POEMS, SONGS AND NOTES
Viewing comments for Chapter 67 "Why?"When I dabble at things.....
50 total reviews
Comment from --Turtle.
Good poem and picture. Figure I would let you know I read it and thought so, don't have any suggestions for changing it. So soon to find the colds of jan, pulling the ice of memory.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2010
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Good poem and picture. Figure I would let you know I read it and thought so, don't have any suggestions for changing it. So soon to find the colds of jan, pulling the ice of memory.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2010
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turtle
Thanks for reminding me how cold it is out side..I'm freezing and I'm inside...Glad you liked the poem. Carol
Comment from lindamay
This is a poem which perfectly illustrates the meaningless loss of life brought about by war. A mother's grief echoes throughout and the "forever chilled" makes me shiver. It is heartrending. Good luck, Linda.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2010
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This is a poem which perfectly illustrates the meaningless loss of life brought about by war. A mother's grief echoes throughout and the "forever chilled" makes me shiver. It is heartrending. Good luck, Linda.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2010
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Linda
I thank you for understanding all the emotion behind the poem. I appreciate your comments. Carol
Comment from rama devi
OH, gosh, this is very touching Carol. After reading your reply to my other review, I cam to see this fine and very very sad cinquain. Effective emotional expressiveness in succinct style. Well presented and enhanced by the artwork.
The closing phrase has a strong poignant ring---cry and goodbye.
So sad.
Warm healing thoughts,
rama devi
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2010
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OH, gosh, this is very touching Carol. After reading your reply to my other review, I cam to see this fine and very very sad cinquain. Effective emotional expressiveness in succinct style. Well presented and enhanced by the artwork.
The closing phrase has a strong poignant ring---cry and goodbye.
So sad.
Warm healing thoughts,
rama devi
Comment Written 03-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2010
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Rama devi
Thank you...Most of the time I am fine and then he gently nudges me as if to say remember me...How could I forget. After I wrote it though, I decided not to be selfish and chose the artwork so other mothers could also relate...I appreciate your reading my poem. Carol
(PS..Now for a pick me up- let me know what you thought of my monostitch..Never wrote one before, missed the contest, and just posted it anyways... Hugs - Carol
Comment from fionageorge
This is a short but very powerful and emotional cinquain poem. The words are well structured together to give the reader the feeling of emotions felt by a mother, at the loss of her child.
Warmest regards and good luck in the contest
Marijke
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2010
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This is a short but very powerful and emotional cinquain poem. The words are well structured together to give the reader the feeling of emotions felt by a mother, at the loss of her child.
Warmest regards and good luck in the contest
Marijke
Comment Written 03-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2010
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Marijke
I knew you would relate well to the emotions in this one...I thank you very much for your kind words. Carol
Comment from mountainwriter49
This is a most beautiful poem that, for me, blends in the pain of a mother's loss of her son and the uselessness of these wars. The poem's flow is smooth and yet its message is gut wrenching. An excellent poem. Thank you for sharing. -ray
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2010
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This is a most beautiful poem that, for me, blends in the pain of a mother's loss of her son and the uselessness of these wars. The poem's flow is smooth and yet its message is gut wrenching. An excellent poem. Thank you for sharing. -ray
Comment Written 03-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2010
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Ray
I am flattered by your words and grateful that you enjoyed the poem. Thank you...Carol
Comment from Belinda
Hi, Carol, this is such a sad poem about a mother losing her child. So deep a feeling through limited words of the cinquain.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2010
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Hi, Carol, this is such a sad poem about a mother losing her child. So deep a feeling through limited words of the cinquain.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2010
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Belinda
Yes, this one rubbed my nerves but then I decided to make it a tribute to other mothers. Thanks for the review. Carol
Comment from flygirl254
How very sad, and unfortunately true. Your poem brings to the forefront again the tragedy of wartime. You hit the rules of the syllable count for a cinquain poem spot on, without your poem sounding as though you've forced words to fit the form. This is an excellent piece. Using the very last line of the poem for your quotation with the single heartfelt word, "goodbye", is an excellent ending. Great work and good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2010
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How very sad, and unfortunately true. Your poem brings to the forefront again the tragedy of wartime. You hit the rules of the syllable count for a cinquain poem spot on, without your poem sounding as though you've forced words to fit the form. This is an excellent piece. Using the very last line of the poem for your quotation with the single heartfelt word, "goodbye", is an excellent ending. Great work and good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 02-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2010
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flygirl
I have decided to venture forth in 2010, trying other styles of poetry. Of course, I think I will take baby steps...Thanks for the review. Carol
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Carol ...
I have read this through twice. You start off in the first person - I weep .... then you change to third person - Forever chilled, a mother cries ....
Would it not be better as - She weeps ....
As this is a Contest entry, I wish you well.
With love from .... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2010
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Hullo Carol ...
I have read this through twice. You start off in the first person - I weep .... then you change to third person - Forever chilled, a mother cries ....
Would it not be better as - She weeps ....
As this is a Contest entry, I wish you well.
With love from .... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2010
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I suppose I could have but it was written as I - the mother..being the same person. I shall consider your suggestion though since you write far more poetry than I. Carol
Comment from Sasha
This is excellent. Deeply moving and beautifully written. It is a superb entry for the contest and I wish you all the best. Keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2010
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This is excellent. Deeply moving and beautifully written. It is a superb entry for the contest and I wish you all the best. Keep up the good work.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2010
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Sash
This poem was very dear to my heart. I am so glad that you enjoyed it. CArol
Comment from leesm
This is a powerful little poem Carol. The art work accentuates the lines of the well written cinquain perfectly. Mothers feel such loss acutely, of course, but fathers too feel the pain of losing a child, especially in a questionable war.
Nice write, and good luck in the contest.
Warmly,
-Lee
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2010
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This is a powerful little poem Carol. The art work accentuates the lines of the well written cinquain perfectly. Mothers feel such loss acutely, of course, but fathers too feel the pain of losing a child, especially in a questionable war.
Nice write, and good luck in the contest.
Warmly,
-Lee
Comment Written 02-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2010
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Lee
The emotions bubbled up over the loss of my son and then I decided to twist it into a tribute for other mothers. Glad you enjoyed. CArol