Healing the Rose
Childhood memories15 total reviews
Comment from Nicky B
How true is this line.
To my childish reasoning, the shameful secret was that it was I who had done something bad and wicked.
How often have I heard that and how unjust is it.
I love cats too. Got one on my lap right now purring away.
Thanks for sharing. Nick.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2010
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How true is this line.
To my childish reasoning, the shameful secret was that it was I who had done something bad and wicked.
How often have I heard that and how unjust is it.
I love cats too. Got one on my lap right now purring away.
Thanks for sharing. Nick.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2010
Hello Nick, I am pleased that you connected to my story. Sharing is difficult but wonderfully freeing. Thank you so much for stopping by to review and for your generous stars. blessings, jj
Comment from Suzie Q
Absolutely excellent!! I have to say, I mostly read the poems because that's mostly what I write, but I clicked onto your story and I'm so glad I did. You had me from beginning to end. I especially could relate to your love of animals and you write with such emotion, I could actually feel the joy you must have felt when Bunting found his way home again. Good Lord, I almost cried! Thanks for a wonderful story. Bravo!
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2010
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Absolutely excellent!! I have to say, I mostly read the poems because that's mostly what I write, but I clicked onto your story and I'm so glad I did. You had me from beginning to end. I especially could relate to your love of animals and you write with such emotion, I could actually feel the joy you must have felt when Bunting found his way home again. Good Lord, I almost cried! Thanks for a wonderful story. Bravo!
Comment Written 05-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2010
I'm so happy that you connected to this story. I love the stars you gave me, but I love your words even more. Yes, I still love animals, and so do my children. My husband has learned to tolerate them. LOL Thank you so much for stopping by and for writing such a glowing review. blessings, jj
Comment from Fireshadow
This is a superb entry for this contest. Excellent narrative - loved your "camera" approach to the story telling - and the perfect title and artwork for it. I'm glad that remembering brought you healing in its wake. Unquestionably, a strong contender for the prize. Good luck ! Amarillys
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2010
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This is a superb entry for this contest. Excellent narrative - loved your "camera" approach to the story telling - and the perfect title and artwork for it. I'm glad that remembering brought you healing in its wake. Unquestionably, a strong contender for the prize. Good luck ! Amarillys
Comment Written 04-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2010
What a wonderful review. To feel that someone has connected to one's work is the best reward. Thank you.
Comment from Nicnac
The flashes of childhood memories played out like a video in my mind. Some of the memories are playful and sweet, yet the one where you were assaulted is so painful-- which scarred many of your memories.
Although parts of your childhood were tragic, you've grown into a strong and optimistic person. That is special.
Suggestions:
Pussies (should not be capitalized)
He has escaped (had) has is the wrong tense
An engaging story. Thank you for sharing these personal memories.
Nic
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2010
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The flashes of childhood memories played out like a video in my mind. Some of the memories are playful and sweet, yet the one where you were assaulted is so painful-- which scarred many of your memories.
Although parts of your childhood were tragic, you've grown into a strong and optimistic person. That is special.
Suggestions:
Pussies (should not be capitalized)
He has escaped (had) has is the wrong tense
An engaging story. Thank you for sharing these personal memories.
Nic
Comment Written 04-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2010
Thank you so much for stopping by and reviewing, Nic. I'm happy that this story touched a chord in you.
To explain: Pussies is capitalized because I was in the habit of naming every pet cat, "Pussy". LOL
I used the present tense throughout the Bunting episode to enhance the feeling of excitement...like a racing commentator.
Thanks again for your review.
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My pleasure.
LOL - Naming all your kitties Pussy--how cute! We had several hamsters through the years and named them all Henry. To our surprise, one of them turned out to be a Henrietta. LOL
Comment from ethveg
And Blake was an animal lover:
'to see a robin in a cage
Puts all of Heaven in a rage'
is, I think, close to accurate - and it's just one couplet from a poem that details human cruelty to animals and the displeasure that causes in Heaven.
And the lines you quote from him start to reveal that same mysticism that we no so well in "Tiget, tiger ..." and in "Little lamb, who made thee?"
And of course your "I thought as a child" continues the spiritual aspect which infuses the whole piece.
Nice!
