Chronicles of the Wandering Man
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Black Moon Glinting"An extended story in poem form
89 total reviews
Comment from shy1250
Loved this one!! Some hope of a future appearing--what we all seek so desperately, and few truly find. I found the meter in this one more user-friendly, with all the strenths I've pointed out prior. Onward!! later and God bless, shy
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010
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Loved this one!! Some hope of a future appearing--what we all seek so desperately, and few truly find. I found the meter in this one more user-friendly, with all the strenths I've pointed out prior. Onward!! later and God bless, shy
Comment Written 08-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010
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I think I was really finding my stride with this chapter, so the iambic meter was flowing more easily and I'd given up trying to vary it, settling into steady couplets of 8 and 6 syllables. Thakn you once again :-)
Mike
Comment from findingmyroom
Keep up the great work, Mike. My favorite lines here are :
The birth of possibilities
then burgeoned in my mind.
I have to admit I was a tiny bit disappointed at the Adam and Eve reference... a bit obvious, given the situation, but that's ok, just my humble opinion.
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
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Keep up the great work, Mike. My favorite lines here are :
The birth of possibilities
then burgeoned in my mind.
I have to admit I was a tiny bit disappointed at the Adam and Eve reference... a bit obvious, given the situation, but that's ok, just my humble opinion.
Comment Written 06-May-2010
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
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Oh no, I've been obvious! lol, I always try to avoid such things, but I thought a dark take could add some spice to the tale. We shall see how far it gets them :-)
Mike
Comment from CammyCards
Very nice piece of poetry. I admire the way you can write lengthy poems, maintaining the rhymes and rhythm for great stretches. I am going to go back and read the beginning of your "story". Thanks for using my art.
CammyCards
reply by the author on 06-May-2010
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Very nice piece of poetry. I admire the way you can write lengthy poems, maintaining the rhymes and rhythm for great stretches. I am going to go back and read the beginning of your "story". Thanks for using my art.
CammyCards
Comment Written 06-May-2010
reply by the author on 06-May-2010
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Thank you, CammyCards :-). Your artwork was perfect for this chapter of my extended poem/story. I'm so glad you enjoyed the read :-)
Mike
Comment from marcellawachtel
I had to go back to the very beginning to really appreciate this . . .this . . . this epic poem. What marvelous imagry! Somewhat offputting at times because it is so full of extreme emotion and introspection, for me, somewhat confusing because a thread I thought to follow suddenly made a sharp turn into another unrelated (to my understanding) thought. I liked the lines in the very beginning "The sun, these days behind the smog;
Black Moon, dead light obscene. The scene these words depicted sets the mood for the poem.
reply by the author on 06-May-2010
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I had to go back to the very beginning to really appreciate this . . .this . . . this epic poem. What marvelous imagry! Somewhat offputting at times because it is so full of extreme emotion and introspection, for me, somewhat confusing because a thread I thought to follow suddenly made a sharp turn into another unrelated (to my understanding) thought. I liked the lines in the very beginning "The sun, these days behind the smog;
Black Moon, dead light obscene. The scene these words depicted sets the mood for the poem.
Comment Written 05-May-2010
reply by the author on 06-May-2010
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Thank you, Marcella. I'm glad you enjoyed the read, and were driven to take the time to really appreciate it. I'm flattered :-)
Mike
Comment from Amanda Dcosta
Wow.... mixed emotions.
Great writing here. I wasnt sure what I'd find in here and whether it would be dark and not to my liking. But the end note sure does make the read worthwhile.
reply by the author on 06-May-2010
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Wow.... mixed emotions.
Great writing here. I wasnt sure what I'd find in here and whether it would be dark and not to my liking. But the end note sure does make the read worthwhile.
Comment Written 05-May-2010
reply by the author on 06-May-2010
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Thank you, Angeladi, for all the reviews :-). I'm so glad you enjoyed my poem.
Mike
Comment from Amanda Dcosta
Wow - mixed emotions
I wasn't sure what I'd find here considering I hadn't read the previous chapters, but this has good rhythm and metaphors and ends on a note that got my liking.
great writing!
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Wow - mixed emotions
I wasn't sure what I'd find here considering I hadn't read the previous chapters, but this has good rhythm and metaphors and ends on a note that got my liking.
great writing!
Comment Written 05-May-2010
Comment from Amanda Dcosta
Wow - mixed emotions
I wasn't sure what I'd find here considering I hadn't read the previous chapters, but this has good rhythm and metaphors and ends on a note that got my liking.
great writing!
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Wow - mixed emotions
I wasn't sure what I'd find here considering I hadn't read the previous chapters, but this has good rhythm and metaphors and ends on a note that got my liking.
great writing!
Comment Written 05-May-2010
Comment from Amanda Dcosta
Wow.... mixed emotions.
Great writing here. I wasnt sure what I'd find in here and whether it would be dark and not to my liking. But the end note sure does make the read worthwhile.
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Wow.... mixed emotions.
Great writing here. I wasnt sure what I'd find in here and whether it would be dark and not to my liking. But the end note sure does make the read worthwhile.
Comment Written 05-May-2010
Comment from Amanda Dcosta
Wow.... mixed emotions.
Great writing here. I wasnt sure what I'd find in here and whether it would be dark and not to my liking. But the end note sure does make the read worthwhile.
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Wow.... mixed emotions.
Great writing here. I wasnt sure what I'd find in here and whether it would be dark and not to my liking. But the end note sure does make the read worthwhile.
Comment Written 05-May-2010
Comment from M. Karol
Haven't read the previous chapters.
Its a very well written story in verse that flowed very well. love, deciet gave him in and then remorse saves him.
Liked the last stanza...its hopeful.
Madhvi
reply by the author on 06-May-2010
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Haven't read the previous chapters.
Its a very well written story in verse that flowed very well. love, deciet gave him in and then remorse saves him.
Liked the last stanza...its hopeful.
Madhvi
Comment Written 05-May-2010
reply by the author on 06-May-2010
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Thank you, Madhvi. I'm so glad you enjoyed the read :-)
Mike
