Tales to Terrify Tots
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "The Killer Slugs"The Bogey Man has to resort to trickery to get a y
3 total reviews
Comment from Adri7enne
What kind of a weird mind does it take to ponder on the different ways one could make a child scream, without scaring it half to death and leave it traumatized? Kids must adore this - being scared, but immediatedly afterwards being assured that it was all for fun. Yep, you'd either make them or break them. LOL! You must have raised strong kids. After you, everything else would have been a piece of cake. LOL! You're a great story teller, snod. This is great children's entertainement.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2010
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What kind of a weird mind does it take to ponder on the different ways one could make a child scream, without scaring it half to death and leave it traumatized? Kids must adore this - being scared, but immediatedly afterwards being assured that it was all for fun. Yep, you'd either make them or break them. LOL! You must have raised strong kids. After you, everything else would have been a piece of cake. LOL! You're a great story teller, snod. This is great children's entertainement.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2010
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Kids love being scared ina safe environment, hence all the daddy monster games. Glad you liked it
Comment from sopranodebs
Hahahaha; poor kid, scared the beegeezes out of her. Very good scary story for a kid. Easy to read, flowed really well. Creative imagery, story line structure was good too. One typo that I could find-"apart form [from] its wetness, is that it is so boring." Well done, look forward to reviewing more chapters to come.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2010
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Hahahaha; poor kid, scared the beegeezes out of her. Very good scary story for a kid. Easy to read, flowed really well. Creative imagery, story line structure was good too. One typo that I could find-"apart form [from] its wetness, is that it is so boring." Well done, look forward to reviewing more chapters to come.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2010
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Thank you. I'm glad you liked it
Comment from EXMAN. nffc
Annabelle learns about, um, kiler slugs
Killer?
The people, too, seemed wet. Their spirits seemed dampened
you have a double 'seemed' here. Perhaps you could change the second on the 'somehow' or something to that effect.
Everything and everyone was grey and damp and miserable.
You have the weetabix as grey also(I thought they were light brownish). Is there another colour or word you could use here?
at the grey rain.
Another grey thing.
The slug oozed under the door, leaving a cupful of slime dripping onto the floor.
Dripping from where? Under the door?
That was very good. It sure has been a while since I've read one of yours Snoddo. Earlier in the piece you had a whole heap of 'hads' and while some are necessary I think you could possibly remove a few. I enjoyed the read and could see myself reading something like that to one of my kids. Thanks for posting.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2010
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Annabelle learns about, um, kiler slugs
Killer?
The people, too, seemed wet. Their spirits seemed dampened
you have a double 'seemed' here. Perhaps you could change the second on the 'somehow' or something to that effect.
Everything and everyone was grey and damp and miserable.
You have the weetabix as grey also(I thought they were light brownish). Is there another colour or word you could use here?
at the grey rain.
Another grey thing.
The slug oozed under the door, leaving a cupful of slime dripping onto the floor.
Dripping from where? Under the door?
That was very good. It sure has been a while since I've read one of yours Snoddo. Earlier in the piece you had a whole heap of 'hads' and while some are necessary I think you could possibly remove a few. I enjoyed the read and could see myself reading something like that to one of my kids. Thanks for posting.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2010
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Thanks for your detailed review. I'll look at it again