Nutcase Suite" (all the poems about poets and the poetic process). Such a wild sonnet. Such enthused enjambment (really one of the best features)!
Comment Written 29-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010
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Thank you :-). Yeah, this is almost a single sentence, barring the couplet - enjambmentus extremis, lol. "Nutcase Suite" - I like it. We should start a multi-author book along those lines.
Mike
Comment from heyjude
Mike, thanks for the enjoyable look at we wild creatures
called poets. Yes, we do sling our words around. Sometimes
maybe only other poets can understand the joy we receive
from paper and ink.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010
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Mike, thanks for the enjoyable look at we wild creatures
called poets. Yes, we do sling our words around. Sometimes
maybe only other poets can understand the joy we receive
from paper and ink.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010
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It is a highly esoteric world we inhabit, and it's certainly one with its own conventions and in-jokes. I'm so glad you enjoyed the read :-)
Mike
Comment from honeytree
I loved the art work and the very creative words written here.
I guess we all have our different way of writing, but I liked reading these words very much.
Honey tree
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010
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I loved the art work and the very creative words written here.
I guess we all have our different way of writing, but I liked reading these words very much.
Honey tree
Comment Written 29-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010
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Thank you, Honeytree :-). I always enjoy exploring the strange world of composition.
Mike
Comment from Realist101
How odd, I just wrote a worthless little whimsey, just for fun. THIS describes that to a "t"...wow. "Great minds think alike???" HA> Little Cartman is a good influence on you Mike, he is the "epitomy" of cute whimsey. ") Susan... I'm NOT calling YOUR poem "worthless", just mine! ")
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010
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How odd, I just wrote a worthless little whimsey, just for fun. THIS describes that to a "t"...wow. "Great minds think alike???" HA> Little Cartman is a good influence on you Mike, he is the "epitomy" of cute whimsey. ") Susan... I'm NOT calling YOUR poem "worthless", just mine! ")
Comment Written 29-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010
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Thank you, Susan :-). He certainly can be an inspirational influence, especially when he dive-bombs my stomach from the top of the headboard in the mornings just because he's hungry. In those moments, he inspires some truly amazing language ;-)
Mike
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") OH thank you Mike! THIS is priceless, I mean it. MY first smile and laugh for the day. Bless his heart! My cat gets right in front of the keyboard, and lays down, or curls up making it impossible to type. I set her aside, she comes right back, I set her aside, and this will go on and on, unless I use a gruff tone of voice. So, yes, but what companions they are!! Poor little Cartman, Mike, you musn't starve the little soul! ") Thank you for telling me this, I enjoy!! ") Susan
Comment from Dom G Robles
Excellent in rhyme and rhythm. He writes about how poets are inspired and how they are seen by others...the things they write--our words spending ink...upon a virtual paper born of light...until our peers can look our way and they know our souls with second hand in sight..."
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2010
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Excellent in rhyme and rhythm. He writes about how poets are inspired and how they are seen by others...the things they write--our words spending ink...upon a virtual paper born of light...until our peers can look our way and they know our souls with second hand in sight..."
Comment Written 29-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2010
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Thanks, Dom :-). I'm glad you got it and enjoyed it.
Mike
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Yes, thank yoou. Dom
Comment from beadyredeyes
Yeah, I can dig it. Its quite an inspired and whimsical piece.
The artwork fits well with the theme of the poem.
The rhythm is quick and lighthearted (rhythmically satisfying!)
Some great lines here:"our peers can think they know our souls with second hand insight"
and the closing lines are brilliant (could even be their own separate poem)
Great read.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2010
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Yeah, I can dig it. Its quite an inspired and whimsical piece.
The artwork fits well with the theme of the poem.
The rhythm is quick and lighthearted (rhythmically satisfying!)
Some great lines here:"our peers can think they know our souls with second hand insight"
and the closing lines are brilliant (could even be their own separate poem)
Great read.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2010
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Thanks for the great review :-). Inspired is a good word for it since it came tumbling out on my screen while my fingers tried to keep up. I had to stop and think about the final couplet, but other than that it was an extremely fast write. So glad you enjoyed it!
Mike
Comment from Kelly Shackelford
I love that we are nutcase brethren .what a visual that paints :> very nicely written with great flow. Thank you fro sharing it with us
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2010
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I love that we are nutcase brethren .what a visual that paints :> very nicely written with great flow. Thank you fro sharing it with us
Comment Written 29-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2010
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Thank you, fellow nutcase :-). I was hoping my fellow scribblers would identify with this, and I've not been disappointed! I'm so glad you enjoyed it, Kelly.
Mike
Comment from Sasha
I enjoyed this very much. I'll now have to read Gungalo's response to your review. This is quite clever and a delight to read. Very nice work with this one.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2010
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I enjoyed this very much. I'll now have to read Gungalo's response to your review. This is quite clever and a delight to read. Very nice work with this one.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2010
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This was very much an 'automatic' write - it came pouring out of me almost without pausing. Then the ending couplet took forever! Thank you, Smurphgirl :-)
Mike
Comment from words
Loved it from the title to the fine finish:
The poet's inspiration is a dish
best garnished with a whim served on a wish.
Love this phrase.
Have to bookmark this one.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2010
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Loved it from the title to the fine finish:
The poet's inspiration is a dish
best garnished with a whim served on a wish.
Love this phrase.
Have to bookmark this one.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2010
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Thanks, words :-). This one was a lot of fun to write, and I got the feeling it'd been waiting to spring out for a while.
Mike
