Chronicles of the Wandering Man
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Terra Sanctum, A Shadow on the Grey"An extended story in poem form
106 total reviews
Comment from TKField
First off, let me say that I think this, (and indeed the entire saga) is an impressive achievement. It's longer than the tax code, denser than Paradise Lost and as serious as an aneurysm. Well done.
I think I get the gist; This hanged-shadow character is walking through a trashed-out, hellish, post-apocalyptic wasteland. A blighted, radioactive, zombie-infested landscape, where you can't even find a decent Waffle-House. His purpose isn't clear, but he fits right into the Gothic atmosphere and dark desolate themes of this noir-ish epic of decomposition and rippling lassitude.
It's like heavy-duty man; death, suicide, execution, depression, torture, guilt, blood, guts, salad shooters! Sort of like a Gwar concert on acid. Or the Ice-Capades.
So what if this dude ain't exactly Little Mary Sunshine and the poem get's a little overwrought and tends to wallow in it's own sewer for shock value, it's still my kind of chill-inducing, goose-bumpy, hair on the back of the neck standing up kind of black tale.
I have to say, I probably admired this poem more than I enjoyed it, but it's top notch. I wander what you'll write next. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a head in the oven...TKF
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2010
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First off, let me say that I think this, (and indeed the entire saga) is an impressive achievement. It's longer than the tax code, denser than Paradise Lost and as serious as an aneurysm. Well done.
I think I get the gist; This hanged-shadow character is walking through a trashed-out, hellish, post-apocalyptic wasteland. A blighted, radioactive, zombie-infested landscape, where you can't even find a decent Waffle-House. His purpose isn't clear, but he fits right into the Gothic atmosphere and dark desolate themes of this noir-ish epic of decomposition and rippling lassitude.
It's like heavy-duty man; death, suicide, execution, depression, torture, guilt, blood, guts, salad shooters! Sort of like a Gwar concert on acid. Or the Ice-Capades.
So what if this dude ain't exactly Little Mary Sunshine and the poem get's a little overwrought and tends to wallow in it's own sewer for shock value, it's still my kind of chill-inducing, goose-bumpy, hair on the back of the neck standing up kind of black tale.
I have to say, I probably admired this poem more than I enjoyed it, but it's top notch. I wander what you'll write next. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a head in the oven...TKF
Comment Written 09-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2010
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lol, I have to say I don't get many reviews that make me chuckle aloud on the train to work. Thanks for wrapping up the occasional mild criticisms in colourful packaging and prviding some awesome soundbites to print on the inside cover of the finished product! Whilst seeking my poetic soul, I can't resist playing to the crowd a little :-).
Here's hoping that oven was deficient.
Mike
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See what happens when you drink four Chimay Reds and review poetry at three in the morning?
Comment from goozakkc
Lord, that is cool :)
Hehehe, I love the preface too. You have a very smooth way with words, epic words at that, which often sound canned to me. But no so with you. Congratulations, quite a peice of awesome :)
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2010
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Lord, that is cool :)
Hehehe, I love the preface too. You have a very smooth way with words, epic words at that, which often sound canned to me. But no so with you. Congratulations, quite a peice of awesome :)
Comment Written 09-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2010
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Thank you, Goo :-). I'm so pleased you enjoyed the conclusion to my tale. I do love the more flowery language, but always try to use it appropriately. 'quite a piece of awesome' - that's got to be one of my favourite compiments received for this one!
Mike
Comment from thebyers21
Some of the best writing Ive read on this site. I can tell you've put a lot of time into this and it shows. You obviously have tsalent so I hope you keep writing.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2010
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Some of the best writing Ive read on this site. I can tell you've put a lot of time into this and it shows. You obviously have tsalent so I hope you keep writing.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2010
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Thank you, byers :-). The way I'm feeling at the moment, it'd take a monster truck driving away with a rope tied round my gonads to distract me from my writing! Thanks for a fantastic review and the most welcome best wishes :-)
Mike
Comment from Leigh Ann
Awesome, striking reality check of what will happen if we don't stop the path we're on. Let us hope this is not in the near future. This is some of the best writing I've reviewed here since joining. You've really put a lot of creativity, vocabulary genius, and effort into this piece from beginning to end. You're a wonderful writer. Leigh Ann
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2010
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Awesome, striking reality check of what will happen if we don't stop the path we're on. Let us hope this is not in the near future. This is some of the best writing I've reviewed here since joining. You've really put a lot of creativity, vocabulary genius, and effort into this piece from beginning to end. You're a wonderful writer. Leigh Ann
Comment Written 09-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2010
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Aww, thank you, Leigh Ann; you're going to make me blush! I'm pleased to have finished this series but sad to see it go...
