Comment from dmjones

Excellent

Too bad you missed the contest. Those contests fill up fast. This is well written and I like the fact she didn't win the lottery but wins the guy.

 Comment Written 12-May-2010

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reply by the author on 12-May-2010

Donna,

Yes, if yo miss it when it's first posted you might as well consider it gone. Thanks so much...Carol

Comment from Halfree

Excellent

Hey within the micro format you said a lot. Well done. Like the story, more so after reading your bio. I am new to this Fanstory and its format and sometime have trouble getting the format right. You did this story so very well within the confines of the contest. Would like your opinion on some of my stories. I am going to check you out. This is a great story..really liked it

 Comment Written 12-May-2010

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reply by the author on 12-May-2010

Halfree,

Thanks for the comments and I truly hope that you continue to follow my stories. Half the fun is knowing that others enjoy it as well. Smiles, Carol

Comment from bayoupoet

Excellent

This is well written and well expressed. You kept my attention with this short piece. It is a pleasure to read for you, Carol.
sandra

 Comment Written 12-May-2010

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reply by the author on 12-May-2010

Sandra,

As always, you are a sweet dear. Thank you for your kind comments. Smiles, Carol

Comment from misscookie

Excellent

Sorry you miss the contest I'm sure it would have been a inner
I love the artwork and the name of the store is a veryclever onnection to your write.
I love the flow. I thought it was very cute.

 Comment Written 12-May-2010

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reply by the author on 12-May-2010

Cookie,

Just goes to show you that somethings in life are free...and worth more than all the money a lottery ticket could give. Smiles, Carol

reply by misscookie on 12-May-2010

So true, so true.

Comment from flygirl254

Exceptional

I'm kind of glad you missed the contest, since I entered, and I know your entry would have won! LOL! Really, though, this is another excellent piece of flash fiction. You're very good at it. I love the storyline. It's a well-thought-out, complete piece, all well contained and plausible in only a few words. I particularly love the twist. The elderly woman saying, "If you don't, I will," is a priceless comment! Great work!

 Comment Written 12-May-2010

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reply by the author on 12-May-2010

flygirl,

Awesome....not the part about me missing the contest lol but the part about you really enjoying this flash fiction. I am trying to learn the ins and outs of writing in so few words. I'm thrilled you enjoyed (especially the old lady). Smiles, Carol

reply by flygirl254 on 13-May-2010

Microfiction is one of my favorite things. I think it's so cool to write a complete story in so few words, and have it sound real. I think the biggest problem a writer can run into with this is using words that aren't natural. If someone has to look words up before they can finish the story, it doesn't work. And if your characters are saying things that nobody says in real life, just so the writer gets the meaning in there, then it doesn't hold together as a good story. I like that this contest also stipulates that the writer must have at least 10% of exposition, so that the whole thing isn't dialogue. That makes it much more interesting. You are very good at writing these, and once you learn, they can really become addictive!

Comment from missy98writer

Excellent

Carol,
Delightful story you've written. It would have won the contest too bad you missed the deadline. Great dialogue, characterization, and excellent descriptive writing. I loved the humor. You had me at the first sentence:

His caramel eyes were a welcome addition behind the counter. His fingers grazed mine. A current shot through me. I inhaled.

Thanks for sharing your micro fiction. Keep your chin up and continue to entertaining us with your stories. . .Love & Kisses from Melissa.

 Comment Written 12-May-2010

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reply by the author on 12-May-2010

Melissa,

Melissa,

Thanks for all the wonderful thoughts and for enjoying the story. I am working on getting the ins and outs of these short stories. Appreciate the encouragement. Smiles, CArol

Comment from Ash Madox

Excellent

You missed two contests? Bugga. This is a winner (no pun, but it serves whether I want it to or not). Great writing; saw every moment, and felt them. You're getting so good at this. Think I can learn from you, Carol. Cheers. Ash.

 Comment Written 12-May-2010

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reply by the author on 12-May-2010

Ash,

I am really struggling to catch on to the ins and outs of these short ones. I'm a descriptive writer and it's difficult to cut out the visions and just give the bare bones. Thank you...Carol

Comment from fionageorge

Excellent

Carol, what a pity you missed it. This is very good, well written, good dialogue, as always. Your ability to draw the reader into your writing is always brilliant. I still think right now the money would be nice!

Warmest regards, my friend,
Marijke

 Comment Written 12-May-2010

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reply by the author on 12-May-2010

Marijke,

Actually, so do I...but that's another story. Nice thing about writing, you don't have to worry about the necessities as much (You know like paying bills, etc.) Smiles, Carol

Comment from Kingsland

Excellent

This was a well written short story that held my interest. I liked this piece very much. Who knows what the outcome of a lottery ticket will bring. It was my pleasure to have written a review for it... John

 Comment Written 11-May-2010

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reply by the author on 11-May-2010

John,

Thank you so much for the kind comments and for taking the time to read my story. I appreciate it very much. Smiles, Carol

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read. There is very good imagery and descriptive scheme.

 Comment Written 11-May-2010

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reply by the author on 11-May-2010

Charlie,

Thanks for the encouragement. Flash fiction is difficult for me, but I'm working on it. Smiles, Carol

reply by c_lucas on 11-May-2010

You're welcome, Carol. Charlie