Ode To Khadijah
Honors Khadijah and her role as The Prophet's wife39 total reviews
Comment from annettebda
I read this as a learning exercise, I have no idea what constitutes an ode. I have a better idea now. Comprehensive author notes, well supported and researched, and what appears, to my uneducated eyes, to be a pretty good example have taught me a lot As a reader I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, and actually recognized the phrasing patterns of Ode to Joy before being told. I think this is brilliant. Hope it does well in the contest.
Annette (sorry sixes all gone)
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2010
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I read this as a learning exercise, I have no idea what constitutes an ode. I have a better idea now. Comprehensive author notes, well supported and researched, and what appears, to my uneducated eyes, to be a pretty good example have taught me a lot As a reader I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, and actually recognized the phrasing patterns of Ode to Joy before being told. I think this is brilliant. Hope it does well in the contest.
Annette (sorry sixes all gone)
Comment Written 01-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2010
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Thank you for this excellent review. You can visualize this being sung with one or a few facing left of moving left for the 'strophe' and one or more facing or moving right for the 'antistrophe'.The choral response to each stanza and the 'epode' is always sung by a choir of all singers facing the audience.
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Thank you for these additional explanations. Annette
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Diesen Ku� der ganzen Welt! Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Freude, schöner Götterfunken Götterfunken! (This kiss for the whole world! Joy, beautiful spark of divinity Daughter of Elysium, Joy, beartiful spark of divinity Divinity!)
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Sorry the German did not come out well, I should have copied it with a German language translator. The umlauts do not copy in English. The Kuss (kiss), Geuterfunken (Divinity). From the final movement of Beethoven's 9th symphony. It was Beethoven's final symphonic wok.
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No worries, thanks for translation, I was floundering a bit on that one!
Comment from Shirley B
This is a beautiful ode poem. I love a poem that teaches and flows smoothly in this manner. I loved the last two lines of your poem. I think those two lines can be said for any religion in all lands. Thank you for sharing this story with me. Best of luck to you in the contest, Shirley
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010
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This is a beautiful ode poem. I love a poem that teaches and flows smoothly in this manner. I loved the last two lines of your poem. I think those two lines can be said for any religion in all lands. Thank you for sharing this story with me. Best of luck to you in the contest, Shirley
Comment Written 29-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2010
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Thank you. The last two lines were intended to draw a comparison with other religions and the common urge of mankind to worship TRUTH, by claiming something true that is not. Thus the clear vision of each of the religions.
Comment from Swtdreamz
A smooth rhyming poem with a good flow and insightful lines to draw me in.
Yes, I agree- reason is the truest light and everything can be shone upon revealing the naked truth.
Sometimes surrendering is nice, without a thought- just give yourself.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2010
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A smooth rhyming poem with a good flow and insightful lines to draw me in.
Yes, I agree- reason is the truest light and everything can be shone upon revealing the naked truth.
Sometimes surrendering is nice, without a thought- just give yourself.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2010
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Thank you for review. Just giving can be promiscuous. The only thing that I give away is my trust, even that must be earned with integrity.
Comment from psalmist
Well done. I really like the musical, chanting quality of this piece. Down through the ages, men have been supported and encouraged by strong and faithful women. You have done a wonderful job presenting Muhammad and Khadijah.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2010
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Well done. I really like the musical, chanting quality of this piece. Down through the ages, men have been supported and encouraged by strong and faithful women. You have done a wonderful job presenting Muhammad and Khadijah.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2010
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Thank you for this review and your comments. I think I may have connected.
Comment from dragonpoet
Good easy reading of history to the Islamic faith. Faith in any religion is important.
It almost sounds like song with the chorus changing slightly after each verse.
I think you shouldn't have bolded stanzas 13 and 15.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2010
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Good easy reading of history to the Islamic faith. Faith in any religion is important.
It almost sounds like song with the chorus changing slightly after each verse.
I think you shouldn't have bolded stanzas 13 and 15.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 27-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2010
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Thank you for your thoughtful review. I intended it to sound musical. It has the rhythm of Beethoven's Ode To Joy. It is best known for its musical setting by Ludwig van Beethoven in the final movement of his Ninth Symphony (completed in 1824), a choral symphony for orchestra, four solo voices, and choir. The strophe in the ode is sung by one or more of the solo voices and the antistrophe the rest of the solo voices. The choir sings the bold stanzas which constitute the epode.
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You're welcome. Yes I know the Ode to Joy. It is sung in German..
dragonpoet
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Yeah, Friedrich von Schiller wrote the words in German. There are several English versions.
Comment from Sarah_Goldwell
This is a very good piece of work. It is well written, well edited, and well presented. The flow is good and easy to follow, there are no adjustments needed.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2010
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This is a very good piece of work. It is well written, well edited, and well presented. The flow is good and easy to follow, there are no adjustments needed.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2010
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Thank you for this.
