Danger On The Ice
contest entry25 total reviews
Comment from Teri7
This is a very good short story you have penned without using the letter S. I love the last word - Pray. Good luck. Hugs, Teri
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2010
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This is a very good short story you have penned without using the letter S. I love the last word - Pray. Good luck. Hugs, Teri
Comment Written 17-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2010
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Thank you for the great review and stars. Your support is much appreciated. So glad you enjoyed this.
Comment from lola29
I like this one. You did a great job without the letter S. You are quite talented and very good storyteller. When all else fails, pray.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
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I like this one. You did a great job without the letter S. You are quite talented and very good storyteller. When all else fails, pray.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
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Thank you so much for the wonderful review and five star rating. It means a lot coming from you. Thank you also for the good wishes in the contest.
Comment from Ann Smith
That is a scary thing to have happen to you. Children, especially, don't realize how dangerous this can be. I can feel the bone chilling, numbingly cold water as I type. Good job and good luck with the contest. ann
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
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That is a scary thing to have happen to you. Children, especially, don't realize how dangerous this can be. I can feel the bone chilling, numbingly cold water as I type. Good job and good luck with the contest. ann
Comment Written 16-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
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Thank you very much for the great review and the rating. I'm happy you enjoyed it. I had a lot of fun writing this. Thanks, also, for the good wishes in the contest.
Comment from Dustman6180
A very nice job on this story. Especially under these restrictions. I can't believe you only used thirty-seven words to tell this story. Good job and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
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A very nice job on this story. Especially under these restrictions. I can't believe you only used thirty-seven words to tell this story. Good job and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
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Thanks so much for the wonderful review, five star rating and kind words of encouragement. All is much appreciated. I'm very happy you enjoyed reading this. It was lots of fun to write.
Comment from wierdgrace
I loved this, I pray, and the story and structure kept me interesting, thank you so much for sharing, perfect for the contest, no errors and no revisions.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
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I loved this, I pray, and the story and structure kept me interesting, thank you so much for sharing, perfect for the contest, no errors and no revisions.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
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Thank you so much for the great review and rating. I'm very happy you enjoyed this.It was a lot of fun for me to write. Thank you also for the good wishes for the contest.
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u r so welcome
Comment from Thesis
I like how the warning came, but was already too late. It's so true to life in an ice situation that can be fatal.
Good luck in the voting booth. - Thesis
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
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I like how the warning came, but was already too late. It's so true to life in an ice situation that can be fatal.
Good luck in the voting booth. - Thesis
Comment Written 16-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
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Thank you very much, Thesis, for the wonderful review and rating.
I appreciate all the support and help I've received from you.Glad you liked it.
Comment from MyYiaYia
The picture painted by the poems words were vivid and scary. You could see it happening , while fearing for the womans life. I loved the picture, but didn't think it accurately portrayed the meaning of the poem. To me it appeared to be an indoor skating rink. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
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The picture painted by the poems words were vivid and scary. You could see it happening , while fearing for the womans life. I loved the picture, but didn't think it accurately portrayed the meaning of the poem. To me it appeared to be an indoor skating rink. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
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Thank you for the great review and stars. You may be right about the skating rink. I leaned toward this photo mostly because of the expressions on their faces. I also figured if it came up, most would be able to suspend a little belief.
Thanks also for the good wishes.
Comment from Border Reiver
You have a great little story here. Concise and to the point and no S in sight. I honestly can't see any room for improvement. Well done and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
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You have a great little story here. Concise and to the point and no S in sight. I honestly can't see any room for improvement. Well done and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
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Thanks so much for the positive review and the five star rating.I'm glad you enjoyed this. It was a fun challenge. Thanks, too,for the good wishes for the contest.
Comment from resilke
Hi, nice theme and topic. It's easy to read and flows quite well. I enjoyed reading this. The only suggestion might be to elliminate so many adjectives in the fifth line. You use bone chilling and numbingly cold which sounds a bit repetitive. I like the idea suggested in the last two lines, it makes for a realistically good ending. You can sense the emotion of the woman. It has a bit of suspense in it too. You describe the scene quite well. Thank you for a pleasant read. Keep writing
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
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Hi, nice theme and topic. It's easy to read and flows quite well. I enjoyed reading this. The only suggestion might be to elliminate so many adjectives in the fifth line. You use bone chilling and numbingly cold which sounds a bit repetitive. I like the idea suggested in the last two lines, it makes for a realistically good ending. You can sense the emotion of the woman. It has a bit of suspense in it too. You describe the scene quite well. Thank you for a pleasant read. Keep writing
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
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Thank you for the review. I disagree. I think while being close, they are not the same word. I believe one might even come before the other.
Thank you also for the good wishes in the contest.
Comment from Summer Falls
This little story was very descriptive. Wow, what a scary thought! Falling through the ice with nothing left to do but pray. The artwork you chose was fitting too.
Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
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This little story was very descriptive. Wow, what a scary thought! Falling through the ice with nothing left to do but pray. The artwork you chose was fitting too.
Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 16-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
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Thank you so much for the positive review and five star rating. Yes, that thought scares me too. Can't imagine too much worse than that. Thank you also for the encouragement. I loved that photo too. It was so expressive. That's why I chose it.