Comment from Ann Smith

Excellent

Pretty smart kid and pretty smart writer of the challenge to include no s. I like a piece of writing I have to think about for a minute. Lots of detail and dialogue in this piece that allows me to be there watching over their shoulder. Good job and good luck with the contest. ann

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2010

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reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010

Thank you Ann, the story is up for voting actually in the contest/voting booths area :)

Comment from Traviata

Excellent

excellent take on the prompt.

it's hard enough to write a story in 50 words but to eliminate letter s also is more complicated and chalenging..

thanks and good luck

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2010

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reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010

thanks :)

Comment from Charlene0513

Excellent

A writing prompt about a young lad that challenged an man to master what he had on his mind.
Much to the man's surprise.......!
Very nicely planned out.
Charlene

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2010

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reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010

thanks Charlene :)

Comment from Dustman6180

Excellent

Good job on this most difficult task. It's hard enough to write a story using only 50 words, but then to take away the 'S', makes it almost impossible. Good work. Good luck.

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2010

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reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010

thank you so much for your kind words, the story is up for voting in the contest area...

Comment from Patrick G Cox

Excellent

Hi The Author,

Now that is one smart kid, he certainly deserves his money. Clever premise and interesting to note that I have used at least twice the number of 's'es as there are lines in your story...

Patrick

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2010

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reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010

thanks Patrick, the story is up for voting in the contest area:)

Comment from constanta

Excellent

This is a neat little story for the prompt Life Without the Letter S. You did a difficult job very well. I like the boys note.


Thank you so much for sharing this

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2010

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reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010

thanks

Comment from Alison Williams

Excellent

Heh a good short little note on a child getting the drop on an arrogant adult. Well done.

Just one little formatting typo,

"Prove it, "the child nodded, (The space between the quotation mark and 'child')

The man opened the ticket and mad that he got fooled,read: - This sentence is a little awkward. Perhaps reword it slightly? e.g. The man opened the paper (You never mentioned it was ticket before) and read, "You owe me money." (I don't think you even need to put he got mad that he was fooled as it's indicated in the words on the paper).

Anyway, just a suggestion, take it or leave it. Either way, a good piece of work. :)

Alison

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2010

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reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010

thanks Alison, excellent advise

Comment from Border Reiver

Excellent

"Prove it, "the child nodded: you have to move the speech marks here and you need a gap here: he got fooled,read:

This is a very funny little story, although I did get a little confused about who was writing the note and had to read it a few times.

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2010

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reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010

thanks for reading :)

Comment from MizKat

Excellent

This is a neat little story for the prompt Life Without the Letter S. You did a difficult job very well. I like the boys note.

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2010

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reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010

thanks so much

Comment from BethShelby

Excellent

This is a nice little funny story without the use of S. If I was that kid, I think I would have stayed around to collect the money. It isn't easy to write without using S.

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2010

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reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010

thanks BethShelby, it is actually up for voting now in the contest area :)