Comment from AlvinTEthington
This is, without question, a brilliant work. A tremendous amount of research has not only gone into early Islamic history, but also to the form of an ode. Excellent knowledge of Arabic is demonstrated as well as superb familiarity with the Qur'an and not with an English translation. As the first believer in the message of the Prophet (PBUH), Khadijah is portrayed well in the antistrophe. One note; the current usual transliteration of the name of the Prophet in English is Muhammad. The repetition works well. You definitely demonstrate a knowledge of the importance of oral poetry in Arabic culture. A stunningly beautiful work.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2010
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This is, without question, a brilliant work. A tremendous amount of research has not only gone into early Islamic history, but also to the form of an ode. Excellent knowledge of Arabic is demonstrated as well as superb familiarity with the Qur'an and not with an English translation. As the first believer in the message of the Prophet (PBUH), Khadijah is portrayed well in the antistrophe. One note; the current usual transliteration of the name of the Prophet in English is Muhammad. The repetition works well. You definitely demonstrate a knowledge of the importance of oral poetry in Arabic culture. A stunningly beautiful work.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2010
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Thank you for the glowing review. As to the transliteration of Arabic to English, there is no standard. I chose the one I use in personal correspondence. A standard would be helpful. My wife is Arabic/English speaker. She is an Arab, though not an Arabian. The distinction is not common knowledge. She can distinguish the nuances of difference among Arabic speaker according to their country. I have worked in Saudi Arabia and in Qatar and visited several more Arab countries. I intentionally chose the theme of the Parable of the Light from the Qur'an to illustrate the common analogy of light to the essence of Islam and the other major religions that survive to the modern age. It is the translation from mythology to reason. I refer to it as the 'light of reason' rather than the light of Allah. I also used Beethoven's Ode to Joy for the rhythm of my poem, which could be sung to that melody. My wife and I researched in the Qur'an the origin of the popular error of the 72 perpetual virgins of the martyr. We found it in the passage that translates to, "...everything the heart desires..." which a French male translator originally rendered as 72 perpetual virgins. I suppose it would certainly be a Frenchman
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Woops! Released accidentally. I suppose it would certainly be a Frenchman's heart's desire.
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Correction: transition, not translation midway in the reply.
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I edited to your suggestion for the transliteration of the name of The Prophet (PBUH).
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Great. This is a beautiful work.
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Yes, I mention in my description of the contest that there is no standard transliteration from Arabic to English. Since I taught Islam, I do know the difference between being Arab and Arabian. The transliteration I gave you is standard in scholarly English works on the Prophet. I would encourage you to promote this work. After ten reviews, the lowest rating is thrown out. Promoting usually is the only way to obtain more reviews.
Would you be so kind as to look at my story The Call? It's in my profile; I am thinking about sending it out for publication.
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Alvin, I am interested to know from what vantage you taught Islam. I have Abdullah Yusuf Ali translation as well as the Richtall translation. I check both and have my wife explain the Arabic text. Do you read Arabic? I do not, but rely upon my wife who was educated in both English and Arabic. She is in touch with much of oral traditions of the people of Palestine. She Googles in Arabic for detailed information. I am in touch with two correspondents, Dr. Mazen Qumsieh, and Sam Bahour who live in Occupied Palestine. I will look at The Call. Thank you again for your encouraging remarks. I was afraid that it would not get the scrutiny it deserves after reading the first two reviews.
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An interesting presentation of the superficial aspects of Islam. This is worthy of publication and should be well received by a public ready for deeper reflections upon Islam.
The Sufi movement searches for the essence of Islam. Though some Sufi who survived the onslaught of murder and mayhem over Islam post-Muhammad, looked for symbolic meaning in ritual, the Essence of Islam has never been found by Sufi or by detailed study, or memorization of the Qur'an. Muhammad, himself, tried to dissuade Muslims from any formed image, concept, or essence of Allah. To this day, Muslims are discouraged to look deeper into the faith to find a meaningful rendition of Allah beyond the name. The 99 names are mostly attributes. I find Al Haqq 'The Truth' to be the nearest to the essence of Allah. You find 'ineffable' to be the 100th name. In so far as Truth is ineffable, you are right. So long as we see truth as merely the verity of fact, we shall never know any other Truth. I find Truth to fulfill the definition by Anselm, "God is that than which nothing greater could be." As a tautology, it fills the bill. But, it does not say what, where, or anything about Allah. Muhhamad Ali, was 'the Greatest', but a predicate is required for sense. He was the self appointed greatest boxer.
