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Flash Fiction

Viewing comments for Chapter 33 "Who Surprised Who?"
Collection of Flash, Micro, etc.

32 total reviews 
Comment from Judith Ann
Excellent
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I enjoyed reading this story and a very nice twist on the end. I love how you wove the story around the words; is did you weave the words around the story? Kind of the chicken or the egg thing... Anyway, very nice. _judy

 Comment Written 06-May-2010

reply by the author on 11-May-2010
    JudithAnn,

    Thanks as always for the kind review. Carol
Comment from clorion
Excellent
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I like this story. It's got conflict, drama, sorrow, resolution, everything a story needs. The surprise ending was a nice touch.

 Comment Written 06-May-2010

reply by the author on 11-May-2010
    clorion,

    Thank you so much. Carol
Comment from Sefiros
Good
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Very creative in using the words the way you did. I have to question if the rapid shift of the woman's feelings is because of the pregancy in the first place. I'm not too sure why a haunted house needed to be in the picture. Nice job.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 06-May-2010

reply by the author on 11-May-2010
    Sefrios.

    Thank you...
Comment from MercyWrites
Excellent
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From the moment James spew the red wine out I had fun reading your story. The line where she ran out the house was my second favorite. Your character reacted well with each other, and I love the character development. You have a very good ending. I always expect a twist from these short stories, but you still manage to surprise me.

 Comment Written 06-May-2010

reply by the author on 06-May-2010
    Mercy,


    Thank you so much for taking the time to rad and enjoy my little story. It was fun to write and I am pleased with your encouraging response.

    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Sandollar
Excellent
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I really enjoyed reading this. It was a complete and interesting story. It should do well in this contest. Good luck.

I found no errors.


Sandollar

 Comment Written 05-May-2010

reply by the author on 06-May-2010
    Sandollar,


    Thank you so much for taking the time to rad and enjoy my little story. It was fun to write and I am pleased with your encouraging response.

    Smiles, Carol
Comment from findingmyroom
Excellent
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Great job with the challenge. I can see this happening, complete with the dialogue and setting. You also have accomplished a true story, with a conflict and resolution.

 Comment Written 05-May-2010

reply by the author on 06-May-2010
    findingmyroom,


    Thank you so much for taking the time to rad and enjoy my little story. It was fun to write and I am pleased with your encouraging response.

    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Mariea
Excellent
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A well written short story with good imatination. Characters and dialogue believeable. Thorough editing and easy reading. Good luck in the comp

Have a great day, regards Mia

 Comment Written 05-May-2010

reply by the author on 06-May-2010
    Mia


    Thank you so much for taking the time to rad and enjoy my little story. It was fun to write and I am pleased with your encouraging response.

    Smiles, Carol
Comment from nora arjuna
Excellent
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hi there, this was quite hilarious at the end, and sweet too. i didn't see any spag and all words are well incorporated. i wish you luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 05-May-2010

reply by the author on 06-May-2010
    arjuna,


    Thank you so much for taking the time to rad and enjoy my little story. It was fun to write and I am pleased with your encouraging response.

    Smiles, Carol
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent
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Who Surprised Who - Whom
You've stayed within the strict word limits and incorporated the contest challenge words smoothly, all while writing a lovely romantic story with a cute ending. Good luck in the story. Brooke :-)

 Comment Written 05-May-2010

reply by the author on 06-May-2010
    Brooke,


    Thank you so much for taking the time to rad and enjoy my little story. It was fun to write and I am pleased with your encouraging response.

    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Connie P
Excellent
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Nice humorous entry for the contest. You've recorded a very unique way to propose. Congrats for the exact 150 words used.
Good job overall,
Connie

 Comment Written 05-May-2010

reply by the author on 06-May-2010
    Connie,


    Thank you so much for taking the time to rad and enjoy my little story. It was fun to write and I am pleased with your encouraging response.

    Smiles, Carol