Mike
Comment from animatqua
Wow. I write epic poetry myself, and fully understand how difficult it is to fit the exact word needed to sketch a story. The descriptions here are fantastic. The message as bone chilling as the way it is described.
This was very, very good!
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2010
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Wow. I write epic poetry myself, and fully understand how difficult it is to fit the exact word needed to sketch a story. The descriptions here are fantastic. The message as bone chilling as the way it is described.
This was very, very good!
Comment Written 09-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2010
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Thank you, Anim. As you say, it can be extremely hard to say what you need to within form, and especially to maintain that magic balance between storytelling and ijagery. I spent most of my time worrying I'd either lose the reader or drop into straight prose description. Thanks for an awesome review :-)
Mike
Comment from krdeering
This is powerful in its desolation. I don't know if it's fantasy poetry--or prophetic. As usual, your staggering vocabulary has been deployed to perfection (eldritch!)Some of the quatrains are startling in their awful clarity:
My shattered form was animate
and muscles clung to bone,
but skin was now a blackened crisp
and burnt flesh my cologne.
Others startle the reader because of your scientific specificity, which is not really out of place in such poetry, but unexpected and excellent:
My shadow cooled a salad shoot
thrust bravely at the clouds;
triumphant photosynthesis
had birthed despite the shroud.
In Part XXX, I can almost smell the rotting flesh
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2010
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This is powerful in its desolation. I don't know if it's fantasy poetry--or prophetic. As usual, your staggering vocabulary has been deployed to perfection (eldritch!)Some of the quatrains are startling in their awful clarity:
My shattered form was animate
and muscles clung to bone,
but skin was now a blackened crisp
and burnt flesh my cologne.
Others startle the reader because of your scientific specificity, which is not really out of place in such poetry, but unexpected and excellent:
My shadow cooled a salad shoot
thrust bravely at the clouds;
triumphant photosynthesis
had birthed despite the shroud.
In Part XXX, I can almost smell the rotting flesh
Comment Written 09-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2010
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Thank you, KR :-). I'm on the train to work reading messages that are just swelling my head something rotten! I think you just made it too large to fit out the doors when I get to London Victoria! Thank you for your wobderfully encouraging words. Now I just have to figure out what to write next!
Mike
Comment from pickthorn
This is an outstanding work. I can't find anything to criticize except that it gives me a feeling of dispondency when I look into the future and the possible fate of mankind. I will review the other chapters as well.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2010
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This is an outstanding work. I can't find anything to criticize except that it gives me a feeling of dispondency when I look into the future and the possible fate of mankind. I will review the other chapters as well.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2010
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You pay me grand compliment. I'm just thrilled you enjoyed it so much and deemed it six-worthy. Thank you for plastering a big smile on my face this rainy morning on a train in London :-)
Mike
Comment from Popcorn69
your word usage and imagery is very good. You paint a good vivid picture with your blend of words. Each verse flow very evenly between each line. There are no errors that I could find. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2010
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your word usage and imagery is very good. You paint a good vivid picture with your blend of words. Each verse flow very evenly between each line. There are no errors that I could find. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2010
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Thank you, Popcorn. I really appreciate the fantastic review.
Mike
Comment from christopherjl
I really like this, I want to go back to the beginning and read the rest of them to see how the poem is coming together. What kind of poetry is this when it goes on for a long time? Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2010
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I really like this, I want to go back to the beginning and read the rest of them to see how the poem is coming together. What kind of poetry is this when it goes on for a long time? Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2010
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Thank you, Chris. I don't know if there's a technical term, but I think of it as epic poetry, a la Beowulf or many other classic tales. So glad you enjoyed the read :-)
Mike
Comment from gramalot8
Fleedleflump, very nice chapter in your book. I love your easy flow of very metaphoric descriptive language. Very nicely done and good conclusion.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2010
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Fleedleflump, very nice chapter in your book. I love your easy flow of very metaphoric descriptive language. Very nicely done and good conclusion.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2010
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Thank you, Gram. I really appreciate it :-)
Mike
