Chronicles of the Wandering Man
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "The Cuckoo and the Eldritch Kiss"An extended story in poem form
36 total reviews
Comment from krdeering
... Don't know if I can read too much at once without sort of vanishing into the darkened realm that the Wandering Man inhabits. Yet I am getting addicted. You are a superior wordsmith, indeed.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2010
  |
... Don't know if I can read too much at once without sort of vanishing into the darkened realm that the Wandering Man inhabits. Yet I am getting addicted. You are a superior wordsmith, indeed.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2010
-
I really got into this setting and the Wandering Man's dark world. Thank you :-)
Mike
Comment from shy1250
OK, three dictionaries, and I can't find 'eldritch'--help? Your saga continues beautifully; the two skeletons embracing brought tears to my eyes, and your description of the gun: priceless, perfect. No errors or suggestions--I stride forward, in search of more excellence. I know I said it before, but... your talent is truly humbling. later and God bless, shy
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010
|
OK, three dictionaries, and I can't find 'eldritch'--help? Your saga continues beautifully; the two skeletons embracing brought tears to my eyes, and your description of the gun: priceless, perfect. No errors or suggestions--I stride forward, in search of more excellence. I know I said it before, but... your talent is truly humbling. later and God bless, shy
Comment Written 08-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010
-
'Eldritch' seems more common in our european dictionaries. It's an olde worlde worde! Means macabre and supernatural, otherworldy with a sinister aspect. Great word!
Mike
Comment from Jean Lutz
Powerful ramblings of a soul lost. Very dark, reminds me of Poe's writings. Perhaps there is a warning here about looking back instead of going forward? Best to you with the entry.
|
Powerful ramblings of a soul lost. Very dark, reminds me of Poe's writings. Perhaps there is a warning here about looking back instead of going forward? Best to you with the entry.
Comment Written 23-May-2010
Comment from ulster3
Hi Mike.
You are soooooo talented. This is such a great tale written in quatrains. Your bio also has a wonderful cat picture. Thanks for the wonderful read and i wish you the best in the competition.
Fondly, Rebecca
|
Hi Mike.
You are soooooo talented. This is such a great tale written in quatrains. Your bio also has a wonderful cat picture. Thanks for the wonderful read and i wish you the best in the competition.
Fondly, Rebecca
Comment Written 23-May-2010
Comment from bkrighter
This is an interesting concept and your tale is well told. I like especially the treatment of the couple locked in an eternal skeletal embrace. I did find that some lines did not read smoothly, but the tale had me eager to go forward, so it was not a problem for me.
Steve
|
This is an interesting concept and your tale is well told. I like especially the treatment of the couple locked in an eternal skeletal embrace. I did find that some lines did not read smoothly, but the tale had me eager to go forward, so it was not a problem for me.
Steve
Comment Written 23-May-2010
Comment from Bellringer
Well done adventure fantasy in poetic form. Your lines flowed well and provided vivid images. I presume you used "womb" in part V, fourth stanza in the poetic sense: a place of protection. Best wishes.
|
Well done adventure fantasy in poetic form. Your lines flowed well and provided vivid images. I presume you used "womb" in part V, fourth stanza in the poetic sense: a place of protection. Best wishes.
Comment Written 23-May-2010
Comment from honeytree
So very brave was man in those times on earth and what a challenge this person had everyday.
I felt the words were brilliant describing the struggle, this man had.
Honeytree.
|
So very brave was man in those times on earth and what a challenge this person had everyday.
I felt the words were brilliant describing the struggle, this man had.
Honeytree.
Comment Written 21-May-2010
Comment from geoniasha
This is the first chapter I have read of 'The Wandering Man' but I am most impressed by you storytelling abilities, you skill of descriptive detail and you wonderful imagery. The imagery in Part VI has created an indelible image in my mind. Great write! Thank you for sharing...and good luck. geo
|
This is the first chapter I have read of 'The Wandering Man' but I am most impressed by you storytelling abilities, you skill of descriptive detail and you wonderful imagery. The imagery in Part VI has created an indelible image in my mind. Great write! Thank you for sharing...and good luck. geo
Comment Written 21-May-2010
Comment from Stonesage
Absolutely stunning in every aspect! I loved the easy rhymes, the ease of reading and the imagery created. The skeletons upon the bed was a very strong visual and very well done.
One, small, hiccup would be at the end:
and so I wandered, determined,
across the hostile sand.
The word 'determined' slows the poems smooth flow. Because both words have then ending 'ed' it feels strange and it was the only part of the poem I had to read a second time.
|
Absolutely stunning in every aspect! I loved the easy rhymes, the ease of reading and the imagery created. The skeletons upon the bed was a very strong visual and very well done.
One, small, hiccup would be at the end:
and so I wandered, determined,
across the hostile sand.
The word 'determined' slows the poems smooth flow. Because both words have then ending 'ed' it feels strange and it was the only part of the poem I had to read a second time.
Comment Written 20-May-2010
Comment from jshep
I needed to take a breath after reading this poem as I kept reading to the end without breath. Bravo, wonderful flow and rhyme and an amazing story (although in between other offerings). The skeleton scene of the people lingers in my mind. Beautifully and sensitively described, Mike. This is a phenomenal piece and well deserving of nomination and certainly my vote. A great deal of work has been put into this chapter. Exceptional. Joyce
 |
I needed to take a breath after reading this poem as I kept reading to the end without breath. Bravo, wonderful flow and rhyme and an amazing story (although in between other offerings). The skeleton scene of the people lingers in my mind. Beautifully and sensitively described, Mike. This is a phenomenal piece and well deserving of nomination and certainly my vote. A great deal of work has been put into this chapter. Exceptional. Joyce
Comment Written 20-May-2010