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2010
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And Blake was an animal lover:
'to see a robin in a cage
Puts all of Heaven in a rage'
is, I think, close to accurate - and it's just one couplet from a poem that details human cruelty to animals and the displeasure that causes in Heaven.
And the lines you quote from him start to reveal that same mysticism that we no so well in "Tiget, tiger ..." and in "Little lamb, who made thee?"
And of course your "I thought as a child" continues the spiritual aspect which infuses the whole piece.
Nice!
Comment Written 04-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2010
Your insightful review was a delight to read. I'm so happy to have found ONE person who connected to my story. Makes the sharing worthwhile. Thank you.
Comment from redrider6612
This was pretty good, but it really skips around a lot. With a piece this short, it's best to pick one event to focus on, and in fact I believe that is the intent of this contest. To paint an event in your life with great emotion and depth. The event which is touched on near the end would be the focal point, if it were up to me to choose. I see a lot of potential in your writing, a tendency to be too wordy which is easily cured with some judicious trimming, but overall good sentence and paragraph structure. Best wishes in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2010
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This was pretty good, but it really skips around a lot. With a piece this short, it's best to pick one event to focus on, and in fact I believe that is the intent of this contest. To paint an event in your life with great emotion and depth. The event which is touched on near the end would be the focal point, if it were up to me to choose. I see a lot of potential in your writing, a tendency to be too wordy which is easily cured with some judicious trimming, but overall good sentence and paragraph structure. Best wishes in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2010
I appreciate the time you took to review and to offer guidance. It's a shame that the piece did not resonate with you. Glimpses of a happy childhood rudely interrupted by a traumatic incident. I think your grading is too low, but this is FS, not the real world, so I can live with it.
Comment from RKagan
I guess that many of us are survivors of a rough childhood. I too am a cat lover and my mother hated cats, so I understand. I enjoyed your story...it sounds as if you are on your way to a much better place.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2010
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I guess that many of us are survivors of a rough childhood. I too am a cat lover and my mother hated cats, so I understand. I enjoyed your story...it sounds as if you are on your way to a much better place.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2010
Thank you very much for your review. Yes, I am blessed that I was able to move on. And I am glad that you connected to the cat episode. My children love cats too. My husband, weeeeell?
Comment from KayteeF
I find this story very interesting, much different from many of the others in this competition.
I am saddened with the not so happy memories you have shared, but as you explain at the end, you have remembered why they are sad memories, and you have come to terms with what is now past.
A well written account. Life can be so cruel.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2010
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I find this story very interesting, much different from many of the others in this competition.
I am saddened with the not so happy memories you have shared, but as you explain at the end, you have remembered why they are sad memories, and you have come to terms with what is now past.
A well written account. Life can be so cruel.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2010
I appreciate your kind and thoughtful commentary on the story. And thank you for the stars. There is a proverb that states, Misfortune does not always come to hurt. I believe that.
Comment from BethShelby
Writing about this uncomfortable place in your memory is a very good thing because it has helped you move passed it. Much of what you wrote describes me as a child because I was very sensitive and I cried uncontrollably over books were the little characters like your Pookie becomes lost or dies. I'll never forget Bambi's mother. A loved the part about where you little dog finds his way home. I really enjoyed this story. It should do well in the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2010
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Writing about this uncomfortable place in your memory is a very good thing because it has helped you move passed it. Much of what you wrote describes me as a child because I was very sensitive and I cried uncontrollably over books were the little characters like your Pookie becomes lost or dies. I'll never forget Bambi's mother. A loved the part about where you little dog finds his way home. I really enjoyed this story. It should do well in the contest.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2010
Thanks for the positive review and for your sympathy and understanding. I debated with myself whether or not to include my sad experience. But honesty prevailed. Glad you could relate to the Pookie story and to Bunting's return.
Comment from Minglement
I very much enjoyed your touching entry for the 'I Remember' contest. We all have had our faith tested, and I was glad to read yours won out. This was deftly written and jerked a tear or two. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2010
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I very much enjoyed your touching entry for the 'I Remember' contest. We all have had our faith tested, and I was glad to read yours won out. This was deftly written and jerked a tear or two. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2010
I am happy that I connected with you. Thank you so much for your sympathetic and sensitive review.