Where Tranquility Lingers
Inspired by Judian James's -The Meadow13 total reviews
Comment from Wendyanne
Hi sweet Helvi. It's strange where we find inspiration for poetry isn't it? That original line certainly gave birth to a very well written poem. i found it a very beautiful and sooting poem. Well done
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Hi sweet Helvi. It's strange where we find inspiration for poetry isn't it? That original line certainly gave birth to a very well written poem. i found it a very beautiful and sooting poem. Well done
Comment Written 29-Jun-2010
Comment from JimLee
Great writing! This could almost be defined as a life lesson. From this day forward I will look for places where tranquility lingers. I think we let it pass by to quickly and we should grasp it and hold on.
This is inspiring!
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Great writing! This could almost be defined as a life lesson. From this day forward I will look for places where tranquility lingers. I think we let it pass by to quickly and we should grasp it and hold on.
This is inspiring!
Comment Written 28-Jun-2010
Comment from JeJo
I loved your first lines:
"There's a place where tranquility lingers
Within lovely breathtaking views"
My favorite lines were
"In the calming cool waves of emotion
Serenity blossoms and grows"
Your poem has a peaceful feel about it,
since you are writing of tranquility.
When we are quiet, and just sit and think,
then we can be in touch with our emotions,
learn about ourselves, and the atmosphere
surrounding us is serene.
Good abcb rhyme scheme; I thought it interesting how
this poem was inspired by another. - JeJo
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I loved your first lines:
"There's a place where tranquility lingers
Within lovely breathtaking views"
My favorite lines were
"In the calming cool waves of emotion
Serenity blossoms and grows"
Your poem has a peaceful feel about it,
since you are writing of tranquility.
When we are quiet, and just sit and think,
then we can be in touch with our emotions,
learn about ourselves, and the atmosphere
surrounding us is serene.
Good abcb rhyme scheme; I thought it interesting how
this poem was inspired by another. - JeJo
Comment Written 28-Jun-2010
Comment from adewpearl
This poem reads beautifully out loud, helvi - great flow, strong abcb rhyming, and what a lovely message you convey - I could feel the serenity in every line. As the heartbeat slows down to a flutter - great line. I could feel myself drifting on that breeze and being lulled :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
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This poem reads beautifully out loud, helvi - great flow, strong abcb rhyming, and what a lovely message you convey - I could feel the serenity in every line. As the heartbeat slows down to a flutter - great line. I could feel myself drifting on that breeze and being lulled :-) Brooke
Comment Written 28-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
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Hi Brooke, Your words are lovely to hear my friend. I don't think I have to tell "you", how nice it is for someone to feel the words of your poem...especially when you want them to feel tranquility within. Thank you for the fantastic review. :o) Helvi
Comment from misscookie
I love the artwork
It is perfect for your poem
You have a gift in expression what other take for granted. Just reading your sweet gentleness I 'm inhaling the sweetness of the long blades of grass surrounded by assorted wild flower if heaven is like this I know I will be please when my time comes.this is a good write.
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I love the artwork
It is perfect for your poem
You have a gift in expression what other take for granted. Just reading your sweet gentleness I 'm inhaling the sweetness of the long blades of grass surrounded by assorted wild flower if heaven is like this I know I will be please when my time comes.this is a good write.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2010
Comment from AlvinTEthington
This is a good poem about the need for meditation. Good use of the abcb rhyme scheme. I like the alliteration of calming cool. The eighth line is great inspiration.
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This is a good poem about the need for meditation. Good use of the abcb rhyme scheme. I like the alliteration of calming cool. The eighth line is great inspiration.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2010
Comment from Judian James
This is so lovely Helvi and thanks for the mention of me and my piece as your inspiration. That makes me feel quite special my friend. The final outcome is a soothing, tranquil piece. wonderfully rhymed and metered and you definitely take your readers to a delightful place. "the place where tranquility lingers" is such a great line!
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
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This is so lovely Helvi and thanks for the mention of me and my piece as your inspiration. That makes me feel quite special my friend. The final outcome is a soothing, tranquil piece. wonderfully rhymed and metered and you definitely take your readers to a delightful place. "the place where tranquility lingers" is such a great line!
Comment Written 28-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
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Hi Jude, If it wasn't for your lovely poem, this would not exist. You created a beautiful picture in my mind's eye. The tranquility you gave me surfaced in the review I gave you. I thought it would be a lovely subject to write about...and naturally give credit to the person who made it blossom. No Matter who reads this poem, the comments you made here will always mean the most. I'm SO glad you enjoyed this. Thank you for the wonderful review. Smiles and Hugs, Nancy
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Helvi2
A nice poem! You have the meter almost perfect or it would easily be worth 5 stars.
I know all about stress and anxiety myself. My body deals with this in migraine headaches. They are no fun, and this past year I have had many as I try to deal with retirement.
Your poem... I see three lines where the meter needs repair.
line 2... I'd say "in" instead of "inside"
line 5... I don't think you need "this"
line 10...should be "breezes", but that won't work for meter. So I would change it to "You drift on a mild summer breeze".
line 15...how about "Reflections are wonderful charmers"
I enjoyed reading your poem, Helvi2. We all need to check out this meadow of flowers and gentle breezes.
Kim
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Hi Helvi2
A nice poem! You have the meter almost perfect or it would easily be worth 5 stars.
I know all about stress and anxiety myself. My body deals with this in migraine headaches. They are no fun, and this past year I have had many as I try to deal with retirement.
Your poem... I see three lines where the meter needs repair.
line 2... I'd say "in" instead of "inside"
line 5... I don't think you need "this"
line 10...should be "breezes", but that won't work for meter. So I would change it to "You drift on a mild summer breeze".
line 15...how about "Reflections are wonderful charmers"
I enjoyed reading your poem, Helvi2. We all need to check out this meadow of flowers and gentle breezes.
Kim
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2010
Comment from menachem
Nice inspiration. I do that same thing all the time, and, we see, it's usually pretty awesome. A suggestion" "Will truly be blessed", switching it around? I don't know, what do you think?
Nice!
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Nice inspiration. I do that same thing all the time, and, we see, it's usually pretty awesome. A suggestion" "Will truly be blessed", switching it around? I don't know, what do you think?
Nice!
Comment Written 27-Jun-2010
Comment from Gert sherwood
Smiles Helvi
You have written a poem that was inspired from a wonderful poet (Judian James) here on Fanstory.
You have written a beautiful poem with a peaceful view which can makes one experience tranquility.
Gert
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Smiles Helvi
You have written a poem that was inspired from a wonderful poet (Judian James) here on Fanstory.
You have written a beautiful poem with a peaceful view which can makes one experience tranquility.
Gert
Comment Written 27-Jun-2010