Ghandi said, "No God is higher (greater) than truth." Yet he had a very mundane concept of truth that reduces God to the greatest in content, position, or rank. My test is this: What is required by every thing, event, or concept? Truth. Nothing is true without Truth. Even Truth itself requires that it be true, thus requires truth. Any true God requires Truth, that is must be true, or is not God. The essence of Islam and Truth lie in the dichotomy of true/not true. The unity of true/not true comes together in Truth, for if something is true, it must be true that it is true, a tautology, and if 'anything' is not true (nothing) it must be true that it is not true, another tautology. But, that is "...that than which nothing greater could be..." If there were nothing else, but Truth, as in the instant before the Creation, everything requires Truth, but Truth does not require anything else except Truth. Before the Creation only God (Allah) was, thus the ultimate Truth. Allah (The God) is Truth. The Atheist claim that there is no God, is illegitimate because if there were not, it must be true that there is no God, so Truth is required, which would be that than which nothing greater could be. The universal negative does not allow a particular positive. If there were no God, it would be a universal negative, and Truth would be a particular positive. Go further and state that 'everything exists' for any concept or description of what does not exist, does not exist, nothing does not exist, a double negative. Note the conceptual illusion of the statement "Nothing exists." It is like an optical illusion of the mind. What it it were true that 'nothing exists'? Is nothing something? Only in the mind of man can nothing exist. We have the essence of God in our minds if we would but find it.
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PS: A deeper meaning of 'the seal' (final) prophet is that prophets are no longer necessary. All that is required is present in the capacity of a sapient mind. With Truth invention is limited only to what is possible.
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PPS: And fiction is limited only to what can be imagined.
Comment from Slythytove2
I'm afraid I'm not that well versed in Muslim poetry. For instance why did you have to hyphenate O-il and So-il? Abu Fat'ma and Um'Fat'ma gave me trouble too until I got to the end and read your thoroughly confusing notes. Thing is if you have to explain what the poetry is trying The reading to say why not just write it out in long hand.I feel certain you've done an excellent job here with all the correct hyphens and syllables but you haven't reached this reader, and I've actually read the Qur'an.
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reply by the author on 23-Sep-2010
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I'm afraid I'm not that well versed in Muslim poetry. For instance why did you have to hyphenate O-il and So-il? Abu Fat'ma and Um'Fat'ma gave me trouble too until I got to the end and read your thoroughly confusing notes. Thing is if you have to explain what the poetry is trying The reading to say why not just write it out in long hand.I feel certain you've done an excellent job here with all the correct hyphens and syllables but you haven't reached this reader, and I've actually read the Qur'an.
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Comment Written 23-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2010
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Thanks for this. I tried reading with and without emphasizing the two syllables of OIL and SOIL, and though it helped. I will edit it out. I agree with you and it is better without. Those of us who know Middle Eastern culture know, for instance, that Fatima is pronounced as two syllables when speaking with emphasis on the first. English speakers pronounce all three syllables and emphasize the second. That would have added a syllable to each of the lines containing her name. I am afraid that knowledge of the culture, issues in Middle East political problems, and bias color American and other Western thought to the extent that explanation is necessary. Look at i again and grade it for the poetry as an ode alone without the cultural errors.
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BTW: If you do not read Arabic, you have not read the Qur'an, because the translations are NOT the Qur'an. No translation can do justice to the absolutely beautiful poetry of the Qur'an in Arabic. If you get a chance attend a meeting where the Qur'an is sung. Beautiful! Also some of the errors of interpretation show up in ridiculous ideas such as the 71 virgin myth of the martyr. That came from a French translation in which the Arabic, '...all that the heart desires...' came out as 72 perpetual virgins for the male French translator.
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Yes and what- if I don't speak swahieli I can't underrstand black poetry?I thought the whole point of poetry was to express something all people can appreciate not just those of Muslim heritage.
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Have you read any poetry in Swahieli? Arabic? Russian? Any other language? How about Ebonics? PS: I am not an Arab.
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German and French are myh only two other languaqes. And you are right Most translations of poetic work is terrible. A lot of Neruda's work has been butchered by well meaning... But that has to be expected I suppose. I'm not Arabic either but I always try to find the commonality or greater meaning in all poetry.No matter how poorly trandslated the essance of the work should withstand it's format.If we have not this between us- what then?
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Not everyone is a Fitzgerald who could capture the essence of Omar Khayyam.
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Right but knowing not to try is the secret.ADevelop your own style. It only took me 65 years. Better get started.
You can do it! The will is there, and will is all you need.
Comment from gspeak
A very interesting ode to be sure. I have to admit I didn't understand the background without your author's note which helped a great deal.
But I do understand the message of coming to know, following, and be lead by the light by whatever name we choose to call that light. Good job and best of luck in the contest.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2010
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A very interesting ode to be sure. I have to admit I didn't understand the background without your author's note which helped a great deal.
But I do understand the message of coming to know, following, and be lead by the light by whatever name we choose to call that light. Good job and best of luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2010
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You recognize the errors in trying to understand another religion and language. There is a parable of light in most of the significant religions of man. Christianity and Hindu also have a light reference to God. I chose this as the most beautiful 'image' of Islam, as a sacred light to reason for a deity, without the image of multi-person Godhead, like in Christianity and Hindu. Hindus adamantly deny a multi-God religion and insist on One God, with multi personalities and functions. I understand that this problem is one of the reasons for this contest: to dispel the errors of rejection rather than to accept the identities. Thank you for this
