Comment from LJbutterfly

Excellent

This is truly a horror thriller with great descriptions of fear. Belated congratulations on your contest win. You tell a story with a sensational surprising twist at the end. Great writing.

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2021

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reply by the author on 19-Jun-2021

thanks Lorraine. This was a story I wrote and my son made it his first short film. He is talking about redoing it after all these years and that's why I went looking for it and decided to repost. Glad you enjoyed. Smiles and hugs, Carol

Comment from karenina

Excellent

Hello Carol! Isn't this a fine bit of horror, filled with clever misdirection? I thought perhaps Tommy... Then perhaps one of the passengers on the bus! You got me! Turns out she I thought was to be the victim was the perpetrator! First rule of horror...catch the reader unaware! Excellent...Karenina

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2021

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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2021

I wrote this years ago when Matt was wanting a short to practicing filming with... this was his first film (no budget, our neighborhood, and friends as actors) and filming with the home digital camera. He is talking about remaking it now...so I dug it up.

Thanks for the review and your kindness. Smiles, Carol

reply by karenina on 17-Jun-2021

I always enjoy a clever twist! Especially went I have no clue it is coming!--Nice!---Karenina

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Look at you writing a horror/thriller in just 200 words! I knew you could do it. But I'm worried for Tommy now. I was pretty sure that the aunt sent Tommy after the narrator for protection, but I didn't know that the narrator would be the killer.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2021

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021

This was my son's first attempt at filming...I wrote it and he filmed it. (no budget, our neighborhood, and friends). He's been talking about doing it again now that he actually knows how to make movies. I am thrilled you enjoyed. How kind of you! Smiles, Carol

Comment from Eunice Amero

Excellent

Good story. It really isn't safe to be alone. Sometimes we think we will be okay but things can and do happen. It would be nice to have someone to care about you but when you have a child who you beg to live with you and won't then they don't care much. But keep up the good work.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2021

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021

It wasn't to scary. I wrote this and it was the first short my son made into a movie...(no budget, our neighborhood, and his friends). He was talking to me about redoing it now that he is much older and more experiences...thus I went digging for it and decided to repost. Appreciate your thoughts. Smiles, Carol

reply by Eunice Amero on 16-Jun-2021

well it was good. I have always wanted my work on TV don't know if that will ever happen. It was kind of nerve racking.

Comment from Judy Lawless

Excellent

I really hate horror stories, Carol, but since this one is only short, I decided to give it a read. It has the potential to be a real horror story, but this only gives us a hint, for which I'm grateful. lol Well done

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2021

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021

Thank you for reading Judy. It wasn't to scary. I wrote this and it was the first short my son made into a movie...(no budget, our neighborhood, and his friends). He was talking to me about redoing it now that he is much older and more experiences...thus I went digging for it and decided to repost. Appreciate your thoughts. Smiles, Carol

Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock

Excellent

How deserving of the first prize this story is. Such a well-composed mysterious rendering. The premise misguides the reader and the ending is thrilling.

Ralf

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2021

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021

thank you, Ralf... It wasn't to scary. I wrote this and it was the first short my son made into a movie...(no budget, our neighborhood, and his friends). He was talking to me about redoing it now that he is much older and more experiences...thus I went digging for it and decided to repost. Appreciate your thoughts. Smiles, Carol

reply by Raffaelina Lowcock on 16-Jun-2021

Yes, he is right. It could be a great movie.

Ralf

Comment from Carol Clark2

Exceptional

What a great twist at the end! I never expected it. But my adrenaline was rushing just reading this story. It's a well-deserved contest winner. I'm glad you reposted it. Blessings. Carol

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2021

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021

How awesome can this be! Thank you Carol. I wrote this and it was the first short my son made into a movie...(no budget, our neighborhood, and his friends). He was talking to me about redoing it now that he is much older and more experiences...thus I went digging for it and decided to repost. Appreciate your thoughts. Smiles, Carol

reply by Carol Clark2 on 16-Jun-2021

I enjoyed it. Smiles to you! Carol

reply by Carol Clark2 on 16-Jun-2021

It would make a great movie!

Comment from Elizabeth Emerald

Excellent

Congrats on your win for this thriller--stunning double twist--hadn't seen either one coming. Brilliant build-up with diabolical misdirection. Is the narrator's name Nancy, by chance?

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2021

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021

Thanks so much, Liz... I wrote this and it was the first short my son made into a movie...(no budget, our neighborhood, and his friends). He was talking to me about redoing it now that he is much older and more experiences...thus I went digging for it and decided to repost. Appreciate your thoughts. Smiles, Carol

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Carol,

Yep. It's always the ones you'd least expect. Tricia Bundy, I guess. The sister, maybe? Oh, well. What's one more human, more or less, right?

AARGGGHHH! Don't you worry, lady - we'll get you!

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2021

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021

You are the crazy girl, aren't you? Just freed Beth for you......I wrote this and it was the first short my son made into a movie...(no budget, our neighborhood, and his friends). He was talking to me about redoing it now that he is much older and more experiences...thus I went digging for it and decided to repost. Appreciate your thoughts. Smiles, Carol

Comment from Ric Myworld

Exceptional

Sometimes, the shorter the better, and they don't get better than this story. Flash fiction always takes me back to Hemingway's "For sale: baby shoes, never worn." Congratulations on your much deserved win! And thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2021

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021

You are awesome, my friend. This was a short story I wrote for the contest but also so my son could film his first story...(no budget, neighborhood yards, and just friends). We were talking about him redoing the shoot since he's learned a lot over the years so I looked it up. Posted to see how others felt about it. Glad you enjoyed. Smiles, Carol

Your shiny stars are always so special.....

reply by Ric Myworld on 16-Jun-2021

Yes, I've been meaning to ask about your son's movie that was released on TV, I think? You told us, and I wrote it down, but now I can't find it. Imagine that. So, if you don't mind, I just need the name and where I can watch it. Thanks, Carol! :-)

reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021

don't mind at all... It's called Without Grace and the following is what I was given as far as releases: Thanks so much!


The day is finally here! Without Grace is officially released NATIONWIDE on ALL major Video On Demand (VOD) platforms, including Fandango, Vudu, Amazon, Xfinity, Google, Apple. For those who prefer physical media, the DVD can be purchased online at Walmart, Best Buy, Barnes & Noble and Amazon.
A huge thank you to the entire cast and crew of Without Grace for making this possible. This wouldn't have been possible without each and every one of you. So from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU!
WITHOUT GRACE is released on the following platforms:
FandangoNOW
AT&T U-Verse
DirecTV
Dish NetworK and Sling TV
iN DEMAND
Xfinity On Demand
Vubiquity
Verizon Fios
Allin Media (hotels)
Swank (colleges, hospitals)
Hoopla (libraries)
Amazon
iTunes
Vudu
Xbox
Google Play
YouTube Movies
The DVD is available via Amazon.com, Bestbuy.com, Barnesandnoble.com, and Walmart.com.

reply by Ric Myworld on 16-Jun-2021

Thanks, Carol, I can hardly wait to wait it!