Reviews from

Flash Fiction

Viewing comments for Chapter 44 "Good-bye"
Collection of Flash, Micro, etc.

42 total reviews 
Comment from Jonez08
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Oh secret one, this is a phenomenal entry into the contest. A complete story with emotions, flow and great visual. I love it! This is a strong contender. Best of luck in the contest.

Cassandra

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2010


reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
    Cassandra,

    I am absolutely thrilled that you enjoyed this story. Life's most precious blessings are gifts from God. Smiles to you for your generous thoughts and precious stars...
reply by Jonez08 on 16-Feb-2010
    Amen
Comment from another jim
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Nicely done! You've told a poignant tale without using the letter S--so well, in fact, that I just had to go back and check! LOL! (Nope. No S. And no, I didn't count the words!)

You've composed a great entry for the contest. Best of luck...Jim.




 Comment Written 15-Feb-2010


reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
    Jim

    Used exactly 50! Glad you enjoyed the story and I always appreciate your kind comments. Smiles to you...
Comment from patmedium
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

My only ?
How on earth did a lady that old have a daughter that young? Would it not be better with a 'grand' added?
Lovely entry, by the way, congratulations. Pat.

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2010


reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
    Pat,

    How old is old? Some days I feel real old...and how young is young? I consider my adult children young? Smiles to you, my friend
reply by patmedium on 16-Feb-2010
    I was thinking about physical impossibilities, she'd have had to give birth long after the change! Many chuckles here. Pat.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
    Pat,

    I'm almost 62 (and often feel very very old) and my youngest is 25 (which since he's my baby..is young) I tried granddaughter though and it didn't seem to have the same meaning for me....Thanks for sticking with me though..Smiles to you
reply by patmedium on 16-Feb-2010
    I feel much humor and love in your writing, even though you deal with a serious subject here. Pat.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
    I'm trying to leave that dark space....Thank you
Comment from patwannabe
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

author, you might want to change that "daughter" to "granddaughter". An old lady wouldn't have a young daughter. Granddaughter would work because there's no "s".

Otherwise, I like it. good job, pat

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2010


reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
    Pat,

    How old is old? Some days I feel real old...and how young is young? I consider my adult children young? Smiles to you, my friend
Comment from RobinWrites
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This brought back the time my mother-in-law passed away. She was in a comatose state for two days before her last daughter arrived. She woke, lucid and talking as if it were any other day, and said her final good-bye. It was beautiful. A present given to her daughter and grand-daughter from God. Thank you for reviving that memory.

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2010


reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
    Robin,

    God grants us the most precious gifts...Thank you for the wonderful review and for sharing your own experience. Smiles to you
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Touching deathbed scene, and one which very aptly describes such an occasion.
The living, out of love, always hoping for a miracle, which does not always occur.
The dying, concerned to say Good-bye, before death 'enters the room.'
Not an 's' in sight!

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2010


reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
    Juliette,

    So pleased that you enjoyed the story. Thank you for your generous comments. Smiles to you..
Comment from MizKat
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What a beautiful, yet sad story, without using S's. It reminds me of sitting by my mom's death bed and feeling sad that she'd be leaving me, but happy that she was going home to be with her Lord.

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2010


reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
    Kat,

    I think we all have those mixed emotions, especially if the person is suffering from an illness. Thank you for the comments. Smiles to you...
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What a poignant scene this is with a tender narrative voice. I love the alliteration in the first line and the visual that I so easily get from your descriptive detail - this is quite moving, and without one letter S. Brooke

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2010


reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
    Brooke,

    As always, I thank you for your kind and generous thoughts. Glad you enjoyed the story. Our most precious gifts come from God. Smiles to you...
Comment from warbler
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I counted 50 words. Well done. All of the requirements are met. I enjoyed this contest entry. A complete little story has been told with beauty.

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2010


reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
    Warbler

    So glad that you enjoyed the story...I trule appreciate your comments...smiles to you
Comment from kiwirose
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

It is so beautiful description about hope for a miracle. I love this poem to touch my heart and remind me when my dad died years ago.

Thank you for sharing this poem with us :-)

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2010


reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
    kiwirose,

    Awesome...Thank you for feeling the love within the lines and being able to relate it to a moment precious to you. Smiles to you...